Chapter 35 Mariella
I clutch a hand to my stinging biceps and stagger out of Silas’s grip, the empty syringe falling to the floor.
“How could you?” I cry, detesting the quiver in my voice. Detesting him—and myself, for coming here in the first place. For trusting him, even though I knew he wasn’t being honest with me. Why did I barge in here like a fool, putting myself in danger despite learning he was a time traveler?
In one thoughtless action, I’ve let him take away my past and my future. My choice.
“I’m sorry, Mariella. I can’t let you go to Neurovida,” he says, body trembling.
“That wasn’t your decision to make.”
There’s a sudden shift behind him. The air is distorting, swirling, like melted sugar whirling in a pot. Parker and Rose materialize, Parker pressing a silent finger to his lips.
I try not to react, but from the spike in my heart rate to the heat flooding my veins, my entire body responds to his presence. And I want to grab hold of those sensations and throw them away, because I shouldn’t feel this way about someone who’s been lying to me.
Silas’s eyes widen, and he begins to turn, but Parker lurches forward and shoves something into his arm. Silas slumps to the floor.
“Holy fuck,” Rose mutters, taking in the document-lined walls.
Parker secures Silas’s arms behind his back with a cable tie. “Rose, help me,” he says, and they struggle to shove Silas’s unconscious body into a sitting position against the wall.
“What did you give him?” I ask Parker.
“A sedative. He isn’t who you think he is. This is Matthews,” Parker says, stepping toward me.
“He told me,” I say, and Parker’s brows rise. “He said if I go to Neurovida, I’ll die.” My lip trembles. “Tell me it isn’t true.”
He’s staring at me, his mouth downturned and pain burning behind his golden eyes.
“That’s why Rose made you promise to stay away from me, isn’t it? So you wouldn’t get too close to me. So all your secrets and lies wouldn’t unravel.”
“I never lied to you,” Parker says, his gaze unwavering. “Please let me explain.”
I step away from him, my eyes burning. “Did you tell me anything real, or just enough to take my blood and get your powers back?”
“I only wanted to get my powers back so I could save you,” he whispers, and Rose stiffens in the corner of my vision.
“Why should I believe you? You’ve kept things from me since the day we met. You’re as bad as he is,” I say, gesturing to Silas.
Parker’s mouth falls. “I’m nothing like him.”
“He changed your past,” Rose says, still standing by the wall adorned with photos.
I turn to Parker, my hands snaking protectively around my chest. “You told me that wasn’t possible.”
“We were told it wasn’t, but there’s no other explanation,” he says. “Before Neurovida, you never broke your wrist, and you were in a relationship with a guy named Glenn.”
“And those pills you’ve been taking aren’t sleeping pills,” Rose adds.
I frown. “I got them from a doctor.”
“But Matthews set up your appointments, didn’t he?” Rose says, and my stomach clenches. “You never would’ve been recruited while you were taking those pills.”
How could Silas do this to me? How was I so wrong about him?
“McGregor confirmed it,” Rose says. “In small amounts they stop your sub-t and dampen your abilities, but a large dose of this drug will remove your powers altogether. He convinced you to take the pills so you wouldn’t find out the truth.”
I shake my head, searching the countless names, faces and dates covering the paper-lined walls. It feels like they’re pressing in on me, inching closer with each rapid breath. “What is the truth?” I whisper. “Why didn’t you warn me?”
Parker looks as if something inside him is breaking. “I didn’t want to tell you until I knew I could stop it. Telling you would’ve felt like acceptance.”
“We were protecting you,” Rose adds, her voice solemn.
“You sound just like him,” I say, gesturing to Silas.
“That man betrayed all of us,” Rose says, jabbing her blood-crusted nail at the man on the floor. “He’s the reason you die.”
“If that’s true, why did he spend the last thirty minutes begging me never to go to Neurovida, so I’ll live?”
Parker and Rose exchange a glance. “That doesn’t make any sense,” Parker says.
It doesn’t. The used syringe that stole my powers lies forgotten in the corner of the room.
I should tell Parker what Silas did. That power no longer runs through my veins.
But something is holding me back, an unexplainable nagging low in my gut.
Parker will want to go to Professor McGregor and get me the antidote.
And then what? Would I take it? The nagging sensation deepens.
