Chapter Forty-Seven
The following week, John and Marie took Annie back to the hospital to have the stitches in her arm and face removed.
A lot of the bruising and swelling had gone down, but Annie was still very conscious of the scar on her cheek.
She was managing to hobble about quite well on crutches and was beginning to think about going back to Nuneaton.
It didn’t feel right imposing on Marie and John any more than she had to, although they had treated her like royalty and made her and Adam so welcome.
Alfred was back with them too and had barely left Annie’s side, and she knew that she probably owed him her life.
She’d had a lot of time to think and was still pleased with her decision not to start any further business ventures until Adam was at school, so why, she wondered, was there still this hollow space inside her?
She was sitting with Marie one evening enjoying a cup of cocoa before retiring when Marie asked, ‘What is it, ma petite? I know you well enough by now to see that something is troubling you. Are you still fretting over the attack?’
Annie stared at her for a moment and suddenly her innermost thoughts came spilling out. She knew now that she could trust Marie with her life, and she didn’t think she would think badly of her if she told her the truth.
‘I was just thinking about . . . someone special,’ she confided in a low voice.
Marie’s eyes stretched wide. ‘Someone special? I did not think there was such a person in your life since your husband died.’
‘Well, there is, and has been for a long time – since even before I married Monty, although nothing could ever come of it,’ she admitted, and slowly and painfully the whole sorry story came out.
‘So, you and Monsieur Gordon were . . . lovers and Adam is ’is son?’
When Annie nodded miserably, Marie sucked in her breath. ‘But why ’ave you never told ’im? He is an honourable man and ’e would ’ave looked after you both.’
‘I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want him to feel obligated towards me. He already has a wife and child to care for, so it was better if he never knew about Adam.’
Marie’s hand flew to her mouth. She had assumed Annie knew Alex’s wife had been killed in an accident some time before. ‘But you still care about ’im?’
Annie’s sad face gave Marie her answer, and she sighed but said no more, and soon after they each made their way to their rooms.
Three days later, shortly after dinner, as Annie sat in the drawing room reading a newspaper, Marie opened the door and ushered in a visitor.
Annie looked round and for a moment they simply stared at each other.
Conscious of the scar on her face, Annie lifted her hand to cover it as Alex Gordon moved towards her.
‘Hello, Annie. I saw Marie earlier today and she told me what had happened to you. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. She also told me that you are a widow. I didn’t know that either or I would have got in touch.’
‘What would have been the point?’ Annie said quietly. ‘You have a wife and a daughter.’
He was sat down opposite her, their legs almost touching, and hot colour flooded into her cheeks.
He shook his head. ‘No, as a matter of fact, I don’t. I still have Lucy, my daughter, thank goodness, but my wife was killed shortly after the war ended.’
‘Oh . . . I’m so sorry.’
‘Don’t be. She’d been drinking, as usual, and after a night in the pub with her friends she stepped into the road straight into the path of an oncoming car.
The driver didn’t stand a chance of stopping.
The doctor told me she would have died instantly, so at least she didn’t suffer.
As I once told you, our marriage had been over in all but name for a long time – although I would never have wished her dead. ’
‘But how have you managed with your little girl on your own?’
He smiled. ‘I have a marvellous live-in nanny. But how have you managed with your little boy?’
‘With lots of help from Peggy and Nancy,’ she told him truthfully. ‘But recently I’ve decided to go back home to Nuneaton so I can spend more time with him, at least until he goes to school. I shall probably start another business venture then.’
There was a tap at the door, and it opened to reveal Marie holding Adam’s hand. Her maid had just bathed and changed him into clean pyjamas, and with his teddy bear tucked under his arm and his thumb jammed in his mouth he looked adorable.
‘There is a young man ’ere who wishes to say goodnight to his mama before I tuck him into bed,’ Marie said quietly, and releasing her hand Adam hurried over to his mother.
Annie was painfully aware of the way Alex was watching him before he held his hand out and said softly, ‘Hello, Adam.’
Adam was the friendliest of children with a smile for everyone and he happily approached Alex to shake his hand. Alex meanwhile had gone quite pale and was staring at him intently.
