Chapter 14 Blake
Blake
Iwas going to walk away.
I was going to do the right thing—for both of us.
But goddamn, I can’t ignore my need for this woman. I’ve never experienced this type of connection. It’s all-consuming and life-altering. Even though I know we shouldn’t be doing this, I can’t let her go.
Instead, I crush my lips to hers in a bruising kiss and lose every ounce of control that I never had. When it comes to her, there’s no holding back. Kissing her, touching her, it’s a mistake I will never regret.
“Tell me to stop, pixie,” I murmur, trailing kisses across her jaw. She arches her neck to give me more access as I lick and suck on her feverish, sensitive skin. “I can’t be your Romeo, Juliet.”
“I don’t need you to be.”
“Tell me you don’t want to explore this, and I’ll walk away.”
It will fucking kill me, but if she tells me to do it, I will.
“Please, don’t stop.” She cups my cheek and directs my mouth back to hers, deepening the kiss. I’m barely able to catch my breath as we both lose ourselves, our hands exploring as our tongues tangle together.
My dick throbs and thickens as it presses into her stomach, and her fingers slide over my abs until she reaches the button of my slacks.
With a groan, I break the kiss, stilling her hand.
“As much as I need to be inside you, we can’t. Not here.”
Her cheeks flush, and she buries her face in my chest.
“Hey,” I say softly, tilting her chin so I can look into her hypnotising green eyes. “We’ll figure this out.”
My stomach bottoms out when she shakes her head. “You don’t deserve this. Tinsley’s my priority. She has to be. I can’t confuse her. You’re her brother’s best friend, and if this doesn’t work out…”
I brush my thumb over her kiss-swollen lips. “Is that why you walked away after that night at Euphoria?”
Swallowing, she nods.
This is dangerous. Her confession should be reason enough to walk away before she becomes an addiction I can’t quit.
I don’t do relationships because I don’t want to turn into him—my father.
If a simple kiss sent me on a spiral, I can only imagine what would happen if I have her and lose her. I don’t deserve her, and she doesn’t deserve my darkness.
I don’t do things in moderation. It’s my curse. I shouldn’t be risking this when she doesn’t know who she’s getting involved with. A stronger man would walk away and ignore the temptation.
But I’ve always been weak.
The thought of not feeling this connection, of never getting to touch her or find out more about her, is unbearable. Worse than the fallout of her finding out about the ghosts I keep buried.
Something about her quiets all the noise inside my head. Being with her feels right, and I want to explore that.
Juliet blinks up at me. “I don’t know what Everett’s told you about his father—”
I press a finger to her lips, knowing the consequences of both of us going into this blind, but wanting to hold on to this moment a little longer.
“He hasn’t told me anything, and you don’t have to until you’re ready.
We both have pasts, and nothing we say or do can change them.
Let’s take things slow, keep it to ourselves, and see if there’s anything here? ”
She sighs. “I have full custody of Tinsley. It will be impossible to find time together. My life’s a mess. You don’t want to get involved with me, Blake.”
Oh, but I do.
Grinning, I say, “It’s a good thing she loves spending time with her big brother.”
“If Everett finds out—”
“He won’t,” I assure her. “Not unless we decide this is what we want.”
Her teeth sink into her bottom lip. “This is crazy.”
My grin widens. “Does that mean you’re willing to see where this goes?”
She meets my gaze, her green eyes filled with a combination of hope and trepidation. “If it all gets too much?”
“We can walk away,” I promise, the idea sitting like lead in my stomach. If the last two months are any indication, there’s no way I’ll survive losing her. I’m already in too deep.
Voices float down the hall from the kitchen, and I know our time is limited.
Leaning in, I press a soft kiss to her lips.
“Give us a chance, pixie. What do you say?”
My stomach flips when she finally nods. I slip my phone from my pocket and hand it to her. With shaking hands, she types her number in, and my lips tug into a smirk when she saves it under ‘Pixie’.
“Mama?” Tinsley calls, and Juliet quickly passes my phone back before reaching for the door.
As she slips out of the room with a soft smile, I return to the dollhouse, unable to hide the massive grin on my face.
For the first time since I was fourteen, I feel like something is actually going right in my life.
Juliet is giving me a chance at something I never thought I’d ever get, and I’m determined not to fuck it up.
Juliet wasn’t kidding when she said it wouldn’t be easy to find time together. With her parenting responsibilities, my soccer commitments, and the hectic rotating shifts of my clinical placement, almost a week and a half passes before we can see each other.
