Chapter 36
LETICIA
ANOTHER FIRST…
I forgot how tiring it is spending a whole day with a second grader, and to think Toni does this with a whole classroom.
With Kerrianne tucked into bed upstairs, Royal and I were mostly off the hook until his parents came home. Now we’re officially ‘off duty,’ and the first thing I did was change back into Royal’s oversized T-shirt and pajama bottoms.
I pull the fabric up to my nose, drawing in the strong masculine scent of him again. The inhale and exhale send a wave of relaxation through my whole body.
Royal is sitting at his desk when I come back, his fingers flying over the keyboard. The screen is black with green letters, like the old-school computer games on floppy disks we used to play in elementary school.
“Work?” I ask, leaning against the back of his chair.
Even seated, he’s so tall that I can rest my head on his shoulder rather than on top of his head.
He hits the Enter key on his keyboard a couple of times and nods silently. I let him concentrate, just standing there content to watch as he does his work.
A few minutes later, he leans his head against mine.
“Yeah, just a temporary security patch. The client had an idiot employee open an attachment for some malware. My data scrubber got it out of their system, but it left a back door wide open, so I’m just running some code to make sure it’s patched. ”
“It’s cool that you can do all that.” I wrap my arms around his shoulders, hugging him.
Royal picks up one of my hands and brings it to his mouth, kissing the back of it, then along my thumb before turning my wrist over and kissing the inside of it. “It’s all in a day’s work. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted. Kerrianne knows how to take it out of you.”
“All out of you?” I stop breathing, wondering if he’ll get the meaning behind my words.
“I wouldn’t say all out of me.” Royal’s kisses turn a little more heated, and his tongue brushes against my skin. “What do you have in mind?”
“Well.” Indecision hits hard as I try to ask for something but don’t know how to say the words. “I-I’m not quite . . .”
Royal takes pity on me, nuzzling against my head before turning slightly to look at me. “More of what we’ve already done or something new?”
I dislodge myself from hugging him and let him turn to see me. “I don’t want to leave any firsts for someone else to ruin.”
With a solemn nod, Royal’s eyes turn calculating, moving back and forth a little, like the code on the screen did. “There’s a lot we could try, but some of it should be done with warming up and practice. It’s not something that should be done just on a whim.”
“Oh.” I try not to let disappointment hang in my voice.
“How have your cramps been?” He turns his chair to face me, and god, how I want to climb into his lap.
“They’re fine, not as bad as they have been.” I brush it off like I normally would, like my mother and the doctor do.
“I noticed you had a bad one while helping Kerrianne. I should have offered to get you something.” Royal hangs his head a bit.
“If it was really bad, I would have gone and gotten something.” I reassure him. “But what does that have to do with trying something new?”
“Well, you’ve said you’re not interested in having oral performed on you while you’re bleeding. So I was thinking we could play with your luscious ass.” He bites his bottom lip before slowly letting it go.
“Oh.” That hadn’t even occurred to me.
“When you say ‘oh’ like that, it lets me know I missed the mark. What were you thinking?” Royal is so unfazed by my response. It’s like he’s discussing the weather more so than sex.
“How did you get so good at talking about sex?” I hide my heated face behind my hands.
Royal pulls my hands away one at a time. “I’ve had a number of partners and found that it’s easier to just ask for what I want rather than expect someone to read my mind.”
I try to take his words to heart. “I feel it’s been a lot about me and not enough about you. I want to make you feel good too.”
Royal is shaking his head before I finish my statement. “Not how I feel at all.”
“You’re sure?” I try to step back from him to examine everything about him.
But he doesn’t let me. He wraps his arms around my ass and drags me to him until my knees buckle and I’m pulled onto his lap.
When we’re nose to nose, he answers. “We took yesterday nice and slow, but both of us had orgasms. At the end, we both expressed satisfaction.”
“Okay.” I settle in on his lap.
He’s given me everything I’ve wanted, even if I haven’t been able to ask.
“I don’t want to push you too far too fast. I understand wanting to be able to do this all on your own terms, I respect that, but I don’t want you to do things because you’re feeling like this is the only chance to make it happen.” He nuzzles against my shoulder, and I rest my head on his.
“This could be my only chance.” I fist his shirt, disliking the way reality keeps finding its way into the bubble of false hope and the fake future I’ve made with him.
He doesn’t say anything, not for a long while. He draws deep breaths and relaxes into both the seat and on my shoulder, and for a little bit, I wonder if Royal fell asleep.
