Chapter 15 Royal #2
I click my work mouse, and my usual nightly scans are running as they should.
No new notifications on Antonella’s phones for anything that would be suspicious.
No new disasters out at my 3D printers. There is a warning for a storehouse with a couple attempts to get into it, but it’s Uncle Neil’s number again.
What is it with him and passwords, and why is he so busy lately? I thought we were slowing down business operations with the truce and the holidays?
My phone vibrates, drawing me away from verifying the daily log entries.
Leticia:
No talking about work.
Would you rather have a secret that you couldn’t tell anyone or have to tell someone everything?
I drum my fingers on the desk, looking at my phone. If I pushed hard enough, would she tell me that her family wants her to spy on us?
Royal:
That one is hard. It’s a ‘it depends’ for me. What kind of secret? Who is the person I have to tell everything to? All my thoughts? Everything I do?
I’m leaning toward having to tell someone everything. At bare minimum, there’s a chance they’d go down with me as an accomplice or accomplice after the fact. Best case scenario: I get a friend who takes some of the icky off some of the work I do. I wouldn’t be alone in some of the trenches.
What about you?
I just gave her so many opportunities to ask probing questions and figure out more about what we do — what I do — so she could report to Gregorio and Berto.
Leticia:
Can we call?
Unexpected. My wolf tries to weasel his way closer to the screen, like getting closer to the monitor will put us closer to where she is.
Royal:
Of course. Call when ready.
The temptation arises to put her on surround sound in my room so that I can hear her voice all around me, but I slip my earbuds in instead.
When the phone rings, I hesitate. Should I record this call?
“Hey.” I answer before the second ring, pushing the recording idea out of my head. I can always start it if I need to.
“Hey.” Leticia’s voice is quiet but also small, almost vulnerable.
“You okay?” I watch on the screen as she rolls onto her side, the phone resting on the pillow next to her.
I’m jealous of her phone.
I’m jealous of a little bit of plastic and metal because it’s in bed with her and I’m not.
My feelings for her are getting out of hand. I’m becoming obsessed with her. I force myself to minimize the camera feed in her room. I twitch, wanting to reopen it again.
“I’m just feeling funny, and my answer to the ‘would you rather’ is complicated. It’ll make more sense when I talk it out rather than type it out.” Her voice is a little stronger.
“Yeah, texts don’t have tone, I get that.” I settle back into my chair and go back to double-checking the nightly report for errors.
“I also can’t pick between the two. Because on one hand, it’d be nice for someone to tell me something, a secret, that I can guard.
Something I get to know that not everybody else does.
It’s like every conversation around me ends abruptly with statements like ‘It’s not for women to know’ and ‘It doesn’t concern you.
’ But on the other hand, sometimes I get so incredibly lonely that maybe telling someone else every thought or thing that I do would be kind of nice.
” Leticia sighs, and my hand jerks to go to the computer that will bring up her room again.
I stop myself, gripping one hand with the other, squeezing so tight that I could hurt myself.
“Sounds like we’re both just looking for the right connection,” I answer and physically move my chair down the desk, away from that monitor.
“Connection would be really nice.” She agrees before falling silent.
I look for something to fill the silence, but it doesn’t feel tense, more like we’re hanging out.
“Can I ask you a weird question?” Leticia says after a minute.
“Always.” What sort of weird?
“Generally speaking, do you think it’s a turn off that I haven’t had an orgasm?” Her whole sentence sounds like she’s wincing, and again, I’m dying to see her.
“No.” I answer too quickly, so I draw a slow breath and try again. “No, it’s not. It makes sense, and for me, it’s alluring. To be able to unlock that with a partner could be really intimate, and I really want that for you.”
We want her. My wolf corrects. We want to do that for her.
But I don’t correct the statement aloud.
“You make it sound so magical.”
“It kinda is.” I laugh and focus for a second, typing in a line of code through a program patch. “A good partner can make you feel a lot more than just an orgasm.”
“Are you a good partner?” Leticia’s voice is soft again.
My restraint crumbles. I slide my chair back and flick on her room feed. She’s looking at the phone screen.
“If I say yes, do I sound conceited?” My cheeks and neck heat.
We’d make her come so hard. My wolf is salivating at the thought.
“No.” Leticia gives me the smallest little laugh. “I wanted a good partner someday, but now I’m afraid I’ll go through life and never experience the good stuff. I should have done so many things already.”
“There’s always time to change.” I try not to push her, and yet, feeling selfish, I do. “You can experience it tonight, if you want.”
“But what if someone is watching?” she whispers.
“Most of your basic security cameras don’t have night vision, and if you stay under the covers, no one can see anything.” I almost let it slip that no one is home, but she didn’t tell me that information. I knew from stalking her.
“Feels weird talking to a guy about this.” Leticia is a little breathy.
“Yeah, it can feel a little weird.” I attempt to soothe her. “I want to give you permission to take something you want for once instead of waiting for someone else. Wouldn’t want them to deny you.”
“What do I even do?” Leticia gives off a low groan, and the lump of covers moves as she pulls them over her head with the phone. “Not that you even have the same parts I do. Why am I asking such weird questions? Never mind.”
“No, not never mind.” I stop her panicked, almost frantic words.
“Not never mind?” she squeaks.
I smile, holding in a small laugh while watching her. She’s so perfect and oblivious.
Reassurance. My wolf agrees with me. She needs reassurance. We can help her.
“It’s not weird. There’s no shame in not knowing something.” I settle back into my chair. “I’ve had femme partners before. If you want, I’d be honored to walk you through how to come.”
Leticia’s side of the phone is silent except for her breathing.
“Or if you’d rather, you can experiment on your own, and we can call this good night?” I try to be okay with that possibility.
Tell her it’s better with a friend. Remind her what we said. My wolf urges with his territorial side, trying to overcome my self-restraint.
“What if I try alone and decide I need help?” Leticia is extremely hesitant, each word drawn out or delivered with a pause.
Rejection stings like a tearing bite, ripping open a wound of self-pity. “I’ll be up for a long time. There’s no rush.”
“Promise?” Leticia’s voice peaks.
“Promise.” I draw slow, steady breaths, controlling myself for a beat. “Call me if you need me. I might miss a text.”
Liar. My wolf snorts. He turns his back to me, pissed off that I gave her an out.
“Good night, Royal.” Leticia’s voice wavers in what I assume is uncertainty.
“Good night, Leticia,” I push out before disconnecting the call. Before I can beg her not to go.
Coward. My wolf huffs over his shoulder.
He’s not wrong.