Chapter 24
Illusion Square was packed, and I was a sweaty mess.
I stood amidst the smartly dressed housewives, looking like a drowned nutria.
Sweat ran down my back like a waterfall.
The gleaming surfaces at Books and Brew reflected my blotchy red face and haggard hair from every angle, as if I needed the reminder of how I looked.
And I ached. Every part of my body protested my rash decision. My shoulders were nothing more than a series of tight knots. My knees locked up with every step. My legs were wobbly noodles.
So much for a leisurely stroll and a refreshing afternoon at the stores. I was going to guzzle iced tea then slink back to the House for a bath and a nap.
I thanked the woman behind the counter and held the cool glass to my head. It wasn’t Ana, but the aquamarine-eyed beauty had that same look. It rang of knowledge and left me unsteady. When I turned toward the door, Lauren caught my eye and waved from her table in the far corner.
Of course she looked like that. Her cute blond ponytail shone, her perfect makeup looked freshly applied, and she sported one of those luxury brand athletic dresses that accented every angle of her perfect body.
She beckoned me over with a genuine smile that reminded me we weren’t in high school anymore. We were on a path to friendship. And I didn’t have to knock another woman down just because she was pretty or put together. Just because the world was petty didn’t mean I needed to be.
She wasn’t alone at the table. A man sat across from her with his back to me. She said something to him as I approached, and though I couldn’t see him, his broad shoulders tensed under the flow of his salt-and-pepper hair.
Hair I recognized. Hair that made my heart hammer all the way into my toes and my stomach churn like it was making spoiled ice cream.
Lauren reached across her table and patted his hand. It was friendly, not flirty, but an odd stab of jealousy burned my throat. I grabbed a stack of napkins, dabbing sweat off my neck and forehead, literally squeezing it out of my hair before it dripped to the floor.
“Simone! I’m so glad to see you outside the Magnolia. Did you have a good run?” She gestured toward the empty chair between her and her companion. “Join us!”
Her words were chipper, but there was a clear thread of nerves weaved into her tone.
“It was a good run, thanks. I’m kind of a mess. I’d planned a walk, but you know how plans go.”
My mind was frantically trying to work up an excuse not to join them at the table. But anything I might have said died on my lips when her companion turned to face me.
He held a frozen smile so tight his lips trembled with it. His green eyes locked onto mine and held me captive. My mind, in a panic, begged me to flee. But the intensity of his gaze rooted me to the spot.
This was more than a stomach churn. This was more than a vague sensation of nausea or the desire to ruin shoes. My stomach flipped upside down, turned eight cartwheels in succession, and spun in dizzying circles.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t speak.
I no longer cared how I looked or who was with us.
The world around me fell away, transporting me back to the summer after high school and the boy who’d shattered my heart to pieces.
The boy who was now a man. With the brightest, clearest green eyes I’d ever seen.
Eyes that had haunted my dreams for years.
The eyes of my wolf.
Of course it was him. No one had ever or would ever have that pull on me.
“Simone? You remember Ray Chase?” Lauren was either smoother than silk or the queen of cluelessness.
Had I thought she was nervous moments earlier?
Either way, I was grateful she could normalize the space.
“Really, neither of us minds that you’re fresh off a workout. We’ve all been there. Have a seat!”
My brain went on autopilot, and my body betrayed me. I took the seat she’d extended, trying to ignore the way my thighs stuck to the metal chair. I’d have to peel myself off when I stood up. I might stay here until the Square emptied so no one had to witness that mayhem.
“How have you been?” Ray was talking to me. His full, wide lips were moving, and he was chatting casually.
As if we’d been nothing more than acquaintances who said goodbye at graduation.
As if I hadn’t seen him in wolf form and longed to throw my arms around him.
As if he hadn’t stolen a piece of me thirty years ago.
“I’m great!” Was that my voice? Was that me sounding chipper and squeaky and lying?
“Well, I’ve been okay.” I took a sip of tea to steady myself. This was ridiculous. It had been thirty years. I wasn’t a hormonal young adult lusting after the star quarterback, all moody and broken from his injury and needy and sexy and …
“I’ve had a tumultuous few weeks. But before that, things were pretty smooth.” I choked out a laugh to soften my throat at my blatant lie. “How have the last thirty years treated you? I trust you’ve recovered?”
A shadow darkened his eyes. Either because I’d brought up the injury that ruined his football career or the memory of the time we’d been together. I didn’t care either way. I hadn’t intended it to be such a loaded question.
Not really. Not when the questions I wanted to ask were far deeper and painful. But I couldn’t say any of that out loud. Not with Lauren here or in a public setting.
We’d kept our relationship quiet, enjoying each other and hiding away from the world that, inevitably, was going to bring us back to reality. Lauren had been with Ethan, and they’d all been friends. I was on the outskirts.
