Chapter 15
Back at Bridgeview Manor, Jasmine exited Linnea’s car while her roommate helped Mandy with her car seat buckle. Nathan’s truck pulled in across the lot in visitors’ parking.
She should probably get Buddy out. It was crazy how the kid had quieted down for a stranger at the hospital, but Nathan, no doubt, had things to do.
He hadn’t signed up for babysitting duty.
Neither had Jasmine, for that matter, but she was home and could give Linnea a hand entertaining the two little ones.
Before she crossed the parking lot, Nathan had already opened the back door and leaned in.
Jasmine hated to be impressed he hadn’t waited for help. She stepped closer. “Here, I’ll get him. Did he fall asleep?”
“Who you?” she heard a sleepy little voice ask.
“I’m Nathan. A friend of your daddy.”
Which wasn’t strictly true, not that Buddy spent much time with the loser who had sired him .
“Your Aunt Linnea is here in the other car with your sister. Let’s get you unbuckled and you can see them, okay?”
“Kay.”
Jasmine reached to take the child but, as Nathan turned, an awful stench reached her nostrils. Whoa. She blinked and took an involuntary step backward.
Nathan held the boy out at arms’ length, his nose wrinkled. “Anyone want a stinky kid?”
Not her. Not that she hadn’t changed her nephews’ diapers, but Buddy wasn’t her brother’s kid. She glanced around to see Linnea and Mandy approaching.
Mandy planted her hands on her hips and tilted her head to one side. “Oh, Buddy, did you poopy in your pants?”
The boy slurped his thumb into his mouth, staring at the pavement, as Nathan set him down. Instead of toddling over to his sister and Linnea, he leaned against Nathan’s leg.
Linnea sighed and held out her hand to the boy. “Come on, Buddy. Good thing your grandma gave me a couple of diapers from your mom’s purse. Let’s get you cleaned up.”
Buddy clung to Nathan’s leg. Nathan shook his head and patted the wild damp curls.
Jasmine snickered. “Looks like you’ve got yourself a shadow.”
Nathan’s gaze met hers, and his chin tipped up along with his eyebrows. He scooped Buddy up into a football hold. “Where are we going?”
He couldn’t be serious, not that Jasmine would stop him. Maybe her roommate would, though. It was Linnea who’d volunteered to watch the kids, after all. The stink was her problem. “Up three flights of stairs.”
“Lead the way.” He waggled his eyebrows.
Had she just invited him into the apartment she shared with Linnea? No way. She was keeping him at a distance, remember? Not inviting him closer. Not that this was a romantic moment by anyone’s standards. She wrenched her gaze away and reached for Mandy’s hand. “Let’s go.”
This was ridiculous. All the way up the stone outside steps, all the way up the interior flights of stairs, she heard Nathan’s footfall behind her.
He was watching her. She could feel it. And the part of her at his eye level had to be her backside.
Great. She didn’t want him staring at her backside.
She didn’t want to think about him staring at her backside.
She didn’t want to think about him at all.
Except she did.
She was curious about a man who would take a total stranger’s stinky child and carry him, for all the world like he intended to change the diaper at the other end.
No way would that happen, though. Nathan had only been angling for a look at her.
.. for a look at her apartment. She’d point him back to the door as soon as he set Buddy down, and he’d leave.
She didn’t want to be curious about him. She didn’t want to give him a second thought. She really, really hated him following her up the stairs.
Jasmine unlocked the apartment door and swept inside, holding the door for the others. Mandy ran straight across to the living room, climbed up into Jasmine’s papasan chair, and flopped back with a wide grin. Great.
Once inside, Nathan turned to Linnea. “Where’s the bathroom and, uh, a clean diaper?”
Linnea reached inside her handbag and pulled out a disposable. “Really, it’s fine. I can take him from here. I’m very grateful for your help, though, especially getting him calmed down.”
He plucked the diaper from her hand, glanced around, and strode toward the bathroom.
Jasmine leaned against the door, frowning. Seriously? He was going to change Buddy?
