Chapter 23
Blake
For the first time in eighteen months, I skip training.
After I leave Juliet’s, I switch my phone to do not disturb and drive out to Eagle Peak, hiking up to the summit.
My chest aches, but not from exertion. I knew my past would be hard for her to accept, but I hadn’t factored in her own trauma with abuse.
The parallel between what we both went through sits heavy in my gut.
It’s not just what she went through, though. It’s Everett, too. He’s been my closest friend in Beckford for the past eighteen months, but I never bothered to get to know him beyond soccer. We’ve both been dealing with our own demons, neither of us knowing that we share this trauma.
As I lean my back against a tree and stare out over the endless sprawl of untouched forest, I wonder, not for the first time, what my life would’ve been like if I hadn’t come home late from school that day.
Would I have been able to prevent whatever argument led to my father hurting my mother that day?
Would I have made it worse? Would I have been the one who copped his wrath instead?
If I hadn’t killed him, would we all have died in that house?
The abuse had been getting more frequent; he was drinking more and flying off the handle at the smallest things.
If I hadn’t ended it when I did, would he have taken things too far?
I couldn’t bear to think of my sister lying in a pool of her own blood.
She was the only good, pure thing in that hellhole.
I was an angry kid, fed up with not being able to protect the women in my life, but Tori was nothing but light.
Mum had become a shadow long before that day, shrinking in on herself more and more, but she was still our mum. She didn’t deserve what he did to her.
I watch as the sun sinks lower in the sky, hating my father for ruining my life from beyond the grave.
Juliet was the first ray of sunshine in my otherwise bleak existence, and my body slumps with the weight of not being good enough for her or Tinsley.
She didn’t have to say the words out loud; I could see them in those beautiful green eyes.
I wasn’t going to force her to tell me she couldn’t be with me.
To be honest, I’m not strong enough to hear it.
Walking away was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I don’t know how I’ll survive losing another person I care about. Fuck, who am I kidding? I don’t just care about her; I stupidly allowed myself to fall in love, knowing I’m a curse to everyone in my life.
The ache in my chest grows, and if I wasn’t studying paramedicine, I’d probably be worried I was having a heart attack. A broken heart is way worse. There’s no cure. No treatment will make it better.
Numbness creeps in, but I don’t know if it’s from the autumn chill now the sun’s gone down, or from knowing I need to move on from Juliet, all the while living with her stepson and knowing her toxic ex is still in Beckford having contact with her daughter.
It’s going to hurt, but I don’t blame her.
She needs someone who isn’t battling his own demons.
Stiff and sore, I hike down Eagle Peak, using the torch on my phone so I don’t trip and kill myself. I may be hurting, but I don’t have a death wish.
By the time I reach my car, I’m determined not to fall into my usual self-destructive behaviour. As much as it aches, I’ll give Juliet space, and I’ll move on without her somehow. When I finish my studies at the end of this year, I’ll move back to Sydney to be closer to Tori and my nephew.
Dark Noir’s album Don’t Wait for Me blasts from my speakers as I drive home, lost in my thoughts.
Noah’s bike is parked behind Everett’s car when I pull up in my driveway behind Emily’s car, and I’m surprised to see Zac’s new A9X Torana also parked on the street. A frown creases my brow as I push open the front door, voices reaching me from the living room.
Five heads snap in my direction when I appear in the doorway, and my heart leaps into my throat when a familiar blonde bolts off the couch and throws her arms around my waist, her body trembling as I release a shuddering breath and close my arms around her.
“What’s going on?” I ask, my eyes finding Everett’s. He looks pained as he watches me brush my hand over the back of Juliet’s head. “Where’s Tinsley? Did something happen?”
“She’s fine,” Everett grunts, and I still can’t gauge what’s going through his head.
Noah clears his throat, drawing my attention to where he and Zac are watching us curiously. “We should go. Glad you’re okay,” he says, patting me on the back as he squeezes past me.
Zac casts a quick glance at Everett before giving me a small smile. “Call if you need anything.”
Confusion thrums through me, and I return my gaze to my housemate as the door clicks shut behind our teammates.
“Does anyone want to explain what’s going on?” I ask again, my heart damn near beating out of my chest.
“Where were you?” Everett counters. “You’ve been missing for hours.”
The only way he’d know that is if he knew when I last saw Juliet.
Releasing a sigh, I tilt her chin up to look at me. Her green eyes are red and swollen, like she’s been crying since I left her. “Where’s Tinsley?”
She sniffs. “Quinn and Rory have her.”
“Why?”
“Because I came looking for you.”
I swallow thickly and repeat my question. “Why?”
She reaches up to cup my cheek in her soft palm, and my heart cracks. “You left before I could tell you I don’t care about your past. It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
My eyes dart to Everett, but he doesn’t look pissed, more resigned.
Needing to hear her say it, I return my gaze to hers and murmur, “How do you feel about me, pixie?”
“You make me feel alive again, like I’m not broken.
” Her voice wavers, but she doesn’t look away.
“I didn’t think I could want this again, that I could trust someone with my heart and not be terrified of getting hurt.
” She exhales softly. “But you make me want more. I want to love you when it gets dark and stick around for more than just the good parts. I’m in love with you, Blake. I’m in this forever.”
A soft chuckle escapes my lips, and I lean in to rest my forehead against hers. “Did you just quote my favourite song to me?”
Her smile steals the breath from my lungs. “I did. It’s a good song.”
“It is,” I agree, squeezing my eyes closed, then steal my nerve to face my closest friend in Beckford. “How do you feel about this?” I ask when I finally look at him.
He releases a humourless laugh as he shrugs. “Does it matter?”
