Chapter 22
Someone slipped into the seat next to Nathan at the back of the courtroom. He glanced over and did a double-take. “Dan?”
Dan Ranta jerked his chin toward the front, where Basil sat alone in front of the judge.
Well, alone other than the clan arrayed in the front rows.
If it hadn’t been for the sight of Jasmine’s long dark hair between her mother and Alex, Nathan might’ve sat with them, but he couldn’t be sure of his welcome.
“Figures his old man will probably bail him out.” Dan scowled and slumped in his seat. “He’s a golden Santoro, after all.”
“I don’t think that’s why they’re all here. They’re here because they love Basil, even though he blew it.”
“There’s some things that are pretty hard to forgive.”
Nathan quit trying to hear the proceedings at the front of the room. He angled toward the other man. “Yeah?”
“I can’t believe Dixie went out with him. What kind of lies did he feed her? She’s with me. ”
The Dixie Nathan had seen that morning at the market looked like she’d fed herself the lies. Maybe fed them to Basil, too, though he was a grown man and had made his own choices.
Nathan chose his words carefully. “I imagine things are a bit tense around your place these days.”
“Oh, man, you have no idea.”
No, but he could guess.
“I came so close to kicking her out, but she’d take my baby. I can’t do that to Henry. He’s just started really smiling. He’s gonna be a cutie.”
“That does make things more complicated.”
Dan growled an expletive under his breath. “Mandy and Buddy are good kids, too. They don’t deserve a mother like her, but I’d have no right to them if we split. I don’t wanna be like their deadbeat dads, you know?”
Lord? What do you want me to say to this hurting man?
“It’s all his fault.” Dan pointed at Basil. “What’s he got that I don’t?”
A thousand thoughts chased through Nathan’s mind, but which of them — if any — should he voice? Dan sat beside him for a reason. No doubt about it.
“There’s no way my old man would be in the room if I had a DUI, I can tell you that. He’d curse me, then he’d kill me, and then he’d disown me. Well, maybe he’d come to laugh when they hauled me off in handcuffs.”
“Is that why you’re here? To see that Basil gets his due?”
“Yeah. That’ll teach him to go picking up attached women.”
Nathan took a deep breath. “You know, I’ve been learning a lot about mercy the last while. My dad would have reacted like yours, I think. If he’d even noticed. ”
“Listen, I heard your old man kicked the bucket. Sorry about that.”
“We sure can’t count on our biological fathers, can we?
” Nathan poked his chin toward the front.
“But God’s a different kind of father, more like Ray Santoro.
Someone who just keeps loving his kids, no matter what.
Not condoning the mess they’ve made, not rubbing his hands for justice, just… loving.”
Dan shook his head. “Now you’re sounding like my sister and her fiancé. Man, Logan keeps talking to me about God. Not sure what the Big Guy has ever done for me.”
“Created you. Loved you. Offered opportunities for you to have a relationship with Him, so you can find out what being a father is really all about. Loving no matter what, always.”
“I don’t know. I’m pretty sure God doesn’t want me. I’m not good enough for Him. Now if I’d been born a Santoro, maybe, but a Ranta? Not so much.”
“I felt that way, too. Being a Hamelin hasn’t been so great, either. Trust me, I’ve been where you are, but that stuff doesn’t matter to God. He really just loves us, no matter who we are, where we’ve been, what we’ve done. He doesn’t play favorites.”
“I don’t get it. Makes no sense.”
“I know. It’s kind of hard to wrap our brains around God.
He’s not like us. He’s so big. Made the universe and all.
Made humanity. All He really wants is for us to turn to Him of our own free will and be sorry for thumbing our noses at Him for so long and doing our own thing.
Just saying thank You to Him and accepting His grace. His love.”
A gavel pounded at the front of the room.
Nathan and Dan both turned. Silence clung to the court room. Time suspended as the judge narrowed his gaze at Basil and contemplated his sentence.
“Thirty days in jail. Two years driver’s license revocation. Eighteen hundred dollars fine. My decision is final.”
Dan’s head jerked in a tight nod. “Good, though I was hoping for more time in the lockup.”
Nathan had been hoping for less. Would jail make Basil a better man, or a bitter man? It depended on Basil. All Nathan could do was pray, just like his friend’s family would be doing. “Our world needs justice, but it also needs mercy.”
Dan pulled to his feet. “Yeah, I don’t know. I think it needs justice more. Good talking to you, man. See you around.” He slammed his baseball cap to his head and headed for the exit.
Nathan should follow him. Shouldn’t still be here when Jasmine and her family left the building, but he couldn’t move. His longing to see her again would not be denied. It was a good sign she’d attended Basil’s sentencing. Did it mean she was starting to forgive her brother?