Until the injury. Ethan failed to block a tackle, Ray was injured, and their friendship ruptured.
Ray, in his pain, had turned to me. I, in my pain over my mother’s sudden death, had needed him. I’d kept my time with Ethan a secret, not that I needed to. We weren’t dating.
All of that was thirty-years ago. Surely, he was over it?
I was.
I rubbed at my throat as Lauren tried to smooth the tension at the table. So now even thinking a lie affected my body? Dude.
“It still gives me trouble, believe it or not.” Ray smiled across the table at Lauren in a way that totally didn’t make me see red. “My physical therapist has been working with me since I came back. She’s got great hands.”
Lauren flinched on my behalf at the unfortunate wording. Ray’s thick brows furrowed. Even with my eyes fixed on my iced tea, I caught the subtle shake of her head. Were they a thing? She’d said she preferred to be alone. Maybe she’d lied to protect my feelings.
“Ray owns Lone Wolf Sentries,” Lauren said to break the silence. “He started it, what, fifteen years ago?”
“Closer to twenty,” Ray said. “Almost as soon as I returned.”
My blood chilled. It had to be a coincidence. Twenty years ago was around the time Agatha’s ward was supposed to wear off. It was when I was supposed to come home.
My heart would not let me believe he came back for me. No matter how badly I wanted to.
“I envy both of you for your travels. I never left.” Lauren propped her chin on her hands. “I mean, I went to New Orleans for college with Ethan—sorry, Ray—but as soon as we split up I was right back here. I wouldn’t mind seeing more of the world.”
There was something so likable about this version of Lauren that I couldn’t help but smile with her.
She meant it, and she was truly not saying anything in a way that indicated she was trying to dredge up the past. My gut believed her—that she had changed after high school, had realized what she’d been like, and had done some growing up.
I wondered how much of that had to do with her split from Ethan.
But why had she apologized to Ray after mentioning Ethan? Were they still on the outs? I didn’t remember much about the game that caused his injury. Ethan had missed a tackle, but that could happen to anyone. Was there something more to it?
“There’s still time for travel and shenanigans,” Ray told Lauren.
“Absolutely,” I said. I wanted to be part of the conversation, to stop the never-ending stream of chatter my brain was throwing at me. “The world isn’t going anywhere.”
The rest of the conversation flowed by with a detached sense of three people catching up on thirty years of mayhem. I did get out of them that Ray had never married and Ethan was clearly a sore topic of conversation.
But little more. After fifteen minutes that felt like fifteen years, the combined adrenaline of my stupid decision to exercise and bumping into my ex wore off. Bone-tired and soul-weary, I peeled myself off the seat.
“Well, it was good to see you both, but I need to get prepared for the week.” Ray rose with me, taking my hand in his. I wanted to yank it away; I wanted to shrink from the heat of his touch. Instead, I stayed perfectly still.
“It was so good to see you again, Simone. You look fantastic.” Heat transferred from his hands to mine, burning me to my core. His thumb stroked my fingers, lingering in place when I pulled my hand away.
“You, too.” I tore my gaze from his to smile at Lauren. “It’s good to see both of you.”
It took all that I had not to scurry out the door. I might have run home had my body chosen that moment to remind me I was pushing fifty.
My hips throbbed. My knees ached. Some weird, shooting pain ran the length of my foot, from big toe to thigh.
But dammit, I would not hobble home. Unshed tears threatened me, building pressure so intense I bit my lip to keep them at bay. I was not going to collapse in Illusion Square. I just couldn’t.
Ray’s eyes were on me. I didn’t have to turn to know that. His stare was fire on the back of my neck.
I stopped at the Mighty Oak, lowering myself to the concrete bench protecting its trunk.
I ran my fingers in the crisp, cool water surrounding it, fixing my eyes on the compass rose.
The compass rose made of the same concrete as the bench, with dust like glitter that shimmered when light filtered through the oak’s branches.
This was too much. Another case of moving forward only to be pushed back. Was nothing in my past what I thought it was? I tried to remain calm. To remind myself that I had a list back at the house, that I still had a plan, and that Ray being back in town did not change my plan.
He was still watching me. I had to leave. To gather the strength to stand up and go back to the Magnolia so I could recover without being seen.
The leaves of the Mighty Oak bristled. There was no wind, but a cold blast of air coated me.
It caused ripples in the water, vibrations that seemed to affect the flecks of silver.
As I watched, they gathered in the center, forming an arrow pointing north.
Away from the entrance to Illusion Square.
Toward the small path in the forest that led God knows where.
I was on my feet again. Each step was a thousand tiny hammers to my body. I ignored it, crossing Illusion Square in the direction of the arrow. I didn’t know where I was going, but when magical specks of dust point you somewhere, you go.
That’s just sound logic.
Before I knew it, Illusion Square faded into the distance, and I was on a path to nowhere in the narrow but dense forest at its border.