Chapter Eighteen
The night passed interminably slowly as Annie walked the floor.
Peggy – who had decided to stay – and Nancy had gone to bed hours ago but Annie didn’t even bother.
She knew she would never sleep. Sometime during the night, it stopped snowing, and she stood in the window and watched the dawn break, wondering if Monty had managed to get any rest. He was bound to have been nervous knowing what the day would bring.
Nancy and Peggy got up soon after and from the look of them they hadn’t had much rest either.
‘Right, so let’s get these fires made up an’ have us a nice cuppa, eh?’ Peggy was trying to be cheerful for Annie’s sake, but she was failing dismally. They were all on edge. They had only just sat down at the kitchen table to drink their tea when Levi appeared.
‘Thought I might as well come round ’ere to you lot rather than sit round there in the cottage on me own,’ he told them as he stamped the snow from his shoes. The place had seemed empty without Peggy and he was worried about Annie.
Soon after there was a knock at the door and when Annie went to answer it, she found Reggie on the step. ‘Mother told me about Monty and I thought you might need some company,’ he told her as he made to step inside.
‘Thank you, but I already have enough people here to support me,’ she told him in an icy voice.
He looked over her shoulder and scowled as he saw Levi watching him. ‘Oh, I thought you might be glad of family.’
‘They are my family. Thank you for the offer and do tell your parents I’ll send word as soon as I know how the operation went. Good day, Reggie.’ And with that she closed the door quietly but firmly in his face leaving him fuming on the doorstep.
‘Yer should ’ave told ’im to sod off,’ Peggy said indignantly. ‘He’s got some nerve that one. I don’t know ’ow he dares show his face. It’s a good job we was ’ere.’
‘Don’t worry, I can handle him,’ Annie assured her, although she was glad that Levi and Peggy had been there. They went back to their cups of tea and the terrible wait went on.
It was almost ten o’clock when Annie said, ‘I wonder if it’s all over now? The doctor told me they were taking Monty to the theatre at nine.’
Peggy shrugged as she bounced Adam on her knee. ‘It all depends on how long it takes an’ what they found when they opened ’im up,’ she said sensibly.
‘Well, I’m sorry but I can’t sit around here waiting for a minute longer. I shall go mad,’ Annie declared as she leapt out of her seat. ‘I’m going to the hospital right now.’
‘I’ll come with yer, pet.’ Levi knew what Annie was like when she made her mind up about something and it would be pointless to try and talk her out of it. And so they got dressed in their warm clothes and set off, leaving Peggy and Nancy to look after Adam.
It was fractionally warmer now that the snow had stopped falling, but the ground was slippy with slush and ice as they made their way to the hospital in silence. As soon as they entered, they made for the ward that Monty had been in but to Annie’s horror his bed was empty.
‘Now don’t get panickin’,’ Levi told her sternly. ‘He’s probably still in theatre. Wait ’ere while I go an’ find a nurse to see what’s goin’ on.’
Annie leant heavily against the wall as she watched Levi find a nurse further up the ward. They had a hurried discussion before Levi made his way back to her.
‘The nurse is goin’ to find the doctor. Meantime we ’ave to go an’ wait in ’is office.
She says it’s just through ’ere in the corridor.
Come on, lass.’ He took her arm and physically propelled her back through the double doors, which was just as well because Annie’s legs had turned to jelly and the sense of foreboding that had hung over her like a dark cloud was worse than ever.
It was only a matter of minutes before the door to the office opened and the doctor Annie had spoken to the day before appeared.
He nodded towards two chairs and once they were seated, he sat down at his desk and steepled his fingers, looking ill at ease. ‘Mrs Taylor-Lloyd, I’m afraid there is no easy way to tell you this, but there were complications during your husband’s surgery.’
Annie blinked. ‘I see, but he’s all right now . . . isn’t he?’ Her heart was thumping so loudly she was afraid it was going to jump out of her chest.
The doctor sighed. ‘I’m afraid not. He suffered a massive heart attack and there was nothing the surgeon could do to save him. I’m so very sorry.’
Annie heard Levi’s sharp intake of breath, but she felt nothing. It was as if she was numb.
‘They are just bringing him back to the ward now,’ the doctor went on gently.
‘So that you can have a few minutes alone with him to say your goodbyes. Once again, my deepest condolences, Mrs Taylor-Lloyd. Your husband was a very brave young man. Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to ask the nurse to make you a good strong cup of tea, then you may go to see him if you wish. ’
Once he’d gone, Annie looked at Levi and seeing the tears on his cheeks, she instinctively reached out to pat his hand.
‘It should be me comfortin’ you, lass,’ he said huskily.
Soon the nurse appeared with two cups of strong, sweet tea, but Annie’s sat untouched on the table in front of her, until the doctor came back to tell her, ‘You may go and see him now if you wish, my dear.’
She nodded and strode past him, Levi lagging behind.
In the ward, the curtains had been drawn around Monty’s bed and she slipped through them while Levi waited outside.
He looked so peaceful lying there that she half expected him to wake and tell her there had been a terrible mistake.
She slid onto the chair at the side of the bed, and after a moment or two she tentatively reached out and took his hand, shocked to feel that it was already cold.
