Chapter 20
The trip back to Fort Vanguard was solemn. The vehicles at half-capacity were a gruesome reminder that a third of their group had been lost to an unstable hoarder with a grenade to spare. The group split off in silence, ready for a hot meal and time to decompress.
New people had shown up requesting refuge. Marcus and Yara set off right away to assess them and allow them entry. As Nick and Kate passed the group of newcomers, one of the faces stuck out. Nick thought one of the women looked familiar, though he could not place where he would have known her from.
Nick and Kate entered their barracks. Kate turned into their room and shut the door. Collapsing onto the bed, Kate squeezed her eyes shut and tried to force the sounds of the airfield from her mind; the explosion, the cries for help, and the echoes of death played on repeat.
After checking in with Phoenix next door, Nick entered their room and sat beside Kate on the bed. He wrapped his fingers around her hand and then pulled it to his lips.
“I’d love to tell you something profound, like what happened today has some sort of meaning to it.
But I’d be lying. I want to say that this is just the world we live in.
People get blown up over greed; it’s a desperate fight to survive.
It’s been happening for a long time. Now, we are seeing it on our own soil.
It would be honest but harsh. What I will say for certain is that I love you.
I’m sorry you had to be there for that. I’m really fucking glad that you’re safe. If you want to talk about it, we can.”
Kate shook her head, her eyes unfocused and fixated on the bedspread. Nick kissed her forehead and released her hand.
“I need to go see the medic before my shoulder gets infected. You’ll be okay for a while?” Nick asked.
“Your shoulder.” Kate pulled her gaze away from the bed to look at Nick, her eyes roaming the place where the metal shard had lacerated his skin.
Nick nodded.
“Be back soon.” Nick smiled at her and left.
The infirmary stood next to the administration buildings.
The incident at the airfield had the place buzzing with machinery, footsteps rushing back and forth, and voices calling out orders.
Nick felt a pang of guilt coming now while others needed more attention than him.
He reminded himself that he was here because an untreated infection could take him out and leave Kate to survive on her own.
“Can I help you?” A blonde woman in dark blue scrubs asked, pulling Nick from his train of thought. He realized he was standing in the doorway of the vast room looking questionable. The nurse tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as her eyes scanned Nick from top to bottom.
“I have a shoulder wound, but I know you all are busy. I can wait a bit.” Nick pointed to a row of chairs lining the edge of the room. Some of the seats were already taken by people—some pale, some doubled over in pain.
“I have time to look you over now,” the nurse responded. A slight smile played at the edge of her lips, and hesitation gripped Nick’s body.
“No, really. There were others here before me.” Nick gestured to those waiting. The nurse laughed and shook her head like she heard a joke only she understood.
“Come on, I don’t bite.” The look in her eyes filled Nick’s bones with concrete.
Everything in him demanded he stay planted in place, but his shoulder would not heal itself.
He followed her to a corner of the room with a curtain around a modest stall.
He sat on the hospital bed, every muscle in his body crying out with the movement.
The sounds of the infirmary fell to a low murmur from this distant corner of the facility. Though only a few feet from the nearest patient, Nick felt miles away from every living soul within the building.
“I’m Kara, by the way.” The nurse paused to smile at Nick in between procuring medical supplies.
“Nick.” His answer was flat and obligatory as he gazed around, purposefully looking at everything except the woman in front of him. This proved to be a difficult task as his surroundings were quite bare.
“What happened to your shoulder?” Kara asked, looking him over once again. This time was full of intent rather than interest.
“I caught some shrapnel from the explosive.” Nick pulled the collar of his shirt down in an attempt to reveal the gash in his skin. He shrugged his shoulder to his neck as he maneuvered the wound into the opening. The awkward movement sent pain cascading down his arm.
As Kara looked the wound over, her face scrunched in confusion.
“This just happened today?” Kara asked.
“Yeah, maybe two hours ago,” Nick replied.