Linnea met her gaze. “I didn’t ask him to do that.”
“No, you didn’t. And I have no idea why he is.” Or how he could stand the rank odor. “I’ll put on some tea.” The least she could do for Nathan, really, before sending him on his way.
Tea. Didn’t that solve every problem? If not solve, at least soften?
Water gushed into the kettle, swirling in the interior much like Jasmine’s thoughts spiraled in her head. There was more to the adult Nathan than met the eye, and what met the eye was mighty fine indeed.
When and how had he become a diaper-changing toddler whisperer? What had happened in his L.A. years that he hadn’t told her?
Plenty. Because she hadn’t wanted to know. She still didn’t.
Did she?
“Yo, little guy. You reek.” Too bad Nathan didn’t have a spare hand to clamp his nose shut. He held his breath and finished up as quickly as he could while Buddy sucked his thumb and stared up at him.
With the child wiped and recovered, the toilet flushed, and the soiled disposable folded, sealed, and in the trash, Nathan washed his hands and opened the door.
Why had he volunteered? Just the look on Jasmine’s face that a woman would now take over, because he couldn’t possibly know what to do next?
He should have let her think that, because no doubt her brain was spinning now.
Buddy scrambled into the living room and threw himself at the papasan, little legs churning as he tried to climb in. Mandy gave him a shove, and he sprawled on the floor, took a deep breath, and began to scream.
Nathan shook his head and scooped the little boy up again before considering the round wicker chair. Jasmine still had that thing?
Memories. She’d curled up on his lap in that very chair so many times while they kissed and pretended to watch a movie. She’d trusted him then... until the night he’d pushed for more and she’d resisted. She’d wanted love, marriage, and a baby carriage. He’d wanted her . No strings attached.
The shriek of a teakettle jolted him back to the present, and he whirled toward the kitchen, a quieter Buddy in his arms.
Jasmine’s back was to him as she turned off the element and lifted the kettle. The shrill whistle faded.
Those days were long gone. He’d had his chance with her and lost it.
Even if he hadn’t been a horny kid, they were all wrong back then.
Too young. They’d never have made it. He’d done her a favor when he left for California.
He’d made plenty of mistakes before and after, but leaving her had been the right thing to do.
“Want a cup of tea? I have fireweed, nettle, or—” Jasmine peered into the cupboard “—dandelion. Bergamot.”
“No, I, uh... promised to meet Jason to shoot some hoops after my meeting with Dan. Sorry.” Okay, he wasn’t really sorry.
She took her foraging a bit far. He’d wager a guess she didn’t have any black or green tea on hand, much less coffee.
Besides — he glanced at his watch — it was true.
His brother was likely waiting impatiently for him to call by now.
He disentangled Buddy and set the child down, but the little guy’s arms tightened around his knee. It had been cute half an hour ago, but he couldn’t very well play one-on-one with this sort of handicap.
Nathan pulled out his phone. Sure enough, there’d been a message from Jason a bit ago. He texted back. Meet you in ten?
A single letter constituted the return text. K .
“I didn’t think you really knew Jason at all.” Jasmine eyed him across the peninsula from the kitchen.
“I don’t. But he’s still my half-brother, and he didn’t ask for his life to be this way.
I mean, the divorce of his parents, the death of his mother, and now he’s back with Pops who’s dying of a liver disease.
No wonder he gets in trouble.” He met her gaze.
“Reminds me a bit of myself at that age. Maybe I can give him some grounding.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Before you decide to leave Bridgeview in your rearview mirror again?”
“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not going anywhere. I’m not some sort of fly-by-night guy, no matter what you think.” He’d ignore the string of girlfriends in L.A. for the moment. “I’ve got several clients besides Bridgeview Backyards and the bistro. I’m sure I’ll sign on Ranta Landscaping—”
“Is that why you gave Dan a ride?”
Why was she so prickly? “No, I gave him a ride because I happened to be there, and I’m a decent human being.”
“And the diaper?”