It was then that it finally hit her. Monty was gone and grief and guilt struck her like a blow.
‘Oh Monty,’ she whispered as she kissed his cold fingers.
‘I’m so very sorry. I never did tell you I loved you, but I hope you knew I did.
’ In that moment she realised that it was true.
She had loved him in her own way. It had never been the all-consuming passionate love that she had felt for Alex, but it had been a gentle, cosy love that she would have been happy to share with him into their old age.
She started to cry then and Levi joined her and wrapped his arms protectively about her.
‘Oh Levi, what’ll I do without him?’ she sobbed.
‘You’ll be fine, pet. Me an’ Peggy’ll see to that. You’ll never be on yer own. But come away now, there’s nuthin’ to be gained by hangin’ about. You’ve said yer goodbyes, an’ we ’ave arrangements to make.’
She nodded as she slowly rose and laid Monty’s hand down, remembering how many times a day that very hand had tenderly stroked her cheek or her hair. It would never stroke her cheek again. She bent over him and placed a gentle kiss on his lips before allowing Levi to lead her away.
When they got home, they found that Peggy was already aware of what had happened.
The local doctor had called by to give them the news soon after Levi and Annie had left for the hospital, which had given Peggy and Nancy time to have a good cry before Annie got home.
They both knew they would have to be strong for her now.
Leaving Annie to their tender ministrations, Levi set off to visit the undertaker to ask him to go and see Annie to make the arrangements for the funeral.
He also paid Annie’s neighbours’ young son sixpence to deliver a message to Monty’s family in Swan Lane.
He had precious little time for them, but he supposed they deserved to be informed.
When he got back to Annie’s, he found that all the curtains had been drawn as a mark of respect.
The house felt strangely empty without Monty’s cheerful presence and even Adam and Alfred were subdued.
Annie sat staring into space in a world of her own and young Nancy couldn’t stop crying.
‘She ain’t said a word or shed so much as one tear,’ Peggy informed Levi worriedly.
‘Poor lass is probably in shock,’ he answered. ‘No doubt it’ll take her a while to come to terms wi’ what’s happened. All we can do now is be here fer her.’
An hour later there was a sharp rap on the door and Mrs Taylor-Lloyd and Reggie barged in.
‘I knew he should never have married you,’ she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks. ‘This could have been avoided had he had better care!’
‘Now just ’old on a minute, missus,’ Levi intervened angrily. ‘Annie sent fer the doctor the minute she grew concerned about Monty an’ he couldn’t ’ave ’ad better care anywhere.’
Annie stared back at her mother-in-law numbly, wracked with guilt. Perhaps she was right? She had never told him that Adam wasn’t his child or that Nancy was his half-sister. Nor had she ever told him that she loved him because her heart belonged to another, and now she never could.
Hearing the shouting Adam began to whimper, and his grandmother crossed to where he was sitting on a rug playing with his bricks and snatched him up into her arms, making him cry even harder.
‘He’s coming with me now,’ Mrs Taylor-Lloyd shouted. ‘He’s all I have left of my son because of you, and you’re not fit to look after him.’
Suddenly Annie snapped out of her trance, and springing from the chair, she snatched him back and pressed him to her. ‘Adam is my son and he stays with me,’ she ground out, her eyes flashing.
‘Oh, come along, Mother.’ Reggie took his mother’s arm. ‘She’s probably doing you a favour. I mean look at the child – he looks nothing like Monty. Never has.’
Mrs Taylor-Lloyd stood so still she might have been turned to stone as she stared at Adam, then shrugging her son’s hand from her arm she turned and stormed away, Reggie following behind her with a sneer on his face.
Levi was furious. ‘Why the low-life sod,’ he exclaimed. ‘I should ’ave knocked ’is bloody block off. Who the ’ell do they think they are comin’ in ’ere shoutin’ their mouths off at a time like this!’
Peggy hurried over to him. ‘Calm down,’ she pleaded.
‘Else you’ll be ’aving another stroke, an’ what good would that do?
In all fairness, the woman ’as just lost ’er son, so she’s bound to be upset.
She probably ain’t thinkin’ straight. An’ as fer Reggie .
. . Well, we all know what a good fer nothin’ he is, so don’t let ’im rile yer. ’
Levi took a deep breath. Peggy was right but it didn’t make him like Reggie any better.
‘Don’t worry, he’ll get his comeuppance one o’ these days,’ Peggy soothed as she pressed him down onto a chair. Then she turned back to Annie. ‘Here. Let me ’ave the nipper,’ she urged, gently taking Adam from her. ‘An’ you, Nancy, go an’ make another cup o’ tea, there’s a good girl.’
‘I feel like I’m bloody drownin’ in tea,’ Levi grumbled, but he remained seated as Peggy ushered Annie into the dining room.
‘Don’t let that old bat get to yer, pet,’ she said. Annie was shaking like a leaf, and again the guilt sliced through her like a knife.
It was some hours later when the undertaker called to discuss the funeral with Annie.
It was one of the hardest things she had ever had to do and it brought home to her that Monty really was gone.
She would never see him smiling again, never watch the tender way he played with Adam or hear his cheerful voice each evening when he came home from work, and it was hard to bear.