21. 21 Gigi
21
21 GIGI
CAN'T STOP THIS THING WE STARTED
“All right, you have any other questions before I get outta here?” I fished my keys from my bag and threw it over my shoulder. Leaning an elbow on the bar, I added, “Speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Dante glanced up from the till he was counting. “I got this,” he said with a grin that matched his words exactly. “Go on, get.”
It was Dante’s first solo shift closing the bar and I felt like a mama bird pushing her baby from the nest. Would he fly or plummet to the ground? “Okay.” I backed slowly toward the exit. “You su—”
“Dammit, woman, stop asking if I’m sure.” He pinned me with his dark eyes, face stern. “You trained me. And you’re a damn good teacher. I. Got. This.”
My heart ballooned at his compliment, even as his words brought on a memory better left buried. Not that it’d been buried. No, it sat at the forefront of my mind, torturing me, taunting me. I barely slept last night, haunted with whispers of You’re a good teacher, and flashes of Parker’s lips on mine.
God, her lips.
Fire blazed in my belly as my mind replayed that kiss. Again.
She’d been so soft, so sweet, like I knew she would be. But the brazenness, I hadn’t expected. The way she crushed her mouth to mine, pushed her fingers into my hair, kissed me back. The—
“Damn, girl. Where’d you go?”
I blinked, wisps of lust dispersing. “Sorry.” I tossed a smile Dante’s way. “Guess I’m more tired than I thought.”
“All the more reason for you to get your ass out of here.” He looked pointedly at the door.
“Okay, all right.” I backed closer to the exit. “You’re right. You’ve got this.” I grabbed the handle and pulled. “You know how to reach me if you have any questions.”
“Which I won’t.” He grinned. “Goodnight, boss.”
I grinned back and exited the building, locking it behind me to prevent anyone from coming inside while he and the kitchen staff finished up. Stepping back, I placed a palm against the Heathcliff’s logo on the door. A raven in a nest of thorns. A swell of pride surged through me. We’d come so far in the last seven months or so. Vaughn and I had rebuilt the family business into something reflective of the current generation of Murphys, and it was thriving again.
It was a good feeling.
With one last fond pat against the door, I turned away. Starting up the walk, I dragged in a lungful of the crisp spring air and exhaled it in a white cloud before my face. As the cloud cleared, I caught sight of someone walking toward me. Out of habit, I tightened my grip on my bag and veered to the right to give them berth.
As they neared, however, their form took a familiar shape. A silhouette of curves and long hair. I slowed, narrowing my eyes. Had I summoned her with all my remembering? Was she really there, or was this a hallucination?
I stopped walking and watched as she approached with fast, sturdy steps. The streetlights caught the glint of her eyes, the glisten of her hair, and my lungs ached from holding my breath. Once she was close enough, I spoke. “Parker? What—”
Whatever I’d been about to ask fell from my brain as she reached me. Because without so much as a hello she thrust her fingers into my hair and pulled my mouth to hers. For the second time in as many days, Parker Samuels kissed me.
But, unlike the first time, there was nothing sweet about this kiss. Nothing hesitant. It was sure, it was seeking.
It was everything.
Winding my arms around her waist, I kissed her back, opening my mouth against hers, granting her the access she all but demanded of me. She stepped forward, backing me up until I leaned against the brick of some building or another. Her hands left my hair to trail down my face, cupping my jaw as her lips gentled on mine before, all too soon, pulling away.
I shivered and opened my eyes. Relief blossomed in my chest. She was still there. In front of me, looking like a dream with her flushed cheeks and kiss swollen lips. I reached out, laying my palm against her cheek. I hadn’t imagined her.
But…why was she here?
Leaning my head back against the wall, I narrowed my eyes, reality creeping in. Damn reality. Always ruining things. My hand fell away from her face as I forced the question from my lips. “What are you doing here?”
Parker laughed. “If you have to ask, maybe I didn’t do this right.”
My pulse quickened, hope a living thing inside my chest. I tried to tamp it down. “So…date didn’t go so good?”
Her blue eyes sought mine, searching. I could feel her heart beating against my chest, an erratic rhythm that matched my own. After a long moment only filled with our ragged breaths, clouds in the cold air between us, she answered. “She wasn’t you.”
Something inside me broke then. Shattered into a million little pieces. The restraint I’d so desperately clung to dissolved. Leaning up, I kissed her. I kissed her like she was air and I’d been drowning in the bitter cold sea. I kissed her like she was dry land.
A small sound left Parker, and then she was kissing me back. It was the cumulation of all the want, all the denial, every single moment of maybe that had passed between us from the moment we met.
Because, yeah. I had to admit to myself now, with her soft body molded against me, her lips drinking me in, that there was always something about her. Something that pulled me in, called to my wandering heart.
