Chapter Six
Lily sat silently in Katherine’s passenger seat, watching the city fly by outside the window.
Her city. She’d been born here, grown up here.
She hadn’t even left the state of California until last year, when she and her mom had flown to Pennsylvania for a second cousin’s wedding.
She’d been shocked at how spread out everything was.
In Los Angeles, everyone was on top of each other.
She could see down every street they drove by, could watch as people walked their dogs, threw out their trash, checked to make sure their cars were parked close enough to the curb.
Scenes she’d watched every day for her whole life, and suddenly she felt like she didn’t recognize any of them.
They hadn’t spoken since they got in Katherine’s car, the silence punctuated only by the occasional instructions from Katherine’s GPS. They merged onto the highway, and the side roads vanished away, replaced by the spinning sameness of the city at ninety miles an hour.
“I’m taking you back to my place,” Katherine offered. “Tomorrow we’ll go to Aestas.”
Lily knew she should respond—ask what Aestas was, what she would do there—but she couldn’t muster the words. Her brain was like the world flying by outside, so many thoughts fighting each other for space that it was difficult to grab onto one individually.
“Aestas is my coven. I’m a witch. Just like you.”
Lily let out a short laugh. That, at least, crystallized as absolutely ridiculous. Lily was still coming to terms with the idea that this power might be magic, but having magic didn’t make her a witch. Witches were for money-grabbing tourist traps and cheesy TV shows.
“Right. I guess I missed your pointy hat and broomstick.”
“We’re not those kind of witches,” Katherine said. Lily laughed again at the idea that this woman was delusional enough to have types for her imaginary creatures. “You’re not going to catch any of us cackling, and we don’t use wands or anything.”
“Bummer.” Lily turned to look at Katherine. Her eyes were itchy from crying and her face felt puffy. If what Katherine said was true and she was a witch, could she take care of that? Use her magic—actual freaking magic—to turn herself from a scrawny kid into a supermodel with a flick of her wrist?
“So what, then? Do I just point my finger and say abracadabra and I get anything I want?”
“Kind of.”
For a brief, shining moment, Lily was filled with the happiness of possibility, the excitement that came with a door opening to a whole new world. But then, the door slammed shut again, the thought of all that that world brought with it rendering the thrill moot.
“Well, I didn’t want to hurt my brother. But that happened anyway.”
Katherine bit her lip. Lily wondered if Katherine was scared of her.
Her power had calmed from a scream to a whisper, but she knew it was still stalking nearby, waiting for her to slip up and let it free again.
Katherine said she had this magic too. That she’d learned to control it.
A few years ago, Lily would have believed her.
She would never have questioned that an adult had the solution to what was bothering her, no matter how difficult.
But growing up is a lesson in finding out again and again and again that adults also have no clue what they’re doing.
Finally, Katherine said, “It feels like you’re going to crack, right?”
“Yeah. Like all my blood is trying to escape my body.”
“It’s because your magic just came in. It’s all coming up at once. It’s overwhelming.”
Lily’s breath flew out in a quick rush. “Yeah,” she said, her tone making it clear that she meant no shit.
“Your magic right now is what we call ‘unsettled,’” Katherine continued.
“Because you were born to non-magical parents and are the first of your line, your magic is incredibly strong. Strong enough that it has a will of its own. One that’s not bound by the same rules as the magic of kids whose parents are witches. ”
“Never thought I’d actually want rules,” Lily muttered.
“You’ll get them,” Katherine said. “In a few years, usually around eighteen or nineteen, your magic will settle, like the rest of us. Your power will be much calmer and easier to handle, and you’ll get to join our coven.”
And be a witch, a word that was sounding less and less fake by the second.
“If you don’t use wands, how do you do magic?”
“We use spellbooks. And blood.”
Lily stared at Katherine, her mouth agape. “Blood? From like, animals?”
“No, your own blood.”
That made Lily’s jaw drop even further. “Like, by cutting yourself? You’re not supposed to cut yourself.”
“I know,” Katherine said. “Unfortunately, settled magic does require your blood, but we only cut the palms of our hands. The coven runs support groups to help any witches struggling with self-harm. We don’t fuck around with mental health. If you need help, the resources are there.”
