Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter
Twenty-Five
“Her family will need a moment.”
The soft voice of the hospice nurse is accompanied by a gentle tug on my arm. “Please collect your things and remove the magical barrier.”
Even with my heavy heart, I know he’s right.
There isn’t anything else for me to do here.
Nothing that can help Elle as she slumps down into her chair and buries her face in Willa’s mattress and cries.
In another universe, one where this thing between Elle and me wasn’t so new and fragile, I could help comfort her.
But her mom is already at her side, and there’s nowhere for me to be.
With the help of a refraction sigil to keep myself as unobtrusive as possible, I dissolve the containment circle surrounding the room and collect the crystals I’d set out to make Willa’s spirit visible.
The hospice nurse ushers me out of the room, his movements firm but not unkind, and then he’s on the phone, calling whoever you’re supposed to call after a patient dies at home.
I make my way to the front of the house and sink into the sofa.
As the soft cushions support my weight, the implications of the night settle around me.
I was mentally prepared to arrive late or for something to go wrong with my magic.
It didn’t occur to me that Willa wouldn’t want to stay on this side of the veil.
It should have, given the number of ghosts I met the past few weeks who wanted to move on rather than move into Midnight Manor, but it didn’t.
Eriksons don’t let things slip, Perpetua.
You have disgraced this family for the last time. You—
I shake the memories away. This is not the same.
Elle is not the same as Nanette. Elle knows who I am.
She knows that I did everything I could.
That I’m the only one who had any chance of pulling this off.
Elle will understand that this was Willa’s choice.
That I couldn’t have done anything different.
As the adrenaline of the night fades, exhaustion settles in my bones.
Eventually, headlights slow in front of the house, and then there’s a gentle knock.
With everyone else occupied, I answer the door and find an older white man on the porch dressed in a gray suit, maroon dress shirt, and black bowler hat.
He’s easily six foot three, and his face is covered with a white beard that’s streaked through with bits of dark brown, like a piece of howlite.
The man offers me a pleasant smile. “I’m Donald. From the funeral home. I’m here to collect Willa.”
“Right. Of course.” I step aside to make room. “Come on in.”
Donald steps inside, followed by a woman closer to my age who maneuvers a stretcher into the house. I guide them toward Willa’s room, but the hospice nurse meets me halfway and takes over the tour, speaking in hushed tones with the funeral director.
My wait begins again, nerves and exhaustion making my eyelids heavy.
I consider casting a vitality sigil, but until I know what else the night has in store, I don’t want to waste the magic.
Or overdo that particular sigil like I did…
god, was it only a few days ago? It feels like a lifetime since I was traveling the state, looking for ghosts to ensure Sloane’s investment in Midnight Manor.
An investment that was supposed to be Willa’s new home.
Murmured voices come closer, and I pull myself back to my feet as the stretcher comes into view. A sheet covers Willa’s body as the procession of her family walks her to the front door. I hurry to open it for them and silently stand sentry as they exit.
My gaze lingers over Elle, taking in all the signs of her grief. The bloodshot eyes and tear-swollen face. The way she clings to herself, arms wrapped tight around her ribs. When Elle sees me standing by the door, she falls still as the rest of the group continues outside into the dark night.
“You’re here.”
Her surprise stings. “Of course I am. I told you, whatever you need, I’ve got you.”
Elle nods, staring out into the driveway, where the stretcher is navigating between cars to the hearse.
“Do you want me to drive you back to the B&B?”
“I’m going to stay with my mom tonight.” Elle drags her attention back to me, but she can’t hold my gaze for more than a moment before she’s staring at her feet. “Maybe for a few nights. I don’t know. There’s a lot to do. I told Viv I’d help with the funeral. Help watch Parker and Holly.”
“Can I call Xander for you? I know it’s not much, but that’ll be one less thing on your plate.” I wait for my words to sink in, to make an impact, but Elle seems lost in her head. Lost in her grief and her expanding to-do list. “Ellie?”
I reach out to brush my fingers along her arm, but she jerks away from me like my touch is poison.
“Sorry. It’s not you.” Elle’s assurances fall flat as she steps farther away. “I can call Alex myself. I need to check in on the retreat anyway.”
“Are you sure?” I offer her a half smile as my insides twist with nerves. “Xander is plenty charming. I’m sure he’ll be fine handling Sloane and Sebastian on his own.”
“Willa—” Her voice cracks, and she tries again. “My niece is gone, but the business is still my responsibility.”
“Ellie…”
“It’s getting late, and you have a long drive.” She glances out the front door in time to see the back door to the hearse slam shut. “You should go.”
I know a dismissal when I hear one. When I promised to give Elle whatever she needed tonight, I didn’t expect that to include space. But if that’s what she wants, I can give her that, too.
The hearse pulls away. The hospice nurse speaks with Ted and Vivian before climbing into his car. After so much waiting, everything seems to happen all at once.
“Can I call you tomorrow?” I ask, turning back to Elle. “I can bring up food for you and your family. Help with any arrangements.”
“Actually…” Elle releases the death grip she has on her ribs to swipe the tears from her face. “I think it’d be better if you didn’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“We had fun together. But…maybe that’s all it was meant to be.”
I hold on tighter to the door, afraid that if I let go, I’ll crumble. “What are you saying?”
She shakes her head, fresh tears making a sparkling path down her cheeks. They pool along her chin before dripping to the floor. “I have a funeral to plan and a brand-new business to run. I can’t juggle anything else right now.”
Belonging to this family is a privilege. Not a right.
You have a family. You have me. And Dea.
And me, too.
Anger stirs in my chest, a scared animal defending against the hurt that lies closer to the core of my heart. “I’m not something you have to juggle, Elle. I can help you. I have helped you.”
“Except when I really needed it! The help you were supposed to provide failed.”
I lose the battle against my own tears. “I didn’t fail. Willa didn’t want to stay. I couldn’t force her.”
“Pippa, please,” Elle says, and it’s such a different form of begging from last night.
“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.
I can’t be worried about when I’ll get to see you and what weekends make sense for visits when all of this is happening.
And you saw how Alex was tonight. There’s no point telling him about us. It isn’t worth the risk.”
“You mean I’m not worth the risk.”
Elle squeezes her eyes tight like she can’t bear the sight of me. “Can we skip the fighting and let this be a fun memory? We don’t have to ruin it by trying to make it something more.”
“Fine.” I slip on my shoes and brush past her, my heart shattering into a thousand jagged pieces. “I know better than to fight for someone who doesn’t want me. My family taught me that.”
The choke of her sob follows me down the driveway, and I’m forced to pass her family where they’re huddled together under the dark sky.
My throat is too tight to say a proper goodbye.
The promise of privacy waiting for me in my car is the only thing keeping me putting one foot in front of the other.
I start the car, trace a vitality sigil on my chest, and make the long drive back to Windsfell. Where my real life is waiting. My business. Dea. The empty apartment with nothing but a few plants that probably did better with Dea’s attention than mine anyway.
I’ve been alone most of my life. I can do it again.
It isn’t until I make it to my apartment and fall into bed that I let the grief wash over me.