Chapter Forty-Eight
Drew
“Everything alright in here?” Deeks asked, poking his head around the door before giving either of us a chance to move. Even though Ayda was by my side and I’d managed to calm a little, my body was still tensing every time someone made an unexpected move near me.
Running my hand up and down her arm, I nodded tightly towards him, glancing down at her briefly before guiding us both towards the others.
There was a part of me that wanted to crouch down in front of her and double, triple check that she knew what she’d just said.
But it was all washed away by the look she gave me as she peeked up through her lashes and pulled at my waist even harder.
Ignoring the mess I was leaving behind, I flared my nostrils and took a step out towards the others, pulling in a huge breath to try and regain a sense of power or control.
When we entered the room, there were still three men standing in front of us.
Deeks had his hands on his waist, his face relaxed, even though it was clear he was deep in thought.
Kenny was twitching. His hands ran up and down over the back of his head and neck a dozen times while I stared at him, and I caught his glance at Ayda, too.
Part of me felt almost sorry for the guy.
It was obvious he cared for her. I was choosing to see that as a good thing.
Then there was Tate. Tate, who was standing taller than the two of them, his chest puffed out and a new redness to his cheeks as he raised his chin to the ceiling, trying to look down on me while he bounced on the balls of his feet.
I’d seen that look before. I’d worn it myself as a kid.
That was the look of a boy who was about to turn into a man.
That was the look of a child that saw his life through adult eyes for the first time.
It was the look of hunger, and all I could hope, as I curled my fingers tighter around Ayda’s arm, was that she was still too shell-shocked to notice it.
“I’d have had more luck getting a newborn to sleep,” Deeks muttered quietly, nodding over to Tate before he rolled his eyes.
“Like I could sleep after that,” Tate grumbled.
“It’s okay,” Ayda said quietly, nodding at her brother in understanding, some kind of silent communication going on between them in little gestures.
“Do what you gotta do, kid.” I smiled flatly.
Deeks moved forward, closing the gap between us and glancing over his shoulder at the other two as he did. When he made it so he was close enough, he brought a hand to his face and rubbed it along his chin. “The others will be here soon.”
“Good,” I responded quietly. “Any attacks on The Hut?”
“Not one. But they had it locked up nice and early. CCTV ain’t showing anything on the streets, either.”
Slowly blowing out all the air in my cheeks, I gave him another small nod and looked up into his eyes, then at the others.
Deeks looked tired. More tired than I’d ever seen him, but then so did everyone.
Tate looked like he’d gained at least another three years since he played on the field that night, and Kenny…
Kenny looked about ready to pass out. That was the trouble with adrenaline.
It got you so far, and while that shit was pumping through you, you may as well have been Superman.
But once it started to roll away, once that buzz beneath your skin started to fade and the tight rush in your stomach eased up, the come down was shit.
Everything hurt more. Everything hit harder.
The reality of what could have happened sunk in, until all you were left with was a reminder of your own mortality, and a throbbing pain on your skin from where death just tapped you on the shoulder.
“You guys did good out there,” I said quietly.
“If it hadn’t been for what y’all did, I can’t even begin to fucking think where we’d be right now.
I owe you for keeping each other alive.” My eyes drifted down to Ayda, tucked under my arm.
I couldn’t say what I really needed to in front of three men.
Anything like that was sacred to her and her alone.
I’d just have to wait and bide my time to tell her what was strangling me.
“That’s what brothers do,” Kenny spoke up beside me.
“That’s what brothers do,” Deeks repeated.
Tate didn’t get a chance to say anything before the sound of Harleys filled the air again.
Jedd’s roared up front before anyone else’s.
It didn’t take them long to burst through the door, and when they did, few words were exchanged.
Just like before I went inside, any time we’d had a close call, we greeted one another with that odd, manly affection of ours.
Slaps on the back, sighs of relief, grunts of love passed from one person to the next, until the room went from five people one minute, to fifteen in the next.
I didn’t let Ayda go. I’d only just got her back, and the thoughts of what could have been were still too fucking raw in my mind.