Marie cleared her throat and said, ‘Come along, mon chèri, we shall go and ’ave a story now, yes?’
They left the room and for a while Alex said nothing but sat with his head lowered. When he looked up, he asked quietly, ‘He’s mine, isn’t he?’
Annie opened her mouth to deny it but then her shoulders sagged and she nodded. ‘Yes, Alex . . . he’s yours.’
‘He looks just like Lucy,’ he said with a shake of his head. ‘But why did you never tell me? Surely I had a right to know I had a son!’
‘I was already married to Monty when I found out I was having your baby. How could I tell you? What would have been the point? You had a wife and child already and I had Monty. It would have caused so much heartache. I was fond of Monty and didn’t want to hurt him.
We were happy together until . . .’ Her voice broke and she looked down as Alex inhaled deeply.
It wasn’t every day you found out you had a son.
‘Well, you’ve done a great job with him,’ he said quietly. ‘He’s a grand little chap, but did Monty never guess?’
‘He never said if he did and he was a wonderful father to him . . . but I think deep down he knew,’ she admitted.
‘So, what do we do now?’
She shrugged. ‘There’s no need for you to do anything. We’ll just go on as before.’
‘But if he’s my son, I want to be part of his life. I want him to meet his big sister, and I want them to get to know each other,’ he said heatedly. ‘Surely that isn’t too much to ask, even if you don’t want anything to do with me!’
He could have no way of knowing how far away from the truth he was. Annie had never stopped loving him, but she had always had to fend for herself up to a point and couldn’t bear the thought of giving herself to anyone.
‘Well . . . I suppose there’s no harm in them meeting and you seeing him now and again,’ she said cautiously. ‘But I don’t want Adam to get confused.’
Alex’s face set. ‘Then if that’s the case, may I bring Lucy to see him tomorrow? We don’t need to tell her who he is straight away.’ It was more than obvious to him that Annie had no interest in him, although not a day had gone by in the time they’d been apart when he hadn’t thought of her.
Without another word he rose and after nodding curtly he left, slamming the front door behind him.
‘Was that Alex I heard slam out a while ago?’ Marie asked when she came back downstairs.
Annie stuck her chin in the air and nodded. She was too proud to show how upset she was.
‘But why?’
Anie sniffed. ‘He feels I should have told him about Adam.’
‘And do you not think ’e ’as a point!’
Annie was so shocked at Marie’s reaction that her mouth gaped open. ‘B-but he was married at the time.’
‘So? Adam was still ’is child, no? Of course ’e ’ad a right to know. And what does ’e intend to do about it now? Alex is an honourable man. He will want to be involved in ’is son’s life.’
Looking mutinous, Annie crossed her arms and glared at her, but she couldn’t stop the tears that formed in her eyes and she had to blink rapidly to stop them from falling.
Seeing her distress, Marie’s stance softened.
‘Oh Annie, you are such a fool,’ she said softly.
‘You ’ave admitted to me that you care for ’im deeply yet still you ’old ’im at arm’s length when there is nothing to stop you being together.
As long as I ’ave known you, you ’ave longed to know who you were an’ where you came from and at last you do.
Your parents are lovely people and they care about you.
Yet still you insist on being stubbornly independent! ’
‘I have to make sure that I can provide for Adam,’ Annie said in her own defence.
Marie shook her head. ‘You would be comfortable financially even if you never worked again,’ she pointed out.
‘You ’ave two thriving shops, and a ’ouse back in Nuneaton all paid for.
The money you earn from them would keep you and Adam comfortably.
Yet already you are talking about taking on another business when Adam goes to school. Why?’
Annie had no answer to that and she lowered her head.
Marie stood there watching her for another minute before sadly shaking her head.
‘Just think about what you really want,’ she pleaded.
‘Surely it is to be with someone you love? And children. You are young, you could ’ave more if you wanted to.
Adam will grow up and leave the nest one day and then what will you be left with?
Will your money and your businesses keep you company in your old age? ’
Annie angrily swiped a solitary tear from her cheek and with a sigh Marie turned and walked out of the room, leaving her friend to think on what she had said.