There was always Parker.
“Can we,” she murmured against my lips, “maybe take this somewhere else? You know, not on a very public street?”
I laughed and dropped one last kiss on her mouth. “Mine or yours?”
She pulled back and my body went cold from the loss of her heat. Her lips twisted. “Simon is probably waiting up for me, even though he said he wouldn’t. So…”
I laughed and pushed away from the wall, holding out my hand. She linked her fingers through mine and smiled a shy little smile. Lifting her hand to my lips, I kissed her knuckles. Her smile widened, and my heart damn near floated out of my chest. With one last quick kiss, I pulled her forward. “Mine it is.”
My place wasn’t far from downtown Port Agnes. Fifteen minutes, usually. Ten or less when there wasn’t much traffic.
We made it in eight.
Putting my car in park, I killed the engine and climbed out, rounding the front end to open Parker’s door for her. She looked up as the door opened, the porch light illuminating her face, and my brain went blank.
Blank. Gone were the questions I’d planned to ask once I got her here. The ones about her date with Halle, and what had happened that led her to kissing me senseless on that sidewalk. I’d tried to get them out the entire drive here, but I didn’t want to jinx this. I didn’t want to ruin it.
I didn’t want to miss out on seeing where this went.
“You okay?” she asked as she got out of the car. Her gaze turned assessing, verging on worried. “You’re not gonna run away again, are you? Because, considering we’re at your place, that could make things very awkward.”
“Ahh, shit.” I laughed, closing the car door behind her. “Now you know where I live. Clearly, I didn’t think this through.”
She joined in my laughter, craning her neck to take in our surroundings. I forced my eyes away, looking at this place from her viewpoint. Luke’s townhouse was just outside of the business district, and was all modern lines and gray brick and huge windows. It looked expensive as fuck. Probably because it was expensive as fuck.
“Geez,” she murmured, turning her blue eyes back to me. “This is fancy.”
“Right?” I linked our fingers together and led her around the back. Luke’s bedroom was in the front, and I didn’t want to wake him. “Luckily, my landlord lets me live here for a steal.” Fishing my keys from my bag, I unlocked the door and waved her inside. “Of course, it means I have to put up with his unsolicited advice and shitty taste in coffee, but what’s a girl gonna do in this economy?”
We walked into the kitchen and I flipped on the light. “You want anything?” I asked as I took my coat off and hung it in its spot next to the door. I held out my hand, indicating she do the same, and tried not to inhale the sweetness of her scent as she handed me her own coat.
I failed. Just a little bit, though.
She stood where I left her, twisting a lock of hair around her fingers. I followed the motion, my next breath lodging in my throat. “Are you nervous?” I asked, seeking my answer in her face. This was a mistake, I thought. It’s too fast. I shouldn’t have brought her home. I shou—
“What?” Her brow furrowed. “No, I’m the opposite of nervous. I’m un- nervous.” She smiled, but her fingers still wound around that piece of hair, creating what I knew would be a glossy ringlet.
“Parker.” I stepped forward, my hands covering hers. “It’s okay if you’re nervous.”
Her eyes fell to our hands, cheeks flushing. “Sorry,” she said, laughing. “I guess I’m a little nervous.”
Gently, I pulled her hands away from her hair and pressed them to my chest. She searched my face, eyes burning, and I stood there, letting her. My heart banged unevenly, like there was a tiny drunk drummer in my chest, unable to keep time. The words I wanted to say were thick in my throat. Words like, Please stay and I want you like I want my next breath.
Words like, I promise I won’t hurt you.
The last part burned like acid as I swallowed it down.
I had no intentions of hurting her. But, as I’d learned in the last few years of, well, being me, intentions were often meaningless.
My fingers tightened around hers where they still lay against my slamming heart. She looked at me with such openness, as if she had no reason to doubt. As if she could believe in me. And, fuck, did I want to deserve that.
I wanted to. But I didn’t.
“Parker,” I started, already hating myself for the words I was about to say.
“I’d like some tea,” she interrupted suddenly, whirling away from me. My mouth snapped shut as I watched her go from cupboard to cupboard, pulling things out, gathering a collection on the counter. “You want to get the water going?”
“I…” My hands dropped to my sides. I stood there, balancing on a knife’s edge. One small move in either direction, and my fate would be sealed. I knew which way I should go. In my mind, I played it through: me, telling Parker this was a bad idea. Me, driving Parker home. Me, coming back here, alone. Alone and haunted by the could have beens .
It was the right move. I knew to my bones it was the right move.
But then Parker glanced over her shoulder, the softest smile on her face, and my manic heartbeat slowed. A warmth radiated through me, like I was lying on the beach in Spain, golden sun bathing my entire body. I smiled back.
Then, I leapt off the wrong side of the blade.