Chapter 44
“Hey, brother. Are we still on for tomorrow?” Ryan greeted Nick near the broken-down building they claimed as their meeting spot. The air clung to the environment in a thin, chilled layer, reminding Nick of the approaching winter. The drop in temperature would make survival a more difficult task.
“Change of plans. We’re letting the drop happen,” Nick explained and watched the faces staring at him twist into confusion.
“What? Why?” Ryan exclaimed.
“Kate wants to tear down this entire operation. She wants to be transported to the headquarters of this trafficking group so that we can destroy it from the inside.” Nick strained to keep his voice steady and without emotion.
If his friends suspected he was losing his shit, he feared they may refuse to help him or make their own plans.
“Shit,” Phoenix said, assessing his words. Worry covered his face like paint, yet he started nodding as if Nick’s proposal was the only viable option.
Ryan shook his head. “Tumbleweed is such a badass.”
“After the drop, we’ll meet back here. Then I’ll lead us back to Kate. We’ll have to survey the area and find the best way to take out the guards. Get what gear you can from Fort Vanguard. We’re going to need it.” Nick gave orders while the group listened intently.
“We’re gonna get her back in one piece,” Ryan consoled.
“If it’s the last thing I do,” Nick replied.
“Are you good, man?” Ryan asked, eyeing Nick with furrowed brows.
“I’m fine.” Nick’s tone was harsh and greatly contradicted his statement. He wished he had put at least a slight effort into sounding convincing. The voice modulator did not help his case.
“Yeah, you sound fine,” Ryan shot back. “Prove it.”
“What?”
“Take off the fucking helmet.” Ryan took a step toward Nick.
“Ryan, back up,” Nick said, and moved away from him.
“Nick, take the fucking helmet off, look me in the eyes, and tell me you’re good.”
The helmet had become a thing of utmost importance.
Nick’s key to survival. If Luke’s men recognized him, they would know he was infiltrating them.
They would crush his and Kate’s chances of escape and likely kill them both.
Though, Nick wondered how many of the men that would recognize him were even still alive.
The helmet was more than just something that hid his identity; it created a new one.
Someone who could easily dispose of a man regardless of his moral alignment.
Someone who could treat human captives as pets to be fed and kept healthy enough to appeal to a buyer.
The helmet held Nick’s sanity within his brain before it could spill from his ears.
Ryan raised his eyebrows, waiting expectantly.
Nick thought about Adler who fought hard to keep Nick’s guilt and shame at bay.
He sighed and pulled the helmet from his head, revealing what he assumed would be bloodshot eyes and a face covered in grime from digging graves.
Ryan clicked on his flashlight and shined it at the ground; the light bounced off and illuminated Nick’s face.
Ryan’s gaze pierced his own. Nick wanted to look away. The scrutinizing expression that had hardened on Ryan’s face turned to sympathy. He sighed and clapped a hand on Nick’s shoulder. The shoulder that recently carried the body of a murdered man.
“Whatever you’ve had to do, whoever you’ve had to be, it’s not you. You gotta hold on just a little longer. We’re gonna get your girl out. We’re gonna shut down this crazy ass operation. And the world is gonna be a better place for it.”
Nick closed his eyes and nodded. Tears formed, wetting the edges of his lids, and he clenched his teeth, willing them not to fall.
Keep your shit together just a little longer, Nick told himself.
The group spent some time discussing the plans further and making a list of gear they may be able to use from Fort Vanguard to assist in their efforts. Nick pulled his helmet on, transforming into the dreaded person he had come to be, and said his goodbyes.
As Nick walked through the forest back to the warehouse, he focused on taking deep breaths and repeated Ryan’s words in his head.
Ryan’s concern took him by surprise. Nick almost wanted to believe that he was being given a second chance at having someone like Adler in his life. Someone to remind him who he was.
The warehouse was quiet and empty, just as he had left it. Nick finished out his shift on the roof, watching the stars and wondering if he would ever be able to view them in a peaceful state again.