“Hmm,” Kara said, her eyes fixed on the gash. “It looks as though it’s already started to close up. It could still use some cleaning and a few stitches. You’ll have to take this off,” Kara said, tugging at the fabric.
With effort, Nick sighed without making it noticeable.
He clenched his teeth and then did as he was told, lifting the shirt over his head.
He set the blood-caked clothing onto the bed beside him.
The amount of time Kara’s eyes spent raking across his tattooed, muscular body was not lost on Nick.
Kara cleared her throat and slid her hands into green nitrile gloves.
That spot on the wall, the tiny speck of brown dirt. That is where your eyes live now. If you look away, the whole building will fall. For the love of God, do not meet this woman’s eyes.
Kara cleaned away blood and fabric that had commingled with the wound. Once free of detritus, Kara examined the opening in his flesh.
“I’m going to apply a topical anaesthetic and suture the wound.”
“Go for it,” Nick replied. Kara retrieved a tube of ointment from the drawer and applied it to the flesh surrounding the gash.
“The topical anaesthetic takes a few minutes before it starts working.” Kara pulled a small metal table beside her and sat down on a wheeled stool.
Great. Time to kill. Love that, Nick thought.
“I’ve caught bits and pieces, but what exactly happened out there?”
“We went out to the airfield; Marcus had a hunch that it hadn’t been hit yet.
We started loading supplies when some guy fired into us—downed one of our guys.
Before we could eliminate him, he tossed a grenade into one of the buildings.
Took out several people and, well, you’ve seen all the injuries. ”
“Geez, any idea why?” Kara asked.
“He had valuable supplies and didn’t want others to have it. It really just boils down to greed.”
Kara tutted disapprovingly and shook her head.
She moved the wheels of the stool into Nick until his knee was between her legs.
Taking a needle between her fingers, she placed her hands against Nick’s chest and weaved the sutures across the wound.
Even after waiting five or so minutes, the gel slathered on the gash had not fully numbed the area.
His jaw tensed as pain sprouted through his shoulder.
The needle pierced his skin and tugged the severed edges to meet.
Nick breathed in deep as searing agony sent a jolt through his arm.
Still, he clamped his mouth shut and did not make a sound.
After what seemed an eternity of yanking and threading through his flesh, Kara tied off the sutures.
She sat a moment longer, her gaze drifting from her handiwork to Nick’s face.
Kara was attractive with smooth, yellow curls that settled around her chin.
A blush of pink painted her cheeks, and she had full lips and doe eyes that made her look like a porcelain doll.
Bright green eyes gazed at Nick, and he had only allowed himself to capture a view of them for a mere second.
That was all the time he needed to see it.
There was a happiness in them—a hope that he could not relate to.
There was no need to hear her story because Nick was sure the disease taking over the world was the worst thing that had ever happened to her.
Uneasy under her gaze, Nick pulled his tattered shirt over his head.
Nick was certain that Kara had never been sprawled on the bathroom floor in a puddle of her own tears, wondering how long it would take her to die if she cut her wrists open.
He was sure she had never been locked in a cage and violated at every moment in the most depraved ways.
Even if she had intrigued him enough to give her a go, he was unequipped to handle her optimism.
Their view of the world was not seen through two different pairs of glasses.
It was seen through two different dimensions entirely.
When Nick stood and prepared to leave, Kara stepped in front of him.
“Maybe we can see each other when there’s not an injury involved,” Kara said.
In fact, maybe something was wrong with him.
This was the second time during the collapse of society that a woman had shown interest in him, and all he could think of was Kate.
With the usual expectations of waiting and romantic guidelines out the window, he figured he could have this woman naked on her back in minutes.
Just the thought passing through his mind sent him spiraling into the depths of guilt.
Physical touch had been progressing with Kate.
Lately, it seemed she had been longing for more.
There were always so many interruptions in their life, and he was forced to stifle his desires.
Still, Nick wanted the broken woman. Even if he could not be between the sheets with her, sweaty bodies and tangled limbs, just being near her was enough.
“We can’t, but thank you for stitching me up,” Nick said and left the infirmary.