My stomach twists. “I never meant to—”
“Save it,” he says with a sigh. “Juliet explained everything when she came looking for you. I won’t stop you if you feel the same way, but you better fucking look after them because I won’t hesitate to lay you out, mate or no mate.”
“I do,” I say without hesitation, looking down at the beautiful woman still wrapped around me. “Pixie, I’m so madly in love with you, it hurts. I’ve been gone for you since that first kiss, and I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to deserve you and Tinsley.”
Everett groans. “I don’t need to hear anything else. I’m going to crash at Em’s.”
He leaves the room, his heavy footsteps trudging up the stairs.
Not wasting another second, I swoop down and capture Juliet’s lips with mine, kissing her until we’re both breathless.
“Do you mean it?” I ask, peppering kisses over her cheeks and her nose. “You want to give us a real shot?”
“It won’t be easy,” she warns, gazing up at me. “Everett is convinced Edward’s going to try something with Tinsley, and if you’re in this with me, you’re going to need to trust me and support me, not try to save me. I need you to keep your head.”
My chest tightens, hating that she has to ask me to do that, but knowing she’s right.
If I lose control, she could lose her daughter, and I’d never forgive myself if that happens.
“I trust you. Whatever you need, I’m here for both of you.
You’re an amazing mother, Juliet. Tinsley’s lucky to have you. ”
“She’s going to be confused,” she says, biting her bottom lip, “when we tell her about us.”
“I’ll follow your lead, but we don’t have to rush anything.”
Juliet shakes her head. “I’m done hiding.”
Everett’s bedroom door closes above us, his footsteps returning to the stairs.
I press my lips to hers again before reluctantly pulling away. “Can you give me a second? I need to make sure Everett and I are okay.”
“Of course. I’m sorry for telling him without you, but when you didn’t answer your phone…” Her voice trails off, uncertainty flashing through her green eyes.
Guilt swirls in my gut as I remember my phone is on do not disturb. “I’m sorry,” I say, pulling it out and switching it to focus. It immediately starts vibrating with text messages and missed calls, not only from her, but my sister, my housemate, Noah, and Zac. “I needed time to think.”
Everett doesn’t say goodbye when he hits the bottom step.
I follow him outside to his car.
“Are we okay?” I ask as he tosses his overnight bag into the back seat.
He sighs before turning to face me. “I’d be lying if I didn’t say you hooking up with Juliet didn’t make me a little uncomfortable, but I’m more pissed you did it behind my back.”
“I’m sorry—”
“Save it, Blake. I meant what I said in there. If you treat them right, we won’t have an issue.” He glances at the house before turning his attention to me. “Are you sure you want to get involved with her? My dad’s an arsehole, and he won’t be happy when he hears about you.”
My thoughts drift to the guy I treated on Monday night, and my fists clench. He has no right to question what Juliet does anymore, especially when he’s no saint. Blowing out a deep breath, I relax my hands and meet Everett’s gaze. “I tried to forget her. It made me miserable.”
He gives a grim nod. “Well, be ready to help her, because Dad’s planning something.
He’s a stubborn bastard, and I wouldn’t put it past him to play dirty.
I’m trying to find out so he doesn’t blindside her, but whatever it is, it’ll have something to do with pipsqueak.
” He runs a hand over his face with a muttered curse.
“I just wish he’d fuck off and leave us all alone. ”
Him and me both.
“But we’re good?” I ask, holding out my hand.
“We’re good,” he agrees, shaking it.
I start to turn back to the house, but stop. “Why were Zac and Noah here?”
Everett rubs the back of his neck, looking at the ground. “You, uh, might want to give your sister a call and let her know you’re okay.”
“Tori?” I ask, frowning.
“She gave me her number on the weekend in case of an emergency, and when Juliet showed up here looking for you and you weren’t answering your phone…
” He lifts his gaze. “They both told me what happened with your dad. We were worried, so I called Zac and Noah, but I didn’t tell them about your past. The plan was to come looking for you, but then you walked in. ”
I stare at him. “You thought I’d hurt myself?”
He grimaces, then shrugs.
My stomach drops. “I wouldn’t do that to my sister, or to Juliet.”
“I’m not the one you have to convince,” he says quietly, turning to climb into his car. “See you tomorrow.”
I watch him pull away, then slide out my phone and call Tori. It only rings once before she answers.
“Are you okay?” she asks breathlessly. “I was about to jump in my car and drive back—”
“I’m fine,” I interrupt. “You don’t need to do that.”
“What’s going on? Where were you?”
“I went for a hike to clear my head.”
“Things didn’t go well with Juliet?” Disappointment hangs heavy in her tone.
My lips tug into a smile. “The opposite, actually.”
“I don’t understand.”
A chuckle pushes past my lips. “I’ll explain later. Just wanted to let you know I’m okay. Now I want to go spend time with my girl.”
“I’m happy for you, Blake.”
My grin widens. “Thank you.”
When I head back inside, Juliet’s curled up on the couch with her Kindle.
She’s so engrossed in her book that she doesn’t even notice I’m standing here.
I lean against the opening and watch her eyes dance across the screen as she chews on her nail.
She’s so goddamn beautiful. I can’t believe she’s mine.
“Good book?” I tease, loving the way her cheeks flush.
“Who doesn’t love a female vigilante vampire,” she says with a coy smile.
I arch a brow. “Sounds interesting.”
“It is.”
Smirking, I hold out my hand to her. “More interesting than making good use of an empty house?”
She tosses her Kindle into her handbag, biting her lip as she takes my hand and lets me pull her to her feet.
I wrap my arm around her waist and bury my head in her neck, breathing her in as my lips drift over her sweet skin.
“Is this real?”
Her hands reach between us to rest on my chest. “It’s real.”