Chapter 52
Two hours passed before Nick came upon a break in the woods.
Finally, a structure came into view—a small, one-story home.
Nick entered with caution and laid Kate down on a couch in the living room before searching the home for residents or Infected.
After ensuring the house was clear, Nick sat on the couch beside Kate, slipped off his helmet, and ran his fingers through his hair.
Kate remained fast asleep, taking deep, steady breaths.
Nick stood to find a hall closet and rummaged through the linens for a blanket.
He found one that was soft and made of fleece and draped it across her body to keep warm.
Nick pulled the velcro on his tactical vest and sat it in an armchair.
After wearing it for weeks, he felt a hundred pounds lighter.
He spent the next few hours pacing the floor, sifting through items in the home, and watching Kate sleep.
Nick sat beside Kate once again and stroked her hair, listening to the gentle inhalations and exhalations of her lungs. The sun had just begun its ascent over the earth, slipping through the curtains and casting a warm glow on the furniture.
Kate shifted from her side to her back. Her eyes burst open, taking in the strange surroundings in a panic.
“Hey, you’re okay. I’m here,” Nick cooed, sliding a warm hand up and down her arm. A breath of relief rushed from Kate’s mouth, and she sat up.
“Did they get out? Is everyone okay?” Kate asked.
“Yeah, baby. We got everyone out,” Nick answered.
Kate’s eyes sprawled across Nick’s body.
“Oh, God. Nick, you’re covered in blood. Are you hurt?” Kate plucked at pieces of his shirt where pools of red had dried.
“I’m fine. It’s not my blood.” Nick swatted away her concerned hands.
“Nick, there’s so much. How can you even be sure? Stand up,” Kate ordered and stood, waiting for him to comply.
Nick raised an eyebrow but did as he was asked.
Kate’s gaze washed over him, inspecting every inch until she gripped the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head.
She scrutinized his chest, then his stomach.
Walking around to his backside, Kate ran her hands across the zombie tattoo, searching for wounds.
Nick raised his arms and rested them against the back of his head to give her a clear view.
When she came back around to face him, Kate’s stare lingered on his face.
“Margot was force-feeding people contaminated meat to turn them into Infected. She created an army of them. When she figured out she was under attack, she had the guards release them. They never tried to attack me, but I had to cut down as many as I could,” Nick explained.
“I have to be sure,” Kate replied. She looked down to see that his black tactical pants were still damp and thick with the viscous fluid. Kate knelt, untied Nick’s boots, and pulled them off. Nick squinted his eyes, watching and contemplating her actions.
Kate stood and took a hesitant breath. Her fingers grasped the belt around Nick’s waist. Without looking up at him, she pulled the nylon fabric free from the loops and tossed it on the couch. Then, Kate pushed the button of his pants through the hole and pulled the zipper down.
Nick’s breath quickened as he watched Kate slide the pants to his ankles, but he remained frozen in place with his hands behind his head. After Nick kicked off the pants, Kate inspected his legs, brushing her hands along his calves and thighs for incisions hiding among the crimson stains.
She stood before him once more. Kate slid her fingers into the waistband of his boxers, and Nick’s breath hitched. Her fingernails lightly scraped against his skin as she pulled them down his legs. Once she reached his feet, Nick stepped out of them.
Nick’s heart hammered in his chest as he stood naked before her. Kate inspected him, walking a circle around him like a predator stalking its prey. When she made her way back to his gaze, Kate’s eyes devoured him from top to bottom.
Still scouring his flesh for injuries, Kate’s attention kept snagging on the biceps flexed behind his head.
Her eyes roamed his tattooed chest, heaving with apprehensive longing.
Every muscle in his body was rigid and battle-hardened.
With a striking, rugged appearance that commanded respect, Nick melted like butter in her presence, and she could not get enough.
“Get on your knees,” Kate ordered, taken aback by her demand. What the hell was she—Nick dropped to his knees. No questions. No confused glances. Only submission. “Why did you…”
Hands still behind his head, Nick smirked up at her.
“I already told you. You have all the power. You’re in control,” Nick answered. Kate’s eyes widened at the words spoken once more. She bit her lower lip, and a heat ravaged her core as she gazed at the most delicious, incredible, dedicated man she had ever known.
Kate stepped toward him and lowered herself to meet his eyes.
Soft fingertips raked the skin on his chest, sending an explosion of shivers across his body.
Nick’s jaw tightened as he fought the tension building below his waist. Kate’s hands joined at the base of his neck, and she pulled Nick’s lips to hers.
Her kiss was desperate with the things she did not know how to put into words.
Kate broke the connection and gripped the hem of her gown before pulling it over her head. As he watched, Nick’s lips parted slightly, letting out sharp exhales of desire. Kate unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor.
Nick’s eyes dropped only a moment, catching a quick glimpse of tender breasts before settling his gaze on her face.
Their bodies collided as Kate kissed him again, her bare chest pressed against his, making each of his muscles stiffen.
Kate realized he still had his hands restrained, and she pulled away.
“Nick, I need you to let it go,” Kate whispered.
“Let what go?” Nick’s brows furrowed at her words.
“Your war mode. I don’t need a soldier right now. I need you to touch me. I need to feel you.”
A hunger spread through Nick like wildfire. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing his mind to focus on Kate and the way his body craved her touch. Nick demanded his survival instincts to shut down and allowed himself to exist only in this moment.