They stopped at a light, and Katherine reached into her pocket and pulled out a knife, handing it to Lily.
“That’s called a caster.”
“No.” Lily flicked out the blade. “That’s called a switchblade. And I’m pretty sure it’s illegal.”
“Okay, yes, it’s a switchblade,” Katherine admitted. “But it was given to me by my mentor, Sylvia, the head of Aestas. We blessed it, and now it’s the knife that I use whenever I need to cut myself to do magic.”
“So you can’t just use a steak knife?”
“I could. But magic is a special, beautiful thing. We use our casters to honor the gift we’ve been given. Once you’re settled, you’ll be given a caster too.”
Witches, covens, casters. The new terms swirled around Lily’s head. She felt like she was cramming for a test she had no hope of passing.
“And until then, I … what? Try not to let myself get even a little annoyed so I don’t accidentally maul anyone?”
Lily set Katherine’s caster down in the cupholder.
It clanked against something. Lily pulled out the string of colorful plastic beads—a friendship bracelet that had never been looped off.
She wrapped it around her fingers, cutting off her circulation, letting the sensation ground her in this unreal moment.
“Until then, you work on learning to control your power. We have a special training site set up for kids like you in Oak Grove, near the Sequoia National Forest. Our staff there has been training unsettled witches for years. Helping them control their powers so that they can be around people without worrying about snapping.”
Lily’s gaze stayed glued to her hands. “Is that what I did to my brother?”
“Yes. I’m guessing you’ve been feeling hints of the power recently, right?” Lily nodded, and Katherine continued, “It was starting to form in you, and then you had a moment of strong emotion and it came out. Unfortunately, those snaps usually happen in the worst possible way.”
“How long is it going to take me to learn how to control it?”
“A year or two.”
A year or two. Lily thought of all that would change in that time. Her friends would forget about her. She’d fall hopelessly behind in class, lose her positions in all her clubs. A year or two? She might as well disappear for good.
She wrapped the beads tighter as she tried not to cry in front of this stranger. “Can’t you take it out?”
“I’m sorry,” Katherine said softly. “I wish I could.”
Katherine pulled into the garage of an apartment complex, shutting off the car before turning to look at Lily.
“I promise you, this is all going to be okay. This isn’t the end of your life. Think of it as a new beginning.”
“I don’t want a new beginning.”
Katherine rubbed her hand over Lily’s back. “Neither did I.”
Lily gathered herself, sucking in a breath and forcing it all down. And then she got out of the car, letting the door fall shut behind her.
A loud meow greeted them as Katherine opened her apartment door.
“Sorry,” Katherine said. “I should have asked earlier—are you okay with cats?”
Lily nodded. She hadn’t spoken since they left the car, but she’d at least stopped looking like she was fighting back tears, which Katherine took as a win for now.
The beads were still wrapped around her fingers.
Katherine and Fiona had made the mismatched chain a few months earlier, when Katherine had been having a particularly bad night that Fiona decided could only be cured by a spontaneous drunken craft extravaganza.
That, Katherine reminded herself, was what Lily could have now. A life. A chance.
Katherine walked inside, her legs immediately getting attacked by an orange ball of fluff.
“I know, Cheezy. I’m late for dinner. I’m the worst mom in the history of existence.” Cheez-It meowed loudly again, not denying her claim.
“This is Cheez-It,” Katherine said to Lily. “Quite possibly the most dramatic cat in all of catdom.” As if trying to prove her right, Cheez-It did a wide twirl, then sat down right on top of Lily’s feet. “Who has apparently decided to hold you hostage until I feed him. Give me a sec.”
Katherine walked to the side of her living room that passed as a kitchen.
She had a full fridge, but no oven or stove, which was fine for her—as long as she had a microwave to zap her takeout, she was set.
She reached into the mostly bare cabinet and pulled out a can of wet food.
Cheez-It freed Lily, running to his bowl as she dumped it out.
She gave him a pat on his head, then headed to the couch. Lily sat down beside her.
“Is he a magical cat?” Lily asked.
Katherine chuckled. “He wishes. No, he’s just a regular, needy little monster who decided to pop up and give me something to live for when I first got to LA.”
“When you were unsettled.”