Chapter Thirty
Chapter
Thirty
In the three days since I met with Flora, I’ve accomplished three things.
One, I’ve talked to my sister every day. Our calls always start off stilted and awkward, but by the end, we’re laughing and reminiscing and starting the slow work of filling in all the gaps in our perceptions of each other.
Two, I’ve contacted Xander to let him know my conversation with Flora replaced the audit and the B&B’s magical license has been fully approved.
And three, I’ve decided to be brave.
It’s been three weeks and one day since I last saw Elle, and I miss her so fucking much. I miss her teasing. Her stubbornness with the things she cares about. The way her hand feels against mine.
I want to be there to listen to her get excited about spreadsheets with Keith. I want to have dance parties with her, Xander, and the ghosts. I want to lust over her forearms while she assaults croissant dough.
If I’ve learned anything from reconnecting with Flora, it’s that silence doesn’t automatically mean disinterest. I owe it to Elle to find out if that’s true for us. And if Elle doesn’t want to see or speak to me again, that’s fine. I’ll respect her choice. I’ll honor her boundaries.
But she shouldn’t have to be the one who goes first, not after everything she’s been through. I’ll hate myself if I don’t try. I don’t know what I’ll say exactly, but I have the entire drive to Oak Spires to figure it out.
“Cocoa. Waffles. You two be good while I’m gone.” I grab the keys to my Camry—I haven’t gotten around to replacing it yet—and head for the door. “Don’t throw any parties while I’m gone. And no eating the plants!”
The kittens meow at me like they’re complaining about the rules, so I’m smiling when I pull open the door to leave. But instead of finding an empty hallway, I nearly collide with a person in the doorframe—a woman with familiar red hair that cascades down the front of a black peacoat.
“Elle?” Seeing her face in person for the first time in weeks makes my mind go fuzzy and blank.
I was supposed to have an entire drive to figure out what to say, but now she’s here. Standing in front of my apartment with her sleeves gripped tight in her palms. Her expression remains infuriatingly neutral while the kittens cry for attention at my feet.
My stomach clenches with sudden anxiety and fierce hope, and I press one hand to my abdomen while the other braces against the open door. “What are you doing here?”
Elle winces. “Alex gave me your address. I was hoping we could talk.” Her attention skims over my body and comes to rest at my feet. A smile pulls at her lips. “You finally adopted the kittens you wanted.”
The delight in her voice breaks me out of my frozen state. “I did. Yeah. About two and a half weeks ago.” I step back to give her space to enter. “You might as well come in. They’re absolute pests until they get proper attention.”
Elle enters, her familiar lavender and warm spice scent filling my nose as she passes. The kittens bound over to her, and she expertly scoops the pair of them up and snuggles her face into their fur before setting them back down again.
Waffles puffs up her tail, indignant as she headbutts Elle’s shin.
I close the door, shutting us into the quiet sanctuary of my apartment. Elle takes in the space as she steps into my living room. “So…this is where you live.”
My muscles feel robotic as I shrug. “For now. Eventually, I’ll need a dedicated office space where those two can’t interrupt my experiments.”
“It doesn’t feel like you.” Elle unwraps the scarf from around her neck and shucks off her coat like she means to stay awhile. “The manor fit you better.”
I don’t know how to respond. Midnight Manor was never meant to be my home, no matter how settled I felt there. No matter how much I enjoyed seeing Xander every day. Seeing her.
With words locked up tight in my chest, I take Elle’s coat and drape it over one of the high stools along the eat-in island in the kitchen. Slipping out of my own winter things, I set them on the stool next to hers.
“I’m sorry.” Elle sighs, and with my back to her, I can picture the defeat in her features. “I didn’t come here to insult your living space.”
“Why did you come?” I ask, and memories of our final moments play through my head. Her anger. Her disappointment. Her grief. Despite my lingering hurt, I keep my voice gentle. “If this is about Willa…I’m sorry, Elle. There’s nothing I can do to bring her back.”
“No, I know. This isn’t about her.” Elle swallows hard, and when I turn around, there’s tension in her jaw. “Well, it is a little. I owe you a massive apology.”
“You—”
“Need to apologize, yes. I was devastated that night, but it’s no excuse for how I treated you.” Elle reaches out like she means to touch my arm, but she lets her hand drop back to her side before we connect.
A strangled hope grabs hold of my heart. The people who throw me out of their lives never come back to apologize, but Elle is here. In my apartment. Talking to me.