Not being able to touch her would hurt as much as losing a limb.
I’d lose a fucking limb any day over that.
Her body didn’t tense in mine the way it once did, not even when each man passed us by, hitting me with reassurance and kissing her with endearment.
She soaked it up, her eyes closing with every touch, her smile growing as her body gained strength from mine.
Jedd was the one to pull us all out of the moment. His hands found my shoulders, his knees bending slightly as he assessed the look on my face the way he always used to do before I got put in the ring.
“Status?” he snapped at me quietly.
“Solid,” I hit back.
“Let me check the bullshit meter…”
“Yours or mine?”
“Mine.”
“Is it even on?”
“Can’t be sure. It’s struggling to read you at the minute.
It’s been a while. I’ve slept a lot since you got put inside and there have been few people I’ve had to do this to.
” Jedd’s smirk broke free, but there was no real emotion behind it.
It was his way of trying to placate me, put me at ease and force me to look into his eyes to let me know he was there. They were all there.
“I’m good, bro,” I said calmly, my eyes meeting his.
“Kenny mentioned gunshots.” His gaze drifted to the woman beside me again, almost as though he was trying to figure out if his questions were better directed at her than me.
This time it was my turn to look away. The memory of tearing down the road and seeing the flames while those bastard Emperors ran out onto the lawn and tried to chase after the people who mattered most to me in life was too fucking much.
The rage I’d just let go of was still lingering.
Glancing over Jedd’s shoulder, I scanned around the half circle of men in front of me.
Deeks, Kenny, Slater, Harry… they were all there.
Other brothers who may not have been my right-hand men, but who I knew would take a bullet to the brain if it meant saving my skin and letting me live another day.
They were there, watching, listening, waiting.
Every single one of them would grant me with truth and honesty if I asked them of it. It was my turn to do the same.
Rolling my head back to look into Jedd’s eyes, I set my jaw tight and spoke quietly. “Those were mine. I didn’t give them chance to pull their weapons from their cuts.”
Silence lingered for a while before anyone spoke, but I didn’t miss the tightening of both Ayda’s fingers around my waist and Jedd’s upon my shoulders.
“You fired at them?” he asked.
“No.”
“No?”
“I didn’t just fire at them,” I answered. “I killed them.”
“Fuck, Drew.”
“Three of them. Maybe four. I only drove away when I was certain bodies were falling hard.”
“It was four, I think,” Ayda whispered, her weight growing as she leaned more of herself against me. “There was one at all four sides, before some asshole crawled under the house and cut the gas line.”
I didn’t look away from Jedd as she spoke, instead just nodding sideways to her in acknowledgement before answering him again.
“Ayda says four. It was four.” There wasn’t anything I wanted to think about less than those fucking assholes that had tried to hurt her.
Four didn’t seem enough. It would never be enough, no matter how safe she was now or how safe I kept her in the future.
Not enough men died to sate my thirst for more blood.
Jedd could see the look that was growing on my face as I glared at him. I was projecting my anger out.
“I know that look, Drew,” he whispered, pulling back and standing up straight as his hands dropped from me to his side. “We can’t go there.”
“Go there?” I huffed out. My eyes widened as I looked up at him. “Go there? You have no idea where I’m at in my head, Thomas. If you think that I’m going to walk away from this and hope I don’t get caught for killing those men, you’re wrong. You couldn’t be more wrong if you tried.”
The sound of leather creaking filled the room and I knew my brothers’ stances were shifting. I could imagine the widening of their feet, the crossing of their arms and the raising of their chins as they all cut through the bullshit and decided to finally pay attention.
“You could end up back inside,” he muttered down on me.
“They tried to kill Ayda.” I glared at him.
“That’s not in dispute, Drew. They didn’t just try to hurt Ayda and Tate, they tried to kill two of our men. This has to do with Hernandez. They have to know.”
“Hernandez?” Deeks spoke up behind him. Jedd stepped out of the way quietly, falling in line beside me and allowing me to look out at the others properly for the first time, with no obstructions.