20. Harper
CHAPTER TWENTY
harper
With every new guy I met, I was reminded a little more of why I'd never had a steady boyfriend.
Werewolves weren't intimidated by me the way human guys sometimes were, but they were still… men.
I was attracted to them, but that was about it.
They were all either too nice, too boring, too full of themselves, or we just didn't vibe.
It didn’t help that I couldn't stop remembering the way Rhone had gone down on me without expecting me to reciprocate for more than an hour the night before.
How was I supposed to imagine a guy I didn't know caring enough to do the same? And yeah, whatever Rhone and I had wasn't caring, but it was something. It felt real, even though he was so vocal about it being unimportant and emotions being an impossibility.
When the tenth dud walked away, I stared at his ass, trying to convince myself to feel something for him.
Attraction would've been nice. His butt was fantastic.
Humor would've been cool, too. He'd tried to make a handful of jokes.
Peace would've been fantastic. If someone made me feel comfortable with myself, I'd mate with them in a heartbeat.
Feeling anything would've been fine.
I didn’t, though.
I just wanted blood.
I'd taken plenty from Rhone earlier, but the stress of meeting new people and trying to imagine myself permanently mated to them was making me hangry.
"This isn't working," I told Bloom. I tried to sound sad, but it didn't work. I just sounded tired.
"You'll hit it off with someone," Bloom said, trying to sound upbeat.
She had always hated dating even more than I did. She probably itched to get back to her paperwork.
"Maybe I should just mate with Rhone and accept that he's going to be a nightmare to deal with for the rest of my life."
"No." Bloom shot me a look. "The mental connection is really intense. You can't bond with someone you don't like just because the sex is good. You'd regret it, or you'd devolve."
"Maybe I'd regret it and devolve."
"Which is why you're not doing it. You're going to find someone who makes you feel amazing, and not just in bed. Rhone isn't that person."
"I don't hate him anymore. I actually like him. He's… Rhone. And he's really fucking hot."
"He's a werewolf, Harper. They're all hot. Get your head in the game. Which guy was your favorite so far?"
"None of them?" I glanced her way. "Am I allowed to say that?"
She'd been taking notes during my short dates, because she was Bloom.
"I guess. You have to pick a favorite after the next ten, though. I can set up a longer date."
I made a face. "Fine."
She called the next guy in.
I forgot his name as soon as he said it.
The conversation felt like pulling teeth.
"What do you like to do?" the guy asked, pleasantly.
Drink blood.
Zone out.
Fuck Rhone.
"Work was always my life," I said. "I'm still trying to figure out what I like to do now that I've changed."
"That must be a pretty big transition."
"Yeah." That was an understatement.
"You were Steven's secretary, right?" he asked.
Steven.
I hadn't had a nightmare about his death in the entire time I'd been with Rhone.
I actually slept when I was with him.
My chest tightened at the reminder of the man I had killed.
It had been two weeks since I thought about him.
About the way the life drained from his eyes.
The way the color slowly left his skin.
I breathed out slowly and managed to get out one word. The same one I'd already used. "Yeah.”
"Rhone still has you working as a secretary, doesn't he?" the guy asked, completely unaware of the way I was losing my mental shit.
"We don't need to talk about Rhone," Bloom said quickly.
"He's trying. Hasn't accepted that I can't go back to it." My voice strained.
"Have you thought about getting a different job? When we were working with other turned vampires in the past, having something to do regularly usually helped. There are always things to do around the tower, so—" His gaze lifted, and he cut himself off.
Bloom looked where he was looking, and she went pale.
I finally turned my head… and found Rhone striding across the massive dining area, looking absolutely livid.
"Shit," Bloom whispered.
I rose to my feet. "I'll deal with him."
"I can—" she started, but I was already covering the ground between us, trying to look more irritated than shaken up.
"What are you doing here?" I called out. "I told you I was going to mate with someone else, remember?"
"I said no," he called back.
There were eyes on us.
So many eyes.
I wasn't sure how he'd respond to that, or how furious he'd be that people were watching. He had a serious issue with PDA, as the kiss situation had proven.
When we'd almost reached each other, his nostrils flared.
His eyes began to glow.
I stopped abruptly.
Rhone didn't.
"Holy fuck," Bloom breathed behind me.
Rhone crashed into me, spinning me around as he took me to the floor. It caught me off guard so severely that I didn't try to fight him.
He took my weight, so the fall didn't hurt. My face collided with his hand, blocking my nose from the tile, and he held me up with a hand to my hip.
Then, he sank his fangs into the back of my neck.
My lips parted as liquid heat blazed through me, my need overwhelming. My hips arched, pressing my ass to his erection, and he snarled against the back of my neck as he released my skin.
There was a vicious ache in some part of my head. It felt like my mind was growing, somehow. Changing. I didn't know why.
Not until Rhone rolled us sideways and hauled me off the ground.
And I saw the brutal, still-healing bite wounds I'd left on his wrist.
Everything registered, then.
I'd bitten him that morning.
