Chapter 38 Mariella #2
“Matthews.” Liam’s brows crease. “A lot of what he said didn’t make sense, but he made it clear he was threatened by you.
His plan was always to take away your powers and keep you contained.
” His lips press together, and he stares down at me, the light behind his eyes dim.
“I don’t want you to take this, Ella. The only consistent information we got out of Matthews is if you don’t go to Neurovida, you’ll live.
” He takes a step toward me. “As long as you pretend to know nothing, Neurovida will leave you alone. You can have a normal life.”
A normal life. The words ring in my ears.
I’ve spent so long chasing normality. Afraid of being the weird girl or being singled out. I let it take over my life.
But standing before Liam, knowing I’ve already missed out on six years—that he wants to make it longer. Forever.
I don’t want a normal life.
The realization knocks the breath from my lungs. Not if it means a life without him.
“If I don’t go to Neurovida, we’ll never meet,” I whisper, and as the words leave my mouth more tears fall, no matter how much I try to stop them.
Liam tenses, but he doesn’t reach out to touch or comfort me.
His shoulders are slumped, his eyes dim.
The past six years have broken something within him.
“I don’t want you to meet me,” he says. “Not if it means your death. I want you to live a long, safe life. This is the only way I can ensure that happens. But I don’t want to be another person in your life making choices for you.
” He releases a breath and extends the syringe toward me.
“I told you I’d never keep anything from you again.
It’s not a promise I’ve kept, but at least this way you can decide for yourself. ”
Hand shaking, I reach out and take the antidote. “And if I don’t take it, what does that mean for us?”
“I can’t—” He pauses, pressing his lips together. “I need to go back, but Rose and I won’t stop trying. I promised you I never would.”
“It’s been six years. Stop searching. Stay here with me. I can take the antidote, and you can teach me how to time travel. We can go somewhere safe.”
“I don’t want to hide in the past forever.
You saw what being here did to Rose. The painkillers and the unstable behavior are only a glimpse of what happens if we stay too long in the wrong time.
Plus, Neurovida will be watching you now, getting ready to recruit you.
The only way I can guarantee your safety is by staying away. ”
“Can’t you visit me at Neurovida and tell me when it’s time to leave? Before anything happens to me?”
“Once you set foot in Neurovida, you never leave. You die no matter what.”
I grip the syringe in my hand. I’m not ready to say goodbye. I’m not ready to accept I’ll never go to Neurovida, never meet him, never live the life I was destined to live. “What if I find you before either of us gets recruited?”
Liam shakes his head. “It’s too dangerous.”
My heart’s racing, as if it senses how unbearably close it is to breaking. “No. I’ll find you in this time. I’ll—”
“Ella, no!” he yells. He points to the syringe in my hand.
“Throw that away and move on with your life. Finish your studies and become a psychologist like you always wanted. Don’t waste your life waiting for me.
” He’s shaking, body half turned away as if he can’t bear to look at me. “There’s no future for us anymore.”
His words hit me with such force that the air expels from my lungs.
I clutch the charm on my necklace, fighting to stay upright.
This can’t be the end. I move toward him, needing to close the distance between us.
I’m desperate for him to take me into his arms and promise me it will be okay, but he steps backward, and my feet come to a halt.
Tension lines Liam’s forehead, and dark bags sit beneath his eyes from years of stress and hiding. Six years, to be exact. Six years of his life, and Rose’s, wasted trying to change my future. They’ve lost so much time on the impossible. What if they never stop? They’ll waste their whole lives.
Rose and Liam have continuously stressed to me the importance of living my life to its fullest, but when is the time for them to live theirs?
I force away the pain of my heart shattering and the cry building at the back of my throat. I wipe the tears from my cheeks. “Okay,” I whisper, my body shaking. “I’ll throw it away. If you promise to do something for me.”
His eyes lifts to mine, and he nods.
“I want you to stop. Stop trying to change what happened at Neurovida and stop putting others before yourself. You’ve spent so much of your life concentrating on other people.
Rose too. I want you to stop focusing on what you can’t control and focus on what you can.
I want you and Rose to be happy. Find a place where you can both be safe and live your lives.
I don’t want you to spend another second trying to save me. ”
His body tenses. “Ella—”
“Please. You need to forget about me.”
“That’s like telling me not to breathe,” he says quietly.
The truth shines in his eyes—he won’t sacrifice me for himself. Ever. Unless I force his hand. “Liam, I’ll take this antidote unless you promise to let this go.”
“This is bigger than you and me. There are other members of Alpha who Rose and I need to save.”
“They wouldn’t want you saving their lives at the cost of your own.
You told me once you’d never lie to me. So, I want you to promise me.
Swear it to me now. If you love me at all, you will stop trying to change your past. And even if you could stop my death, I don’t want to go to Neurovida.
I want to stay at college and become a psychologist. All I’ve ever wanted is to be normal, and this way I can.
” The lies burn my throat, but I hold his defeated, amber gaze. “Promise me.”
Liam stares back for an eternity, his face filled with torment. Finally, he whispers, “I promise.”
“Promise me you’ll try to move on.” I force out my next sentence, the words tasting like poison. “If you meet someone, I would… find a way to understand.”
Liam’s eyes lock with mine, so many unspoken words hanging between us. I step toward him and pull him against me. Squeezing my eyes shut, I breathe him in—warm cedar mixed with the freshness of cut grass. His arms wrap around me, but he doesn’t pull me firmly against him like his younger self had.
“Goodbye,” he whispers into my hair. “You’re going to have a wonderful life, Ella. Don’t waste a second of it.”
“I won’t,” I say, tightening my arms around him, but it doesn’t stop him vanishing for what I know will be the last time.