6. Chapter 6 #2
Secrets that are almost too close to my heart that people can see them.
I’ve never thought during sex before. Other than the quickest way to come or to get her off so I can be rid of her.
Thoughts have never been so deep. And as I bury myself deeper and deeper into her, the fear starts.
It’s fed by the fact that I’m not wearing a condom.
As she starts to mewl and cry out, and I feel my seed approaching the tip again, I make a dramatic move and withdraw from her, leaving a thumb on her clit so she feels her climax deeper.
And I come all over her belly.
I tell myself that they enjoy it more that way, especially when a condom isn’t being used.
I tell myself that I like it better that way.
I’ll tell her that, too.
That way it avoids the question.
It avoids all sorts of questions.
Questions that I’m not ready to answer.
Questions that I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to answer.
She seems pleased as she slowly wiggles, feeling the ebbs and flows of the end of her climax. I paste on a smile. “Was it everything you thought it would be?”
“More.” She lies. They all lie.
I grab the tissue off the nightstand and clean her off. “Do you mind if I take a shower?”
“Not at all. Actually, I’ve got some of Stevie’s clothes here if you’d like to change, and I can throw your outfit in the wash.”
“It’s cashmere.” She chuckles. “You throw that in the wash, and it’ll only fit a Barbie doll.”
“Oh.” I snuffle a laugh. “Which is why I frequent the dry cleaners. I only own a washing machine for the maid to wash my linens.”
She rises, naked, and tousles my hair. “It’s okay. I can change back into my clothes.” Her tongue swipes across her lips. “You care to join me?”
“I think I’m spent for now, actually. I’ve got work to do.”
“All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy.”
I chuckle. “I think I’ve played enough for one night.”
With a wink, she leaves me. My pants are on the floor.
I pick them up and pull them on, not bothering to put my underwear back on.
Inside my pocket, I know that I’ve got messages on my phone, so I check them.
They’re all to do with work. And one from a girl I went to college with, who has messaged me on social media.
I lift a brow but ultimately decide to ignore her again.
She reached out to me before I went into business with Jagger, and I ignored her then, too.
Her message just lists her phone number and her request for me to call her.
It’s not what you think.
She’s insanely smart. And way out of my league.
And she’s the only one that knows my secret.
Why I don’t block her is beyond me. I should.
But the memory of our last conversation still looms in my mind.
She wanted what I wanted. We had something in common.
And although I try to force myself not to, I creep onto her account and see that she’s employed by a multi-million-dollar firm, just as she was the last time we spoke.
It’s a different one, I notice, since the last time.
But it seems that she has that same itch that she had years ago.
The same itch that I’ve had but ignored for too long.
I don’t even hear her approach as I sit in the living room, having started the fireplace. “Hey.” I look up and see that Jinny is fully dressed. “Thought I should head back. I’m sure that you don’t want me staying the night.”
I’m not sure if her guess means that she feels unwelcome. “That’s up to you. You don’t have anything with you and this was...unexpected.”
Her face quirks into a smile. “Maybe in your book it was.”
She’s a little vixen. I hate admitting that I like it. But I do.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Maybe.” She teases, brushing her hand across my chest as she walks away.”
I chuckle, breaking the spell. “Aren’t you forgetting that I drove you here?”
She sobers. “Oh, yeah. Hey, give me a ride, would ya?”
“No problem. Let me put a shirt on.”
She lifts a brow. “Don’t.”
“If you’re suggesting that I drive half naked back to the office, you’re even crazier than I thought you were.”
“I’ll do it, too.”
I snort a laugh. “You’ve clearly got way less at stake here than I do.”
She shrugs. “Of course. But, the way that I see it, you’re the best damn CFO Jagger could ask for. He should let you do whatever you want.”
As I walk up the stairs to grab my shirt, I let that comment stir a little inside me, and then I walk back downstairs, properly dressed, and respond as I walk to the front door with her. “I get a certain level of freedom with my job, but mostly it comes at a price.”
She gives me a knowing look as we leave the house. “Honey, everything comes at a price. Make no mistake.”
“I suppose you’re right about that.” I say as I open the door for her and we get inside.
“Every decision you make, everything comes at a price. That’s the part that sucks about being an adult. Hell, even the decisions that you make can affect someone else’s life, too. But it’s also my superpower.”
I look at her as I pull out of the driveway. “How’s that?”
“Well, I’m an HR Manager. It’s simple.”
An inner eye roll. “How is that simple?”
“Well, the decisions themselves aren’t always simple, but the fact that I make decisions that affect so many people is simple. Simple meaning the answer.”
“Ah, so you acknowledge that it isn’t so simple.”
“Of course. But I truly believe that nothing in life is complicated, but thinking makes it so.”
“Easier said than done.”
She looks over at me. “Well, I get it that your job is much more pressured than mine. You’re responsible for the financial stability of your brother’s company.”
I raise my brows and speak with a scoff. “Stability? Think again, Jinny. Stable isn’t enough. Not nearly enough.”
Her eyebrows scrunch together. “You say that like you’re unsure.”
“I am unsure. Every goddamn day of my life I’m unsure.” I’ve said too much. I decide that that’s all I’m giving her.
But it’s too late. “Led, we’re all unsure.”
My gaze darts to her as we sit at a stoplight.
And I nearly shout at her.