Chapter 23
The night brought a harsh wind that whipped their faces as they collected their meals.
Steaming bowls of bisque nearly burned their hands as they carried them into a large, open building where picnic tables had been set up to get the residents of Fort Vanguard out of the cold.
Nick and Kate sat at the back, eating their dinner in a satisfied, reverent silence.
A woman about Kate’s age walked in, holding a bowl of food in one hand and a small child, no older than two, in the other. The boy’s cheeks were rosy from the outside air. The mother sat at a table in front of Kate and began spooning food into the child’s mouth.
Kate marveled at the fortitude required to keep a child alive through the turmoil and danger that encompassed this life.
It was difficult enough to stay alive as an adult.
How much more strife did it add to find food for an infant, keep them quiet and warm, and free of sickness in times like these?
Kate hoped the woman and child had been at the fort since the beginning of the end.
As she watched, Kate found that her eyes kept darting down the aisles between the picnic tables. She expected to see a man carrying his own bowl of food make his way to the woman and child and sit beside them. None came.
Behind them, Yara passed by, trailed by an elderly woman.
There was no mistaking her for anyone except Yara’s mother; the similarities were uncanny.
Where Yara’s dark hair flowed down her back, the older woman’s was pulled tight in a single braid.
Both had deep-set, brown eyes the color of dirt after a heavy rain.
They had the same tight smile that was both welcoming and pragmatic all at once.
Yara helped the old woman into a seat, and they fell into a chorus of slurps and clinking spoons.
Nick studied Kate as she observed the woman and her son. As she ate, her eyes would drift discretely to the pair as the mother fed the infant. While there was an astonished curiosity in Kate’s gaze, something else lingered there. A thoughtfulness, a yearning even.
Nick wondered if Kate had wanted children of her own. The idea must have found a place in her mind when she and Connor started dating. When the chemistry between them found its balance and they developed into something serious, the prospect of offspring may have tugged at her mind.
A few times, the thought of being a father had crept into Nick’s thoughts.
After he and Liv moved in together, he figured it was only a matter of time before she wanted to get married and start a family.
The prospect excited him at first. Then, the state of his mind began to crack, and depression declared a frontal assault on his entire being.
Nick could never be a father, not when he could barely entertain the idea of keeping himself alive.
Everything was different now. Nick was different. Not just because the cure enhanced him. Kate had unearthed the best parts of Nick; they were always there buried beneath resentment and guilt. She was able to chisel them out because she reminded him who he was.
The world they lived in was not the most apt setting for raising a child, and it would take more work than he could imagine. Nevertheless, if being a mother healed the parts of her soul that had cracked in the past, Nick would oblige.
Except, Nick recalled the way Kate had reacted to the tampons he had brought back from a loot run—that deep, expansive loss that had taken shape in her eyes. She had never asked for them. Nick considered that Connor may have taken away not only the dream of creating life but the ability as well.
The hot soup sat heavy in Nick’s stomach, and Kate had taken the last bite of her meal.
Nick wrapped his fingers in hers, pulling her hand to his mouth so that he could plant a kiss on the delicate skin.
When Kate turned to him, she had tears in her eyes.
A brittle laugh forced its way from her mouth, one that was less about humor and more about feeling foolish for the thoughts churning in her head.
“What’s on your mind, pretty girl?” Nick asked.
Kate searched his eyes, contemplating how much to tell Nick, gleaning how much he already knew from watching her.
“Can you imagine?” Kate gestured to the woman and child with a tilt of her chin.
“Love can do incredible things.” Nick cut her a half-smile, his lips tilting up on one side in a manner that usually sent her heart into cartwheels. This time, though, her face remained sullen.
Nick opened his mouth to say more, but Phoenix slid into the seat beside him with a steaming bowl of crab bisque.
“Do you believe this shit? Crab. Real crab. God, I love living near the coast!” Phoenix exclaimed. The moment the spoon touched his tongue, he recoiled and slammed the utensil back into the bowl. “Shit! That’s hot.”
Nick laughed and shook his head. Even Kate managed a smile as she watched the mother and child get up from the table and head toward the exit.
“Yo, see that girl over there?” Phoenix leaned into Nick, looking past him at a young redhead with curly hair sitting a few tables away. She looked to be barely of age, like Phoenix, and was sitting with an older couple with features resembling her own. “Yeah, I’m gonna make her mine.”
“Don’t be a shithead. Also, you might have to put that on hold. We’re heading out tomorrow. Going back to check in with our friends in Aqua City. You coming?”
Phoenix’s gaze darted between Nick and the redhead.
“Yeah, I think I’ll meet you guys there.”
Nick raised his eyebrows.
“What? My leg’s still healing! Plus, I just need a little time to talk to her,” Phoenix said.
“Right, well I figure we will hit the hospital first. If you wanna meet us at the apartment complex across the street, we will probably stay there for the night and then head back here.”
“Uh huh,” Phoenix murmured, his attention locked into the girl who was now staring back at him and flashing shy smiles. Nick rolled his eyes when Phoenix scarfed down the remainder of his meal and limped over to the redhead anticipating his company.
“He’s not going to show,” Kate laughed.
“I want to be annoyed, but I can’t say I don’t know what that feels like.” Nick kissed the top of Kate’s head, collected his bowl with hers, and placed the dirty dishes on a designated table.
Josh stood behind them with a dirty bowl in his hand. Nick gave the coward a half-hearted nod, and Josh’s eyes lit up at the sight of him.
“Hey, Nick! Hey, so I was hoping that I could be more useful around here. Maybe go out and find supplies or help in the infirmary. I know what you think of me. I hate myself for it. If I could change it—”
“It’s going to take a lot more time to prove to me that you’re not a piece of shit,” Nick said.
Josh looked crestfallen. He nodded in acceptance and stared down at his toes. The couple pushed past him, raring to crawl into bed and embrace a deep sleep. The food sat heavy in their bellies, offering them a warm comfort.
“No! Please, I’m sorry!” Josh shouted from behind them.
Nick’s pistol emerged from his side as quickly as he turned around.
Josh stood with eyes wide, the whites in them as bright as light bulbs.
Blood poured from a wound in his neck where a kitchen knife protruded.
A woman stood before him. It was the same woman Nick had seen before, one of the new residents.
The woman jerked the knife from Josh’s neck and stabbed him again, this time in the eye socket. He shrieked as his hands wildly shook in front of him, as though he needed to perform some action with them and was not sure which to choose.
Josh’s knees hit the ground with a crack. It echoed throughout a room that had dwindled to terrified silence.
“Hands in the air!” Nick shouted while he approached the woman from behind with measured steps. The woman raised her arms and slowly turned. Blood spattered her face, which was set in indifference. There was no remorse for what she had done and no fear for what was to come. She simply complied.
Behind her, Josh’s body flailed on the ground, smearing the tiles with blood. As he attempted to breathe, blood sputtered through the hole in his throat. A wheeze of wet gurgling narrated his final moments.
That was when Nick knew where he recognized her from. The panic dissipated, though he kept his gun trained on her out of duty. The stabbing became apparent. Nick would have done the same.