“Some people get off giving oral sex. But it isn’t hard to have a decent first time doing it.
The mechanics are pretty straightforward.
” Royal runs a hand up my spine. “But anal is a bit of a different beast. It can really hurt if someone doesn’t take the time to work you up to their cock.
And I never recommend taking a cock during your first time. ”
I stiffen as he trails his hand back down, caressing and then palming my ass.
“What do you recommend?” I manage to get out in a whisper.
“A small toy or a finger or two,” he whispers back.
Nodding, I agree. “Yes, let’s do that.”
He grips the globe of my butt a little tighter, and his eyes turn that goldish-brown color. “I was hoping you’d say yes.”
Like I weigh nothing, Royal stands from the chair, carrying me to the bed. He gently sets me down on it and slides his hands up my pajama-clad legs, the ruffling of the fabric tickling at my skin. Once he makes it to the waistband, he slowly draws the bottoms down.
When I shiver, Royal smiles. “Let’s get you warmed up.” He wraps his fingers around my ankle and pulls my leg, dragging me across the bed toward him. He reaches past me and pulls the covers down before he stops and laughs. “Okay, this was way sexier in my head.”
The laugh breaks all the tension. My nerves fizzle off, and I back myself up over the lump of covers he made to be more central on the bed.
“Thank you, m’lady.” He tips a nonexistent hat to me.
“How do you do that?” I sigh, looking at him. The messy hair and relaxed posture, it’s so effortless.
“Do what?” Royal shrugs, but his eyes are roaming my body.
“Make sex not scary.” I sit up a little bit on the bed.
Royal steps over to his toy cabinet but keeps his eyes on me. “Sex isn’t supposed to be scary. It’s supposed to be fun. If you can’t laugh every now and then during it, then what’s the point?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure.” I curl my knees up to my chest, a cramp hitting me hard.
“Cramp?” Royal stops opening his toy cabinet and steps back to the bed.
I nod. “It’ll pass.”
“It’s such bullshit women have to deal with this.” Royal comes to sit next to me on the bed and runs his fingers through my hair. “Cramping during wolves’ heats usually just means you’re ready for another orgasm, but it doesn’t sound like that for humans.”
“I mean, I wouldn’t turn down an orgasm.” I lean into him, drawing in a deep breath of that sweet chocolaty scent I’ve come to find comfort in.
“Good.” He aggressively kisses the top of my head with an overexaggerated smack of his lips. “Let me get a heat pad for your cramps, and then I’ll make sure you’re well fucked and ready for cuddles and sleep.”
I’m about to argue with him that he doesn’t need to get me a heating pad, that he doesn’t have to take such good care of me, but Royal is gone before I can even open my mouth.
He wants to take care of me. I don’t remember a time when someone wanted to take care of me like this. Tears well up in my eyes, and I wipe them away, begging them to stop before he gets back. Not sexy, Leticia.
Royal is back before I get my eyes to stop leaking tears.
There isn’t a single second of hesitation. He plugs the heating pad in and lays it behind me on the bed before wrapping me in his arms and snuggling me close. We lie on the bed together, chest to chest, the warmth of the heating pad soaking through my T-shirt and skin.
His touch is tender as he dries my tears. Then he kisses me soft and sweetly.
But I don’t want to just be comforted. I want the orgasm he promised. I want to feel relief and shed the unwanted emotions.
I tug at the hem of his shirt, hoping he understands what I want, what I need.
Royal moves, letting me help him pull the cotton over the top of his head. He discards it onto the floor.
When I start tugging mine up, Royal’s hands find mine, and he helps.
The way he drags his fingers along my skin pulls a heated gasp from my chest. He presses his lips against my navel, kissing as he works his way up my chest, before he finally discards the shirt.
I took my bra off when I put my pajamas on, so I’m left in a pair of panties and nothing else.
Warmth envelops me on all sides as Royal pulls a blanket over me. Wordlessly, he slips out of bed and over to his toy cabinet.
Butterflies swarm my stomach as I don’t know what to expect, but I’m relieved he didn’t take my tears for disinterest.
He sets whatever he collected on the nightstand and comes back under the blanket with me.
When he kisses me, it’s deep and meaningful. Every part of me knows how to respond, and I do. There are so many things I can’t tell him. That I want to tell him but would be forbidden to speak out loud. They all lead back to how I feel and what I want between us.