1. Pop Princess Tunes
POP PRINCESS TUNES
Ivy — Four Months later, January
Determined to get the angle of the sun perfect for this damn shot, I was up and down out of the chair for the millionth time before it finally looked perfect on screen.
I hit the button, and the shutter of the camera filled the otherwise silent room.
Normally I’d have music playing, but I was feeling a bit off today and nothing was helping—not even my normal pop princess tunes. So instead, silence ensued.
A sense of melancholy in the air aided and embedded my sour mood.
Plopping down in the chair I’d been standing in, I quickly edited the photo and copy-and-pasted the caption from my notes section, and the review was up on my Instagram for any and all to see.
My mom’s photo filled my home screen before I could set it down, and I found myself smiling authentically for the first time today. I slid my finger across to answer, and her face filled the screen. Without hesitation, she was smiling back at me.
“Hello, my gorgeous girl! I’m just calling to check in before school kicks back up. Kids are at lunch for now, and holy moly they’re rambunctious with winter break over.” The phone was leaned against something on her desk, and I watched her twist back and forth in her swivel chair.
Both of my parents had been teachers my entire life.
Mom taught seventh- and eighth-grade history, and Dad was a high school science teacher, eager to bounce into whatever field of science they wanted him to land in that year.
He’d say you never knew what kid could be the next John Dalton or Marie Curie, so any learning experience mattered.
“Hey, Mama! I’m just hanging out before work this afternoon. I finished a book review earlier, so I was able to get that posted just before you called. Did they just start back today?”
She laughed, the sound twinkling through the speaker and throughout my otherwise-silent apartment. “Yes! Break is officially over. So, tell me, what book was it this time?”
When I first started sharing more of my reading habits online, this question used to make me blush when Mom shot it at me, but now it just brought a fit of giggles and way too many words.
“It was an arranged marriage between a woman and then a guy her dad was working with, only it turns out that the guy was threatening her father with blackmail to have her hand in marriage because he was a wolf shifter and they were fated! Quite romantic, really.”
Mom’s eyes went wide when I got to the wolf bit, and she started laughing.
“Oh my darling, your reading habits become more wild by the day I think. Anywho, yes. The kids came back today from break. However, I think Dad and I are going to go away for a long weekend this weekend. Nothing crazy. Friday through Sunday, and I was thinking, when I get back we could have a little girls’ night?
Chick flicks and ice cream sundaes, whatcha think? ”
An easy smile curved along my face, and I found myself nodding. “I’d love that, Mom.”
Just then, the front door swung open, and my boyfriend swaggered inside.
He shouldn’t be home for another two hours, and the pit in my stomach grew as I checked him for any signs of stress or anger but found none.
I turned back to the camera, a look of concern drawn across Mom’s face that I refused to acknowledge at the moment.
“Well, I hope you and Dad have a blast, and send me lots of photos, okay?”
We both knew that my smile was forced, but she nodded anyway, her eyes giving away her skepticism as we said our goodbyes.
Her to go tend to her students and enrich their lives with knowledge of the past and me to soothe the man in front of me, peering down at me as if I’d done something wrong when I hadn’t even spoken to him today.
He’d left before my alarm and hadn’t replied back to my good morning text.
Shocker.
“Hey baby, how was work today?”
He sat down on the couch across from me and started unlacing his work boots.
Todd and I had been together almost three years now.
At least, if you went by our first date to now and didn’t factor in the time we broke up or spent apart over those three years.
Personally, I tried not to. Todd’s family situation was rocky, and it caused him to act out sometimes.
Beneath the tough bad boy exterior though, he was sweet, and he loved me—I knew that.
His brown eyes flashed up at me, his sandy brown hair somewhat disheveled as if he’d been working out or maybe he’d pushed his hands through it one too many times.
“It was fine,” he grumbled as he pulled off his second boot, leaning back on the couch, his arms outstretched.
I fought the urge to go to him. Sit beside him and kiss his cheek.
We used to be like that—affectionate and full of love, but the last year or so had been hard on him.