Parker has opened my eyes to a life I’ve only dreamed of and, without the antidote, that part of it will end.
I uncoil my arms from around my chest and lift my chin. “I want to see what happens to me in my future,” I say, keeping my voice stern. “I need to know the truth.”
Parker’s body tenses. “No.”
“Parker, it’s the only way to get her to trust us,” Rose says. “Travel and show her that Matthews is a lying piece of shit.”
Parker shakes his head. “I won’t put her through it.”
“I’ve experienced it in my sub-t, but it’s always dark,” I say.
“Because you’re untrained. With Parker, every sense will be incredibly clear. If you want to know the truth, this is how,” Rose says.
Parker’s silent for a moment, turning the idea over in his head.
“If I take you into my past, you’ll see everything from my point of view.
It’ll be different from your sub-t. With my abilities, every detail will be as clear as the day I lived it.
You might also experience an echo of what I felt in that moment, but I’ll do my best to block it from you. ”
Rose shakes her head. “Parker, you’re wasting time, she said—”
“Just wait, Rose,” Parker says with a raised voice. He turns back to me. “Before we do this, I need you to know… what you’re about to see will never be a reality. I’ll die before I let it.” He extends a tense arm toward me, his eyes searching mine. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I need to know the truth,” I say again, taking his hand, and sparks of electricity ignite where our skin touches. Parker leads me to the single bed. I pause, looking up at him. “I don’t understand.”
“There’s a difference between watching a memory and physically entering one. Our bodies will stay here,” he says, tugging me to sit next to him. “This way we can’t interact with anyone and cause split memories.” He glances at his watch, one I’ve never seen him wear before, and takes my hands.
Rose stands silently beside Silas, gnawing on her nails. “Make it quick. He could wake up any second,” she says, but my body’s already flaring with warmth, every cell vibrating with energy.
When Parker last traveled us, I clamped my eyes shut. This time, I keep them wide open, electricity roaring up my arms and building within my chest. I suck in a deep breath to combat the pressure crushing my lungs.
Rough sandstone walls materialize before my eyes, encasing me and obscuring Silas’s office. I stiffen, my heart rate jumping. Is the unease clawing against my rib cage my own emotion, or Parker’s echo as he lived through this moment?
I blink, and the walls have crumbled, a grand home cinema appearing in their wake. Plush leather sofas fill the three tiers, centrally divided by crimson, carpet-lined stairs. The cinema is mostly empty, occupants seated only on the sofas on the lowest level.
Professor McGregor sits facing the audience on a wooden chair at the front of the room, his back to the screen and an antique wooden box clutched in his hands.
Parker wasn’t lying when he said this memory would be different through his eyes.
My visions of this memory are clouded by darkness, leaving me to rely on sounds and primitive feelings such as fear.
With Parker, every aspect of the room is so real I’m having trouble believing I’m in his past. The rich, oaky smell of leather hangs in the air, mixed with a softer floral scent I cannot place.
Ivory half-moon lamps line the room, domes of soft light accentuating the red and gold patterns in the walls.
Parker’s younger self is lazing on the sofa to McGregor’s left, furthest from the door.
Rose and Silas sit on the other sofa, Rose picking at her nails while Silas leans forward, his covered forearms resting on his knees.
They’re all wearing the same square smartwatches and strange black uniforms, made of an unusual fabric that fits snugly against their bodies.
Professor McGregor winds a lever on the back of the box, each flick of his wrist producing a series of sharp clicks.
Parker groans. “Please, not again,” he says, tilting his face toward the decorative ceiling and stretching his arms above his head. “I’ll be hearing that creepy tune in my sleep tonight.”
“Then focus,” McGregor says, and the clicking halts. “Concentrate on the sound of the music or the rotation of the ballerina, and see if you can slow it down.”
Parker glances around the room with an indifferent expression, and yet another jab of apprehension fills my chest.
“This is a waste of time,” Rose says. “It’s impossible.”
“We don’t know that,” McGregor snaps, scanning the three recruits before him. “Now concentrate. All of you.”
“Why are we getting punished for showing up on time, when Nickol and the rest of the Alphas aren’t even here?” Rose asks.
McGregor ignores her question and places the wooden box on the floor before him. “We’re going to try this again. Remember your training. Find your focus before you begin.”