Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
AYDA
Those words, his words, bounced off the surface of my skull as Drew drove deeply into me and came. Even as I collapsed against the bed and accepted his weight over mine, they played over and over again in my mind. They became louder and louder until I couldn’t bite my tongue for a second longer.
“I would wait a dozen lifetimes for you, Drew.” I shifted enough to pull my arms free, my hand cupping his cheek, as the other lay pressed against my shoulder.
He looked sad. So damn sad and weighted. The ecstasy and the fog of excitement were lifting as he pulled in several breaths and studied me.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” he eventually whispered, shaking his head. “I am so fucking sorry.”
I held his gaze, not allowing him to abandon me now. Not after what we’d just done together. “I’m sorry it took me so long to find you.”
“I get lost easily.”
Shifting under him, I inhaled as deeply as I could, unwilling to lose the connection between our bodies yet. Tangling my legs in his, I took the time to get my words in order.
The weeks since we’d lost Harry had been hard, but watching Drew dig a hole to bury himself in had been harder. That didn’t mean that every pain I’d been through hadn’t been worth it to have this moment with him.
To have him back.
“Are you serious about getting married, Drew?”
He scowled, but only for a second. “Deadly.”
“Are you serious about it being soon?”
“We should be married already. It’s my fault you’ve had to wait.”
I stroked his cheek again and smiled as my lips brushed against his. “You did what you had to do. But… do you think we could get one of the boys ordained online?”
Drew’s smirk broke free. “You have low standards for a high-quality piece of ass, you know that, darlin’?”
My giggle came easier than it had in weeks. “What does that even mean?”
“It means,” he said through a groan as he slowly pulled out of me and repositioned himself, breathing a heavy sigh over my chest. His arms trapped me in on either side, and he pressed his body down on mine.
“It means aim higher, Ayda. Do the bridal magazine shit you’ve been dreaming of.
Big dress. Too many flowers. Make me step up and deliver what you deserve.
Don’t do what you’re planning to do just to get me down the aisle quicker.
You deserve more than grease-soaked boots and Deeks stumbling over our vows, and it’s about time you realized it.
” Drew’s thumbs brushed the apples of both my cheeks.
“It’s about time I reminded you, too. Harry would fucking kill me if I rushed this through, even if I’d marry you right now with a priest hanging over my naked ass.
” His face twisted in pain as Harry’s name passed through his lips.
“We can do it quickly, but let’s do it right. ”
“Jesus, every single one of the whores out there is jealous of me already. If only they knew how thoughtful you are when there’s no one else watching.
” I ran my hands through his hair and scratched his scalp with my nails.
“I love that you want a big wedding with all the bells and whistles for me, but all I care about is that you’re my husband.
” I dropped my eyes from his and smiled.
“And that I’m your wife. Mrs. Ayda Tucker.
” I snorted, my cheeks heating as a wave of absurd shyness rolled over me.
“Mrs. Ayda Tucker.” His smile grew slowly. “You sure you can handle that?”
I hummed. “What, do you want to be Mr. Drew Hanagan? Mix up convention and take on my name instead? That’s very progressive of you.”
“That depends. Would you rather me fuck you like I’m big, bad Tucker, or fuck you like I’m Mr. Hanagan?”
I threw a leg over his hip, my toes pushing his ass closer against me. “Point taken. Mrs. Tucker it is.”
I pushed up on my elbows and looked down on our bodies twisted together. I wasn’t looking for anything aside from the blankets now. The room was beginning to cool down, and the sweat on my body was speeding it along, even with my Drew blanket on.
“Although, I should remind you that I was just as much a part of the fucking today as you were.”
“You’re always the bullet, darlin’. I’m just the gun that needs pointing in the right direction.” Drew winked at me. Something he hadn’t done in so long, and the action was so simple, he hadn’t even realized its significance, but the small smile that followed that wink said enough for me.
I brushed my sweaty hair from my face, my aching body starting to complain at the exertion of the old war wounds that I actually found myself coveting now. I looked over at him again and met his eyes. “What now?”
“Get this blood off me,” he said, his smile fading quickly. “I need to do something gentle with you. I need to wash you, and have you wash me.”
“We can do that. Then would you sleep with me tonight?” Hold me like you’re never going to let go, I added silently.
“And every night after that.” He pinched my chin between his finger and thumb. “I meant what I said, Ayda. I’m sorry.”
I knew he meant it because I could see it.
I may not have been able to clarify that to anyone else.
How could I possibly explain the depth of the man behind those blue-green eyes when he was present?
Or the absence of him when he was in the deepest depths of his grief?
That knowledge was just something that was there within me, and it was something that I would never take for granted again.
Drew took charge, rolling from the bed and pulling me with him across the room. He sat me on the sink as he started the water, kissing my neck and shoulders with reverence as he waited for the water to heat up before he helped me inside the shower.
We took our time washing one another, our hands wandering over wet, soapy flesh.
It was less frenetic than the last time we'd been in there together but no less needy.