He'd bitten me, too.
We were mated.
My hips arched again.
My need was unreal, and the slickness between my thighs was intense.
Rhone's grip on me changed as he carried me out of the dining room and to the nearest door, which happened to be a stairwell. He took the stairs two at a time, but it was a long way up to the floor where we lived.
"Ahh." I winced, lifting a palm to my temple as the pain in my head flared again. "What is that?"
I was still horny, but it hurt.
"Mental bond," Rhone gritted out.
"Your eyes glowed. It was fate, right?"
"Yeah." He didn't sound happy about it.
He actually sounded pretty fucking pissed about it.
"Did you know it was going to happen?"
"Of course not," he growled. "No one knows if or when fate's going to intervene."
"Did you think we were fated? Is that why you were so possessive?"
"No. I knew it was a possibility because of your scent, but fate fucks with werewolves without matching them all the time."
I swore as he jostled me a little, and the stretching sensation in my mind grew more severe. My eyes burned with tears at the sheer overwhelm of it. "How long will it hurt?"
"I don't know." He adjusted his hold on me, and his steps grew noticeably smoother.
At least my horniness was fading.
"My phone's next to Bloom," I whispered. "In the cafeteria."
"I'll get it later."
"What does this mean for us? For me?"
Rhone didn't answer.
My throat swelled, and I didn't ask any more questions.
Not as he carried me to my apartment.
Not as he set me down in the bathroom and started the shower, growling quietly that I needed to wash everyone else's scent off my skin.
He didn't even say anything while I stripped, or stepped beneath the water.
The shower's glass walls felt too transparent as he leaned up against the cabinets, facing the door instead of me.
My body trembled, just a little bit.
We were mates.
Permanently.
Unbreakably.
Fate had intervened, but that didn't make the link between us any less real or any less permanent.
Rhone was the only person I would ever be with again.
The only person I would ever bite.
The only romantic partner I would ever have.
And he didn't want me. Not really.
I'd never been a cheater, and I never would be. I valued loyalty too much, and cared too deeply. I knew what it was like to be a burden. To be unwanted by the people you wanted to love you the most.
I would be Rhone's, even if he eventually wished I wasn't or regretted what we had become.
I lifted a shaky hand to the back of my neck. The water wasn't stinging the skin, so I knew the wound had healed already. Bloom had mentioned that mate bites scarred quickly.
My fingers brushed bumpy, uneven skin.
I closed my eyes, turning my back to Rhone.
Given my adoration for short bobs, it would always be on obvious display.
The idea gave me a little bit of dark thrill.
Someone banged loudly on my apartment's door, and when I glanced over, I caught Rhone's back as he left the bathroom.
It would be Bloom and Maverick.
No one else would dare knock on our door right after Rhone bit me.
They didn't like either of us enough to take that risk.
Growling erupted as soon as the door opened.
I turned the shower off so I could hear what the guys were saying. Bloom was already slipping into the bathroom, shutting the door behind herself while I grabbed a towel off a hook.
She gave me a tight smile. "You okay?"
"It's debatable."
"Yeah. That was... something. Can I see your neck?"
I turned around, showing her the scarred wound.
She made a strangled sound. "That is... also something."
"Is it brutal?"
"Very. I'm sorry. Maverick said werewolves almost never bite the back of their mates' necks. It's seen as scandalous, or savage. Dangerous rural wolves are the only ones who do, usually. I think I get it, now."
That little streak of dark thrill widened.
Giving me the most savage kind of mate bite was a very Rhone-like thing to do. Even possessed by fate to bite me, he was still himself.
"Don't be sorry. It fits us."
Us.
It was insane that Rhone and I were an us.
And he'd still brought me back to my apartment, because of course he had.
He didn't want me. Not completely. I needed to remember that. To drill it into my fucking skull before I started letting myself feel things I shouldn't.
The fact that he was the brightest part of my now-immortal life made it much harder.
"Why did he bring you here?" Bloom gestured toward my apartment. "Why not his place?"
I rolled my eyes, suppressing the emotions I couldn't seem to stop myself from feeling. "When he offered to mate with me before, he said we could live apart. Have normal lives aside from the mate bond. I told him I wasn't interested in that, but he seems to have decided that he is."
"There's no way he's going to stick to that." Bloom shook her head. "Werewolves usually abduct their mates right after fate gets involved. He's going to want you in his space."
"He clearly doesn't."
"He's fighting instinct, but he's going to give in."
I made a noncommittal noise. "Rhone doesn't really do that."
"Harper, you had to publicly strip to stop him from killing the guy you fucked. He has feelings for you."
"He says he's protecting me for you and Maverick."
"Then he's lying to both you and himself."
"Maybe."
"Definitely."
I made a noncommittal sound.
Bloom gave me a quick hug, not giving a shit about the towel. "He's going to make you shower again when you smell like me. Sorry." She squeezed me tighter. "I know this isn't what you wanted, but after everything with Mav, I believe in fate. I think it's going to be great."
"Here's hoping," I whispered.