“All you ever did was try to help, Pippa. You did help, and when you offered to be there for me, I pushed you away. I thought it would be easier, but fuck, I was such an idiot. Nothing about your absence is easier.”
“Ellie…”
“And then after I treated you like shit, you still handled that mess with the NACOW application. Alex told me you had to talk to your sister, even though it’s been years since you’ve seen her. I can’t imagine how hard that was for you, and the fact that you’d do that, after everything—”
“Elle, hold on.” This time, I’m successful at cutting her off, and I reach for her hands. Her fingers are freezing, but that doesn’t stop her touch from feeling like home. “Do you know where I was headed when I opened my front door?”
“No,” she says, but there’s hope in her eyes.
Hope that feels like magic.
“I was about to get in my car and drive to Oak Spires. I was coming to find you. To see if you meant it when you told me to walk away or if you were hoping I’d come back.”
Elle bites her lower lip. “Pippa Ainsley, were you going to grand gesture me?”
I can’t even be coy. “Yes. I was. I don’t have a big speech planned or anything. I was going to use the drive for that.”
“That’s okay. I have one.” She breathes deep and fixes her aventurine gaze on mine.
“I want you to come back to Midnight Manor. I want you to move in. Permanently this time. Alex misses you. The ghosts miss you, especially Laney. They keep asking when you’ll come back to visit.
Apparently, you owe Laney a weekly Taylor Swift concert? ”
A laugh bubbles out of me. “I think Laney wants you to play that Eras Tour movie for them. You don’t need me for that.”
“You’re right. We don’t need you.” Elle’s words land like a bucket of ice water, but when I try to pull away, she holds tight to my hands. “We want you, Pippa. I want you.”
The thrill of those words is stymied by logic and reason and, if I’m honest, fear. “I’ve missed you so much. I think about you all the time, and I do want to give us another try.”
“But?”
“I can’t uproot everything and move in with you.
” This time, I do drop her hands. I need space.
I need to move. But pacing the apartment doesn’t work, not with Waffles and Cocoa constantly underfoot.
I settle for tangling my hands in my hair.
“You’ve been through hell, Ellie. I’m not saying no to being together, but you threw me out of your life.
I can’t forget that. I can’t jump from heartbreak to living together on a whim. ”
“It’s not a whim,” she says, voice firm. “Alex and I had a whole plan to ask you to move in that night. We had a whole speech worked out, but then Viv called before we got the chance, and—” Elle squeezes her eyes and swallows the rise of emotion that has thickened her voice.
“And then I failed to save Willa.”
“No.” Elle shakes her head, dislodging tears that make twin tracks down her cheeks.
“Because of you, we got to say a proper goodbye. I couldn’t see it then, but what you did for us that night?
Most people never get a chance like that.
We got to hear her voice one last time, Pip.
I got to hear her laugh. You have no idea what a gift that was. ”
“Ellie…”
“And instead of honoring that gift, I let myself get lost in what I thought was supposed to happen. I broke your trust, and I’m so, so sorry.” She brushes the tears from her face. “Please, Pippa. Come back. Come home.”
Home. The allure of it burns bright in my chest. I don’t have a physical location for my business anymore. I can cancel my lease with thirty days’ notice, and with the bonus I got from haunting the B&B, I wouldn’t even miss that money if I decided to move out early.
“I want to, Elle. I really do. The time we spent together was incredible. I was ready to give you my whole heart. Part of me still wants to, wants to trust and leap and worry about the consequences later. But if we’re going to do this, we should do it right.
I don’t want to rush things. I don’t think we should live together so soon. ”
Elle smiles at me like I’m the most wonderful thing she’s ever seen. “You brilliant, incredible woman. I’m not asking you to move in with me.”
“But you said—”
“I want you to be happy, Pip. I saw how much you loved the B&B. How much you loved spending time with Alex. And I know I’m a mess right now. I know I need to earn back your trust. That takes time.”
I slump onto the couch and stare up at her, completely lost. “ ‘Brilliant’ might have been an exaggeration. I’m still confused.”
“I moved out.”
“You—but what about the B&B? You sank all your resources into it.”
Elle settles beside me on the couch and brushes the tears from my face with soft, gentle fingers.
“I’m not planning to leave the business, but I got my own apartment in Oak Spires.
Alex and I want you to move into my old room.
You can run your business from there, and we’ll pay you for any magical upkeep the manor needs. ”