Nick opened his eyes and leaned in to meet her lips, pushing deep into her mouth. Nick’s tongue entangled with hers. He pulled her legs around his waist and stood, carrying her to a bedroom down the hall. Nick laid Kate down at the end of the bed and stood over her, gauging her response.
Kate offered Nick a nervous half-smile, and he cocked his head to one side. He pulled her up into a sitting position and kneeled on the floor in front of her.
“What’s wrong?” Nick asked.
Kate glanced away. “My body is not normal. There are scars you’re going to see that are… not pretty,” Kate rambled, stumbling over ways to explain her mutilated appearance.
One side of Nick’s mouth turned up in a smile. “There isn’t anything I could see that would make me love you less.”
Kate tucked her thumb in her underwear and slid them off. Starting at her toes, Nick kissed her skin, savoring the soft warmth of her flesh. When Nick reached her thighs, Kate fell back onto the bed.
Nick pressed his lips to the white lines of scars etched into her skin. He kissed each burn mark, every portion of discolored flesh, and the places where the skin had been ripped away and healed over.
Every inch of Kate’s skin was explored, touched by Nick’s lips and caressed by his tongue as he gently worshipped her body. Kate’s sighs were a chorus of exaltation that drowned out the past. The sins of previous lovers and the transgressions of her abusers were buried as Nick glorified her.
Their connection sent Kate into a state of desperation, demanding Nick’s body closer to hers.
“Hey, let’s take it slow,” Nick said. Taking it slow was the last thing he wanted to do. He was aroused to the point of savagery. The stimulation had him light-headed.
“Why?” Kate breathed against his ear.
“I’m scared of hurting you,” Nick answered.
“I trust you.”
Nick willed his reservations to vanish and took their connection further than he thought reasonable.
Kate offering herself to him was not something he would handle in a tepid manner.
His movements were slow and deliberate, mapping out paths from scar to scar.
He was reading the story written across her skin and rewriting it with slow patience.
Though Nick initiated each touch, he focused on her breathing, her gestures, and her responses. Even the slightest detection of discomfort commanded Nick to change things up.
The trust they had built was no longer a fragile thing. It was a sacred oath. Every kiss was a promise. Every graze of his lips preserved their bond built on respect and restraint. The fear of being touched that would have encapsulated Kate long ago was distant, rotting in a basement far away.
In fact, with every collision of their flesh, Kate succumbed to a hunger; she was aching for more.
Nick wanted to take caution, and Kate was determined to break his vacillation.
He had crushed her idea that she could never be loved.
Nick had cut her insecurities into tiny pieces and scattered them along the road of a world left behind.
Everything she had to give, for all it was worth, belonged to him.
A heady feeling overtook her, and she unraveled beneath him.
The sensation had him plummeting toward the edge.
Nick conjured every unattractive thing he could think of to stay centered.
The picture Adam had drawn of him. The Infected with brain matter spilling down its chin. It had been so fucking long.
Kate’s moans dissipated to gentle gasps, and she eyed him, considering his tight jaw and serious expression. He was holding back.
“You’re allowed to enjoy this, you know,” she chided.
“Oh, I’m enjoying this.” Nick kissed the inside of her leg.
“Prove it,” Kate smirked and pulled herself up, straddling his waist. Her hips writhed against Nick’s body as her fingers tugged at his hair. He grunted against her neck as he kissed and bit at her soft, porcelain skin. Their bodies moved together in a passionate rhythm.
Kate crested over him like a wave. The control Nick had been holding onto crumbled.
For once, instead of going to war with himself, he relented.
Nick let Kate sweep him away to that place they had created.
A heavenly place that superseded any disease, was bereft of Infected, and free of the villains they had come to know.
He came undone, releasing a lifetime of pent-up grief and guilt.
Their bodies stilled until they were leaning against each other in a passionate, sweaty embrace.
Kate pressed a soft kiss to Nick’s jaw and pulled herself away.
Breathless, they met each other’s gaze—the intimacy she had feared all along had not reopened her wounds. Rather, it knitted them together.
“Holy shit,” Kate panted. Worries instantly built up in Nick’s mind. It was bad. It hurt. He went too far. Pushed too deep, too soon. “I didn’t know it could feel like that.”
Her words hit Nick with a thousand sympathetic thoughts. Had she ever been touched by someone who truly cared for her?
“I want to do that again!” Kate exclaimed.
Nick narrowed his eyes and wiped the sweat away from his brow. “Right now?”
Kate laughed. “No, you look exhausted. When’s the last time you slept?”
“I’m okay. I’ve gotten a little here and there,” Nick answered. “I’ll be right back.”
Nick left the room to gather their clothes, grabbing towels from the hall closet on his way back. He handed her one of the towels and used the other to wipe away sweat and other fluids from his body. Kate cleaned off, pulled on her underwear, and wrapped herself in the bed sheet.
“Lay down,” she instructed. Nick finished dressing and lay in the bed beside her. When Kate wrapped an arm around his shoulders, Nick nestled into her embrace and was asleep within seconds. Kate brushed a fingertip up and down his back, their passionate act creating a smile that refused to subside.
As Kate considered what she and Nick had done, she expected the wilted parts of her brain to activate.
She waited for an attack of insulting inner dialogue to pummel her.
Instead, all she felt was complete. Even the voice of Connor that lived inside her mind, quick to remind her of how shameful she was, remained quiet.