Drew spent a while exploring my bruises, his touch gentle as he placed his hands over his own fingerprints, his lips even softer as they brushed over them in silent apology.
I did the same. I wasn't sure which bruises on his body had been issued by me, but I explored them all and left the same silent apologies he had.
Hands inevitably wandered into sensitive areas after that, stroking, seeking, petting and probing until our breaths grew rapid, my legs became weak, and the water began to run cold.
This time, he carried me from the shower to the bed wrapped in a towel that he used to dry and tease my body with. There was no violence left in us, just adoration and a need for one another that never seemed to dissipate. I never wanted it to.
We made love and passed out tangled in one another, and for the first time in weeks, I slept deep and well with the man I worshipped lying next to me.
I woke up alone the next morning, but there was a vague memory of a kiss to my forehead as the sun began filling the room, as well as a whispered admission of love before I fell back asleep.
This was reinforced by the fullness that seemed to surround my heart, and the smile I couldn’t seem to get rid of.
Gone was the ever-present sense of dread and fear that had followed me around like a shadow.
Life wasn’t perfect. It probably never would be but having Drew by my side meant whatever nightmare was thrown at us next would be a little easier to face.
Then I remembered he still wanted to marry me.
Soon.
My smile spread like the sun at dawn, and I rolled into his pillow and buried my face there, breathing him in until he was all I could smell.
I wrapped him around me and held all of the hope I’d somehow regained even closer.
In one night with him, weeks of anxiety and panic had finally eased off, and my world was slowly starting to turn again.
I sure wasn’t leading the charge for feminism with that kind of thinking, but when you were this deep in love—when you were this surrounded by the things you wanted most in life, did that really make any difference?
Nope.
Not even a little bit.
Especially not when my body was aching so delightfully from the night before.
I could have basked in the memories for hours, but in The Hut, peace was subjective to the goings on at any given time. Today wasn’t going to allow me what I wanted, and that came in the form of a knock.
“Who is it?” I called out, pulling the comforter over my body and glaring at the clock next to the bed.
“Kenny.”
“Is it urgent?”
“Depends.” I could hear the smile in his voice, but that didn’t leave me any less confident. His idea and my idea of urgency were utterly different.
“Five minutes.”
“You got it. I’ll make some coffee.”
“Perfect. Thanks, Kenny.”
I listened to the heavy fall of his boots move away from the door until they blended into the constant din of noise that filled The Hut every hour of every day, and I peeled the blankets away from my body with a sigh of resignation.
It didn’t take me long to get ready. A quick shower, a brush of my teeth, and I was padding through the bar wearing my usual jeans, a tank top, and a hoodie before slipping onto a stool and making grabby hands at the mug Kenny was holding out for me.
“Morning, sunshine.”
I wrapped both hands around the mug and slid it to me with a grin of my own. “Good morning.”
“Good?”
“Are you about to ruin it for me?” I asked, inhaling the scent of coffee before taking a sip.
“Possibly. Sloane called me from school.”
I groaned and made a hand gesture for him to continue.
“We have a problem.”
“Tate?” I asked, sliding the mug onto the counter and covering my eyes.
“Nope.”
“Rubin?” I asked, peeking between my fingers.
Kenny shook his head.
“Then who?” I dropped my hands and glared at him.
Kenny’s smile just grew. He was actually enjoying this. “Libby.”
“Libby? She’s not even in high school.”
“She was there all right, and from what I understand, she was confronting a girl Tate was flirting with.”
I took a moment, picking up my coffee and taking a mouthful. Had I been so lost in my own drama that I’d missed something going bad between Tate and Libby? Was this jealousy a new thing for her?
“Why am I just hearing about this now?”
“It’s the first time she’s gone there by herself… like this.”
“You know what I mean, Kenny. When did Libby start getting jealous, and how long has Tate been flirting with other girls?”
Kenny reached for a beer and popped the top, taking a mouthful as he shrugged before dropping his beer down again.
“Tate’s always been a flirt. Even Sloane’s said that.
Libby… well, he hasn’t been hanging with her much, so I guess that’s a recent development.
Thing is, someone’s gotta get her before Sutton gets called out by the principal. ”
“And you can’t do it because…?”
“I have to work.”
“Liar. You work for the club.”
“Fine.” He smirked.” I don’t want to get in the middle of my boy’s drama.”
“That sounds closer to the truth.” I sighed and took another mouthful of my coffee before setting it down on the counter again. “I’ll go, but you owe me.”
“This is why I love you, Ayda.”
“Yeah, well, I’m gonna make sure the payback is your worst kind of nightmare.”
“I have no doubt about it.” He chuckled roughly.
I rolled my eyes and got up. “Tell Drew where I am if he comes back while I’m gone.”
I didn’t wait for an answer or any more questions.
I had to go and get Libby before all hell broke loose.
Of all the problems I’d thought could possibly arise today, this hadn’t been one of them.
Libby. I still couldn’t quite believe it, but I also dreaded the thought of how this was going to go down because the girl wasn’t shy like Tate’s ex, Sloane.
This was going to be fun for me.