Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
LYNETTE
Finding Ella—the name Justus suggested—became my new obsession while wrapping up the school year.
I needed to finalize grades, submit award recipient names to the front office, pack and clean, and find a home for Chester the escape artist. My students wanted a private class party, not just a field day on the green, where the entire school celebrated with food and activities.
There were staff wrap-up meetings and celebrations as well as discussions for next school year.
It was a hectic time as always. Still, I squeezed Miss Ella in.
“Mormons are serious about ancestry records.” I was excited about the genealogy workshop sponsored by the Latter-Day Saints in July that Mama and I registered for. Justus would be in California with Rodney, freeing up plenty of time for sleuthing. And for me.
My results from the hematologist were complete.
Praise God there were no further concerns or underlying conditions.
I was, however, to reduce dairy, spicy, and acidic foods to combat chronic indigestion.
I’d taken my health more seriously since the anemia diagnosis and was experiencing subtle improvements in mere days.
Fewer headaches. Better energy. I walked the school track at lunch with Nichelle and would start water aerobics next month at the YMCA.
Everything wasn’t rosy but I was moving in a good direction.
I remained ambivalent about the direction for Paul and me. I enjoyed our calls and texts, our quasi romance. The roses he sent. Our FaceTime dates. Yet something eluded me.
I wasn’t sure if it was our geographical distance. Or needing to direct my energies to grad school, health, and myself. Something kept me slightly on the fence. Then there was Granny.
Aunt Bert was in a cast after her knee surgery with limited mobility. Aunt Pauletta’s FMLA was wrapping up, and she’d be leaving soon. An in-home aide had been hired to assist during the day, but we’d need nighttime assistance once Aunt Pauletta left.
“I have the fix.” Mama was cagey and wouldn’t provide details until we arrived at Granny’s. She waited until we finished slices of her homemade red velvet cake—Granny’s favorite—before diving in. “Mama, you remember saying the only place you’re living is where your name is on the deed?”
“Yes. Why?”
Mama placed a document on the table. “I’m modifying my deed and adding your name.”
“No, ma’am indeed! You and Doc bought that house for you and the girls.
” Granny had been so proud when Daddy earned his PhD.
She’d called him Doc ever since. “I’m no charity case.
I got my own house to live in.” Granny slapped a hand on the kitchen table when Mama tried to object.
“I told y’all I promised your daddy I wouldn’t sell what we worked so hard for. ”
“Living with me doesn’t require selling. Keep the house. Rent it.”
“Yeah, Mama, you said a woman should keep a little extra in her wallet,” Aunt Pauletta added.
My grandparents’ home was paid off years ago. Any rent would be pure income.
“And don’t worry. The deed is written in a way that protects my interests.”
Granny sucked her teeth at Mama and looked at me. “You in on this too, Nette?”
“First time I’m hearing it, pretty lady, but hey.” I shrugged. “We can’t all be fabulous like you, sitting up in a beautiful ranch-style home with no mortgage and an opportunity to earn money while living rent-free with your favorite daughter.”
Mama and I laughed when my aunt swatted my thigh in protest.
“Granny, no one wants to undermine your independence.” I reached out and held her hand. “But just like you made Granddad promises, so did we. It would be easier for us to fulfill our promise if you stayed with Mama.”
Granny narrowed her eyes at me. “I’ll give it some thought, you little traitor.”
I kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear. “Thank you, from your favorite.”
“Hattie. Abigail. And Annabelle. Those were her kids. Annabelle starts and ends with vowels!”
I stopped admiring my glittery, professionally manicured nails that had been a “school’s over” treat and looked at Justus.
“We’re not biologically related to Grandma Zinnie.
Remember? Annabelle’s not our link.” And we had yet to find an Ella in the family tree.
“Are you excited about going to your dad’s? ”
“Yes!” Justus pumped a fist for emphasis. “Dad said there’s a Zanitha Freeman memorial in Los Angeles. What if we find something when we visit it?”
“That would be amazing.”
“We’re going to the Bill Pickett Black Rodeo and The UniverSoul Circus and a bunch of cool stuff. Wanna go?”