Nathan shifted around the small table to face her, dragging the little boy with every step. He planted both hands on the counter between them and looked her in the eye. “Out of the goodness of my heart.”
“Some experience there? Is there something you haven’t bothered to mention yet? Like, that you have a kid or three in California?”
He took a deep breath and expelled it. “Not to my knowledge.”
Jasmine’s lips drew into a tight line.
“But, to be completely honest—”
“Always the best policy.”
“—I did live with a woman with two kids for several months. I’ve changed a few diapers.” He held up both hands. “She got back with her ex.”
Jasmine closed her eyes and turned away. “Nathan, I can’t even...”
“Can’t even what?”
“Why did you come back? You’ve ruined your life, and now you’re messing with mine.”
She had no idea how badly he’d ruined his, but she was certainly messing with his right now. His mind, his heart, all of him was tangled back into her hands. “Jasmine?”
“What?” She didn’t look at him.
“I’ve screwed up many ways, many times. I’m not going to pretend otherwise.
I wouldn’t fool you or anyone else. But you know something?
” He didn’t wait for an answer. “God is bigger than that. Jesus’ death covered it all.
I came to the foot of the cross and asked His forgiveness.
I asked Him to take away the old me and make me something new. ”
Jasmine’s eyes opened. She sucked in her lower lip as she studied his face.
Nathan spread his hands. “He’s done that. Or, I should say, I’m a work in progress. But it’s real. I didn’t do it for you or to whitewash myself. I knew I needed God. I needed direction. Purpose. Forgiveness.”
What was going on behind those velvety brown eyes? What was she looking for on his face? Would he know when she found it?
Buddy plopped onto the floor and leaned against Nathan’s leg. Maybe he could give the little guy a basketball and let him toddle around the court. He and Jason could dodge around him, couldn’t they? Good practice. Nathan scooped the boy onto one hip.
“I didn’t come back to Spokane for you, Jasmine.
I thought we were over years ago. I came back because I needed closure, like with Pops.
It was time.” He held her gaze. Should he reach for her hands?
They weren’t so far away, pressed together on the other edge of the counter. “I’ll tell you something, though.”
Her eyebrows rose slightly.
“I left you before, and there’s no way to show you how very sorry I am to have hurt you so deeply. But, if you give me a chance, I’ll never leave you again.”
Jasmine’s breath caught.
“Believe me. I’ve wasted enough time. I wasn’t ready then, but I am now.” Seriously, his mouth should stop moving, but the intensity of her gaze propelled him to keep talking until she said something. Preferably something like, “I forgive you, and I’m ready, now, too.”
Because, even though he’d never allowed himself to think all the things he’d just said to her, he meant every one of them. He’d love her with everything in him for the rest of their lives, if she only allowed him to.
He cupped his hand over hers on the faded countertop. “I know you said you’d forgive me, but is it possible for you take it a step further? Is there room for me in your heart?”
“I’ve tried to get you out of there for eight years, Nathan Hamelin. It never worked. Not completely.”
Nathan felt the warmth from her hands seep into his. Watched her gaze soften as her lips curved in a rueful smile.
Not breaking eye contact, he set Buddy on the counter and barricaded him with one arm. His other hand lifted to Jasmine’s face, tracing her jaw. His thumb skimmed her lip, but he wanted more. He leaned over and brushed his lips over hers for one electrifying moment.
At least this time she didn’t shove him away. Far from it. Her hands caught in his hair as she kissed him back.
“Ew. Smooching.”
Mandy’s voice and Buddy’s squirming pulled Nathan back to the small apartment. Amusement lit Jasmine’s eyes as they held his.
Smooching indeed. “Later?” he whispered.
She nodded slightly, sucking in those pink lips. “Now about that tea.”
He grinned. “I’m headed for the basketball court under the bridge to meet my brother. Want me to take Buddy? Maybe the rest of you can come down to the playground after you’ve had your tea.”
Her eyebrows quirked upward. “Playground? I can take you on shooting hoops any day of the week.”
“Is that so? You might have to prove it.”
“You’re so on.”
He liked the sound of that.