Chapter 8
Juliet
The sun is rising when my masked stranger walks me to my car and kisses me until I’m breathless and dizzy.
Can I even call him that? Is he a stranger when I’ve had him inside me no less than three times last night?
The man’s refractory period is seriously impressive, but it wasn’t only about sex.
It was the quiet moments where he held me in his arms. The easy conversation about everything and nothing.
We didn’t talk about anything that would give away our identities, but there was never any awkwardness between us.
Everything just felt right.
Which is wrong.
I can’t be falling for a man I don’t know.
It was only supposed to be one night.
It was only one night.
He made that perfectly clear from the start. He can’t give me more, and that’s fine. I’m not ready for more.
This was the perfect arrangement for both of us.
Then why is neither of us making a move to leave?
I’m pressed back against my car, engulfed by his body heat as his tongue explores my mouth in slow, sure strokes. His large hands grip my hips, while mine rest on his chest; the steady cadence of his heart grounds me in a way I haven’t felt in too long.
The past six years have been intense and unstable. While I wouldn’t give Tinsley up for the world, the truth is I had to hit rock bottom before I could save myself and my little girl.
Tonight was a chance to prove to myself I’m not broken, but I’m starting to wonder… I’m falling for the first man to show me physical affection since my ex-husband. Am I crazy?
He kisses a trail along my jaw to the sensitive skin below my ear. “I need to know your name, pixie.”
I shiver from the warmth of his breath hitting my cool skin, and lightly press on his chest until he pulls back to look at me.
“We said this was only one night,” I say, searching his steel eyes. In this light, they’re more of a baby blue than grey.
He runs a hand through his dark hair, his tongue running over the seam of his kiss-swollen lips. “We did. It is. Maybe. I don’t know. Fuck.”
My stomach flutters at his nervous rambling, but I don’t let the hope take hold. I can’t. This isn’t just about me. I have to think of Tinsley, and she doesn’t need random men coming into her life just because her mum is thinking with her hormones and not her head.
Last night was amazing, but he’s only twenty-five. He’s too young to get involved with a single mum. Especially one with the emotional baggage I have.
I need to walk away before this gets more complicated.
Looping my arm around his neck, I pull him in for a final kiss, then without another word, I unlock my car and climb in, closing the door. He doesn’t move as I back out of the park and drive away, trying desperately not to look back.
I’m doing the right thing. Last night was a fun time with a sexy younger man and nothing more. It was something I can laugh about with my girlfriends and dream about when I’m lonely.
A groan slips from my throat, and I push my mask off my face. What was I thinking spending the night with him? I was supposed to go to the club, be disappointed he wasn’t there, and leave. I wasn’t supposed to spend the night having incredible, mind-blowing sex and falling for the guy.
Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck.
I blow out a deep breath.
It’s okay, Juliet. You won’t go to the club again. You won’t see him again. Everything will be fine.
Everything is not fine.
I’m spiralling.
It’s been two weeks since the night at Euphoria, and I’m a neurotic, horny mess.
My vibrator has had one hell of a workout, but it’s nowhere near hitting the spot.
I even Googled whether you can buy a pierced dildo.
Apparently, you can—and it took me down an interesting rabbit hole—but I was too overwhelmed to actually purchase one.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
While Everett takes Tinsley to visit their father on Saturday, I spend time with Quinn and Ally, hoping they can keep my mind occupied. Instead of distracting me, they’re making everything a thousand times worse. I never should’ve confided in Quinn about my night with the masked striker.
“So, he really had a pierced… you know?” Ally asks.
“Dude,” Quinn snorts. “Tinsley’s not here, you can say the word cock.”
I groan. “You two are the worst.”
“You love us,” my best friend teases. “Besides, if you didn’t want us to ask questions, you would’ve kept that little detail to yourself.”
“I really wish I had,” I mutter under my breath.
“Ha, bitch, please. You can’t keep anything from me.”
Ally scrunches her face in concentration. “But, like, what did it feel like? Could you feel every barbell as he moved inside of you?”
“Tu te fous de moi?” I say, picking up a cushion and burying my head in it. “I need new friends.”
Quinn slaps my arm playfully. “Are you cursing us in French?”
“No, you idiot.” I hit her with the cushion. “I said, are you kidding me? Although maybe I should curse you. I told you I need to forget about him, so why won’t you help me?”
I sound like a whinging toddler, but they’re supposed to be helping me. Which I point out is part of the best friend manual.
“Juliet, as your bestie, it’s my—”
“Hey!” Ally interrupts, but Quinn just waves her away.
“It’s our job to support you.”
“Thank you,” I say.
“I’m not finished,” she says, shooting me a look. “It’s our job to support you, and to tell you when you’re being a fucking idiot. Right now, you are being the biggest fucking idiot on the planet.”
My jaw drops. I have no words. Excuse me!?
Ally snorts, and I turn my glare on her. “What the fuck?”
She holds her hands up. “Don’t come at me, Jules, but I’m one hundred percent in Quinnie’s corner on this one. I mean, come on. He’s pierced.”
“You two are un-fucking-believable,” I grumble.
“You had a hot, young, tattooed, and pierced guy who rocked your socks off, and you ran away.”
My chest tightens as I remember just how much he rocked my socks off… more than once. “I didn’t run. I drove.”