Nathan could only hope.
Jasmine slid her backpack purse straps over her shoulders then froze. How had she not even noticed Nathan at the back of the courtroom? And was that Dan Ranta heading out the door?
Alex’s elbow gently prodded her. “You should go talk to him.”
She pulled away. “Stop pushing me. ”
“If not now, when?”
“I said—”
“And I heard you. Seriously, Jas. Putting it off isn’t going to make it easier.”
“Not having an audience would make it easier.”
Alex’s eyebrows rose. “You’ve had the better part of a week to find him on his own, and you haven’t done it.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Jasmine glanced toward the door again. Nathan sat with his hands clasped on top of the seat back in front of him, head bowed. Praying?
And here she was supposed to be the strong one.
The one in touch with God. She’d been raised in the church, after all.
She’d said her prayers every night and twice on Sunday.
And, yes, she knew there was more than that to being a Christian.
Alex was right. She’d forgiven Basil days ago, though sometimes it was a struggle to remember it.
Why was it so difficult to acknowledge her bad attitude to Nathan and ask his forgiveness?
His head lifted, and his gray eyes met hers from clear across the room. He wore a gray button-down with a black tie, and every hair on his head was gelled to perfection. He looked good. So good.
She swallowed hard and offered a tentative smile.
The lines of his face softened, and his mouth quirked up on one side. Those gray eyes warmed.
He was still waiting for her. He wouldn’t push her away.
Alex’s elbow caught her ribs.
“Stop it,” she muttered under her breath, but her legs had started moving, edging past her brother, her eyes unwilling to relinquish sight of Nathan for even an instant lest he prove to be a mirage.
A moment later she slid into the seat beside him. Warmth from his body beckoned her closer, and so did the musk of his cologne. “Hey,” she whispered.
“Hi, Jasmine.”
The way he said her name, so quietly, so lovingly, settled over her with peace.
She tightened her hands together on her lap until her knuckles turned white.
“I want you to know I’m sorry. You were right all along.
I needed to forgive Basil, and I’ve done that.
He’s paying a high price for his actions — no more than he deserves, granted — but it’s not my place to hold it against him.
I’m his sister, not his keeper, not his judge or jury. ”
Nathan’s hand covered hers and rubbed gently, the calluses on his palms from hoeing in the gardens catching her skin.
He’d kept on working, stepping in even when she didn’t want him, helping maintain Bridgeview Backyards while they waited to hear Basil’s sentence.
Now they’d need to make decisions on how to manage without Basil.
Figured he’d go to jail in the busiest part of the summer.
No, she was done blaming her brother. She could acknowledge his stupidity without judging him as a human being. It would take some practice.
She turned her hand under Nathan’s and clutched his, palm to palm.
“You’re forgiven,” he said quietly. “I’ve done dumb things, too. I see a lot of similarities between Basil and me.”
Jasmine tried to pull her hand away, but his grip tightened.
“I slept with women. I was filled with my own ego. I drank too much.” Nathan’s free hand lifted her chin until her gaze met his.
“I have a DUI on my record and served time. It was a huge wakeup call to me. I pray that it will do the same for Basil. From what he’s said to me in the past few days, I think it might be having that effect. ”
She’d known some of it, guessed at other parts. Could she let Nathan’s past stay there? Believe that he had changed? Trust God for a future untainted by echoes of the past?
“Thank you for telling me.” She tightened her fingers around his. “You’ve asked God’s forgiveness — you told me so. And I know He gives it every time.”
His hand caressed her jaw even as his eyes held hers captive.
“He gives it. Every time. I’m just a man, Jasmine.
I can’t promise perfection in the future, but there are some promises I can make with no hesitation.
I promise you I will remember happiness cannot be found at the bottom of a bottle.
If I hadn’t learned that two years ago, I learned it from watching Pops die from years of being an alcoholic. ”
Jasmine nodded slightly. She parted her lips to offer her sympathy, but his finger rested across her mouth.
“I promise I can be loyal to one woman for the rest of my life. No question. There is only one woman I love, have ever loved, and she is you.”
“I love you, Nathan.”
The lights in the room dimmed, and Nathan chuckled as he surged to his feet, pulling her with him. “Looks like a hint for us to leave.”
How had she not even noticed everyone else — her family — filing past them out the door? And Basil… was he in custody now? She should have been paying attention.
Nathan’s lips brushed down her jawline, causing a tremble through her entire body. “Do you have a bit more time?” he murmured against her ear. “We could walk down by the river.”
“I can take as long as you want.” The rest of her life was totally an option.