He needed space, and I wasn’t one to push those I loved when they needed that space.
Aspen, my best friend, said I should push.
I should find out what his deal was, and I wanted to, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do so because it always ended in a fight.
The desire to ask why he was off early was on the tip of my tongue, but I bit the flesh, holding back any questions that didn’t need answering, lest I start a fight I wasn’t prepared for.
“Why are you still home?” His question shot through the newfound silence, and I found myself staring at him for a moment before finally finding an answer.
“I don’t work until four this afternoon.
I did some work on my book page and cleaned up the apartment a bit,” I replied with a shrug.
“A shower is next on the list, if you want to join me.” Trying to instill a bit of seduction into my voice hadn’t been my best move lately, but it had also been months since he’d touched me in that way.
A vibrator should only have to work so damn hard when I was in a committed relationship with my live-in boyfriend.
“You need a better job, Ivy,” he shot back, ignoring my advances completely. “I can’t carry us forever, and your schedule seems to be all over the place. It’s fucking ridiculous.” He wasn’t yelling by any means, his tone more of a growl mixed with a grumble, but the words still stung.
We had a calendar on the side of the refrigerator, my shifts and any of my plans always written out for the month.
Todd enjoyed knowing where I was, so I did my best to help make it easy for us both.
Sometimes I’d go days without truly seeing him, only sending a quick text to check in while we went on about our lives, two passing ships, as they said.
Personally, I thought that didn’t happen until years into a marriage, and even then, only in the shitty ones. My parents weren’t like that at all. They loved spending time together.
“I pay my half of the rent, Todd. What else would you like me to pay?” In my head, it didn’t sound as snippy as when it came out of my mouth, but here we were.
Being snippy it seemed, but I was doing my best, and honestly, for a twenty-two-year-old woman who only waited tables, I thought I was doing well.
Todd rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I’m gonna take a shower. Enjoy work.” He stood up and meandered over to the bathroom door, slamming it behind him before I could get another word in.
My eyes dropped to the floor as I turned back over the conversation in my head, trying to find where I went wrong and how we ended up here. I wasn’t sure, but as my throat tightened, I ran my fingers under my eyes faster than the salty moisture could fall down my cheeks.
Maybe he was just being a jerk, but we could shower together, and I’d remind him why he wanted me. On my feet and across the room before I could second-guess myself, my hand went to the bathroom door’s knob, and I turned, only to find it locked.
“Todd?” My fist knocked against the door, but within seconds, he turned on his music, the volume blasting through the closed wood, and I forced my feet back down the hall without another glance.
Aspen’s fingers drummed across the bar top as we stared out into the empty dining room.
The Roadhouse was a bar and restaurant in Raven Creek that only had two somewhat slow seasons.
We were in the middle of the first one. It was early January in Colorado, and the snow hadn’t melted, the rodeos were not up and running, the holiday season was over, and The Roadhouse crew was just waiting for the busy season to pick back up.
January was normally a lull. A slow bit before it started picking back up in March. February was hit or miss. Raven Creek wasn’t exactly known to be a skiing hot spot or anything. We’d get couples up here to vacation sometimes, but it was normally just out-of-towners visiting family.
Aspen and I both stood up when the door pushed open, only to deflate as Lucas, our head bartender and assistant manager, walked back in from taking out a load of trash.
His face was grim as he scanned the room and our empty tables.
We both knew what was coming before the words left his mouth.
With two hours left of my shift and two and a half left of Aspen’s, we were being cut for the night.
“You both can head out early tonight. I’m going to close it down to just bar seating.” Aspen and I nodded, and I tried my best not to seem too upset by the news. Especially when I knew what was waiting at home.
Aspen’s eyes sank beneath my skin as we cleaned up the tables and shut down our sections.
She wanted to ask what was bothering me; she’d attempted when we’d gotten here, but I’d shrugged her off and slapped on my happiest bubbly face.
She’d let it go, never one to press, but I knew she wasn’t buying what I was selling.