She rolls her eyes.
“I don’t want Tinsley to have random strangers coming in and out of her life.”
“You don’t have to move him in,” she says. “Tinsley has the occasional sleepover at Everett’s, and we’re always happy to baby-sit. There’s nothing wrong with a no-strings-attached fling.”
This conversation is getting out of hand.
My stomach dips. “I’m not going to ship my daughter off so I can get laid.
I know you’re only trying to help, but I’m never stepping foot in Euphoria again, which means I’ll never see him again.
It was fun, but it was reckless. What if something happened to me?
Tinsley’s too important for me to be taking risks like that.
Besides, like you said, he’s young. He doesn’t know I have a daughter, and he didn’t sign up for that. ”
Tears sting my eyes, but I blink them back, knowing I need to work harder at forgetting him.
“Thank you for pushing me to step out of my comfort zone. Maybe I’ll consider putting myself out there again. One day,” I add when Quinn opens her mouth to interrupt. “One day, I’ll try again, but I’ll do it when I’m ready.”
My two friends share a look before throwing themselves at me in a big group hug.
“We love you, Jules,” Quinn says, smacking a kiss on my cheek. “We just want you to be happy.”
“I know,” I say, squeezing them both tight. “And I am.”
We all know I’m only telling a half-truth, but no one calls me out on it. I am happy. Tinsley makes me happy. But I’m also lonely. Even more so after getting a glimpse of what it’s like to be wanted by someone again.
But that night at Euphoria was a fantasy. It wasn’t real life. I have to drag myself back to the real world, at least for now.
Being the best friends they are, Ally and Quinn change the subject and spend the rest of the day distracting me with plans for Tinsley’s fifth birthday, which is in a couple of weeks.
She wants a princess party, of course. Luckily, I have amazing friends who are willing to dress up and give my daughter what she wants.
We jump online and order our costumes, the decorations, and all the other bits and pieces we need to throw an epic princess party.
They also help me choose her new bedroom furniture—when we moved in, I made do with second-hand furniture, but I want to give her bedroom a makeover for her birthday. Only the best for my little princess.
“Do you want Kris to come over and help you put the furniture together?” Ally asks, referring to her husband.
“Rory will be happy to help, too.”
“Thanks. I want to set it up on her actual birthday so it’s ready when she comes home from preschool. I’ll be fine.”
“You know, it’s not weakness to ask for help,” Quinn says softly.
“I know. If I get stuck, I promise to call.”
The front door opens, and Tinsley races in, barrelling into my arms. She buries into my body, her arms squeezing me tight.
I glance up at Everett, who enters looking flustered, with her backpack hanging from his hand.
“What’s going on?” I ask warily, rubbing my daughter’s back. She’s not crying, but she is clinging to me for dear life.
He runs a hand through his hair, staring at Tinsley’s picture wall rather than looking at us. “Just Dad being his usual controlling arsehole self.”
My body tenses. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing,” he assures me, but then he drops his head, his voice turning bitter. “Dad’s only leverage over me is Tins, and I might have lost my cool. I’m sorry if I scared her.”
I tilt her head up to look at me. “You good, princess?”
She nods, her blonde curls bouncing.
“Give your brother a hug, then go put your bag away. We can bake some cupcakes when you’re done.”
“Okay.” She runs over and wraps her arms around Everett’s legs.
He leans down to pick her up, giving her a quick squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before setting her back on her feet. “See you soon, pipsqueak. Love you.”
“Love you, Rett.” She takes her bag and runs off to her bedroom.
Without a word, Quinn and Ally follow her, and I’m left alone with my stepson. Ex-stepson. Oh, god. This is such a mess.
He rubs the back of his neck. “I really am sorry, Juliet. It won’t happen again. I’m just sick of his bullshit.”
“What did he do?”
Everett shakes his head with a sigh. “It doesn’t matter. I’m handling it.”
I chew on my thumbnail. “If this is all too much for you, I can get the court to appoint—”
“No,” he rushes out. “Seriously, it’s fine. I’m her brother. I promise I won’t let anything happen to her.”
My heart swells at his protectiveness over her.
“I know you won’t. You’ve done so much for us already, Everett. I’m so grateful to you for everything, but you didn’t sign up for this.”
“Neither did you,” he mutters, stunning me into silence. “You didn’t know what he was like until it was too late. I’m sorry I didn’t try to warn you about him.”
“You were only a kid.”
“I was a teenager. Old enough to know that he wasn’t a good guy.”
“He’s your father.”
“He’s my sperm donor, and an arrogant arsehole who thinks splashing his cash around will get him what he wants. It kills him that it doesn’t work with me anymore.”
“Everett…” My voice trails off, not knowing what to say. No child should ever feel like they’re a pawn in their parent’s games.
“It’s fine, Juliet. I’ve accepted what my relationship with him is. You don’t have to worry about me.” He moves for the door, then hesitates, glancing over his shoulder at me. “Can I pick Tinsley up from preschool on Tuesday? Hang out with her? I’ll drop her back before dinner.”
I smile. “Of course. She loves spending time with you.”
“Me, too. Maybe we could make it a regular thing?”
“She’d love that.”
He opens the door, and I call after him.
“If you ever need anything, just ask. We’re family.”
“Thanks.”