Pixie: Hi…
Blake: Hi yourself. What are you doing?
Pixie: Finishing some accounts. You?
Blake: Getting ready for work. I’m on afternoon shift for the next three days.
Pixie: Tinsley’s having a sleepover at your place tonight…
Blake: What are you saying, pixie?
Pixie: That I’ll be all alone in an empty house.
Blake: I won’t finish my shift until ten.
Pixie: Did I mention how lonely I’ll be?
Blake: We can’t have that.
Pixie: See you tonight?
Blake: See you tonight.
“What are you smiling at?” Everett asks, walking through the front door as I slide my phone into my pocket and grab my jacket.
He dumps his bag on the hallway bench as he kicks off his shoes.
“Nothing,” I say, picking up my keys.
He raises a brow but doesn’t push. “I just spoke to Juliet before. Tinsley’s going to stay over tonight. I hope that’s okay?”
I fight back my smirk. “Yeah, no problem. She’s welcome anytime. I’m on afternoon shift and was going to catch up with a friend after, so I’ll be home late anyway.”
His eyes glint. “Friend, huh?”
“That’s what I said.” I keep my tone casual.
He looks at me expectantly, like I’m going to give him more, but I just clap him on the shoulder and squeeze past him to the door. “Catch you later.”
I expect my eight-hour shift to drag and to be watching the clock, but we receive a steady stream of call-outs.
Nothing life-threatening, but enough to keep busy and focused.
In between patients, we fill out paperwork, restock supplies, and wipe down the stretcher.
By the end of my shift, I’m exhausted, but the thought of seeing Juliet overrides everything.
After I clock off, I quickly shower and drive to her house.
I park down the street, just in case, and walk the rest of the way.
My pulse races as I approach the front door, unsure what to expect and terrified of stuffing this up.
Good things don’t happen to me, and she’s so fucking good.
For once, I want to believe that I can have something in my life that resembles happiness without the darkness stealing it away.
I wipe my palms on my jeans before knocking.
The shy smile on Juliet’s face when she opens the door and steps back to let me in has my heart pounding like a drum. She’s so fucking beautiful, it hurts.
“Hey,” I say softly, kicking off my shoes and leaving them by the front door.
“Hey, yourself.” She tucks her hair behind her ears, and we hover awkwardly in the entryway. “Uh, can I get you a drink?”
I shake my head, a small smile playing on my lips. “I’m good.”
“Right. Of course. Well, uh, come in.”
Her nervousness is adorable, and I’m desperate to pull her into my arms and kiss her, but I told her we’ll take things slow, so instead I follow her to the couch and sink into the soft leather beside her, keeping a safe distance between us.
I glance over at the television before looking back at her and arching a brow. “Criminal Minds?”
She flushes. “What can I say? I have a thing for Spencer Reid.”
We both turn our attention to the screen, but I don’t know what’s happening and I’m too hyperaware of her sitting so close yet too far at the same time.
I’m completely out of my element here. This is uncharted territory. I’ve never had a girlfriend, never done a repeated hook-up. I’ve always been too focused on keeping everyone from finding out about my past.
Moving to Beckford almost three years ago was the fresh start I needed from my old life and the destructive path I was on—the one that terrified my sister—but I kept to myself for a full year until Ritter and Zac busted me having a kick on the pitch in the off-season and convinced me to join the team.
Since then, I’ve allowed a select few of my teammates into my life, but it’s all been surface-level and curated to what I want them to know. Even with Everett.
The dude is like a damn puppy, and because we were the only two new players last year, he got it in his head that it made us automatic besties.
What can I say? He grew on me. He’s the closest thing to a friend I’ve got, but he doesn’t know anything about my past, and now I’m going behind his back with his stepmum.
Fuck, I’m going to hell.
But one quick glance at Juliet, and I realise I’ll happily greet the damn devil at the gates with a hug just to be in her presence.
Not only is she the most attractive woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, but there’s an undercurrent of innocence that mixes with a hint of something that tells me she’s had her fair share of pain but came out of it stronger.
It’s her quiet resilience that draws me in and makes me want to protect her.
Which is ridiculous when I’m undoubtedly the one she’ll need protecting from.
I shouldn’t be here, but I can’t bring myself to leave.
She shifts in her seat, finally tearing her eyes from the television to meet mine. Her cheeks are still flushed, and I fight the urge to reach out and run my finger over her heated skin.