I grabbed a bag of Skinny Pop from the pantry and padded to the back patio with a bottle of water and my son on my heels. I relaxed in a chair and admired our outdoor living space. It was quaint but peaceful. I needed to use it more often. “Do you want me to come to LA?”
He sat in a vacant chair and reached into my popcorn bag. “Kind of. You and Dad aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend anymore, but I miss being together.”
“Love your honesty, but your father and I aren’t reuniting.”
“I know. Dad’s cool with you coming to LA. You should do something fun this summer besides gossiping with my aunts.”
“The shade! We don’t gossip. We discuss.”
“Okay, Mom. But phones work everywhere. Even LA.”
“You should be a professional negotiator.” I admired the butterfly fluttering over new-blooming flowers. My off-key serenade had been effective. “Let me talk to your father—”
“Yes!”
“Hold the happy dance, Harpo. If I go, it’s for a week. Maybe two.” His summers with Rodney gave me the Me Time I needed. I was willing to sacrifice some, but not all. “Fair?”
“Fair!” He hugged me so hard I dropped my Skinny Pop.
Mr. Negotiator got his way. We were on the flight together when he flew west for summer break.
“Dad!”
Justus running to his father in the airport lobby made my heart melt, as did Rodney scooping him up like he was four, not a year from twelve. I loved that our son wasn’t physically reserved with his father as he was with others. For Justus, Rodney was home away from home. Pure comfort.
They’re bookends.
I walked towards them, amazed at how magnified their similarities became as our son got older. “Can a mama get a hug?”
Rodney chuckled. “Always, when she’s the mama of my son.”
I settled into an embrace that was familiar yet fresh. I inhaled his cologne. I appreciated his strength. I decided I must’ve hit my head to break up with this amazing human.
All three bedrooms in Rodney’s townhouse were in use. One for Rodney, the other for Justus, and the last for his office. Still, they insisted I stay there versus a hotel.
“We worked it out, Mom. Dad’s gonna sleep in his office and you can have his bed.”
We’d watched Shrek number infinity and dined on takeout. Now, Justus was sound asleep, and Rodney was standing in my/his doorway ensuring I had everything. “If you need anything else help yourself.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“For sure. See you in the morning.”
“Rod?” He paused and turned towards me. “Forgive me.”
He frowned. “For?”
“Not listening and being resistant.” He nodded, understanding my reference. “I wasn’t open to the possibility that our child was different.”
He hadn’t overlooked or missed what the pediatrician and teachers might have.
Our son was four when Rodney raised concerns about what I’d deemed cute quirks, idiosyncrasies.
I was a first time “older” mother, in my mid-thirties, needing to prove I knew what I was doing.
Insecurity unleashed my claws and had me misinterpreting his concerns as criticism.
I carried him in my body. If something was wrong, I’d know it!
“It wasn’t my finest moment.” Willful ignorance wasn’t bliss. It became the sore spot that created and widened an unreconcilable wedge that destroyed our relationship. There was no infidelity. No drama or abuse. Just disagreements and my stubborn denial and avoidance.
I watched Rodney leaning against the doorjamb, arms crossed over his chest as he stared at the distance.
“I remember asking myself if I took the job and moved back here to get away from you… and what was going on with my son.” He looked at me and shook his head.
“I came back for a career that would allow me to better provide for him. I did it because I could without worrying if J was safe, loved, or protected. You would shoot Satan in the ass before letting anything happen to him.” He shrugged and stepped away from the doorframe.
“It is what it is. Let’s focus on the fact that our son is awesome. ”
I moved towards him, stood on my tiptoes, and kissed his cheek. “You’re cool people, Rodney Adams.”
“Glad you recognize it. J and I are going to the children’s science museum tomorrow.”
“Nerds of a feather flock together.”
He laughed. “If you want to come, we can hit up the Zanitha Freeman memorial afterwards.”
“Now that is a proper plan, my man.”
He grinned and left, calling over his shoulder, “You’re an amazing mother, Lynette.”
His words rippled sweetly through me. That’s when I understood why I hadn’t jumped fully in with Paul. Some part of my heart was still with Rodney.
I knew he wasn’t dating. He was free. But would he even want to consider another trip around the love tree with me?