23. Harper
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
harper
When I was done, I leaned against Rhone's chest. He slid back into the apartment, shut the door, and locked it. He put his weight against the wall, holding me to his chest without any indication that he wanted to leave, and I relaxed.
"You weren't shaken by the call," he said.
It was a question, even though he formed it as a statement.
He still wanted to know what things had been like between me and Neve. I guess I couldn't blame him for that. I still wanted to know how he'd gone from being the potential Alpha to someone who barely tolerated people.
"I had to desensitize myself to my mother a long time ago," I said.
Rhone was quiet, but tense.
He wanted to know more, but he didn't seem to want to push me. He'd already asked a few times, and I'd turned him down.
"If you ever decide you want to tell me, I'd really like to hear it," he finally added.
"I appreciate that."
My lips curved up when his tension didn't ease.
He really wanted to know.
"She was abusive," I said. There was no point in avoiding the conversation anymore. Rhone would eventually be dealing with her in some way, particularly now that we were mated. "Verbally and emotionally."
"Abusive how?" Rhone asked, when I didn't clarify.
"In the usual way, I guess. She was cruel.
Insulted my appearance. My body. My mind.
She did things that she knew would hurt me, just because she could.
Without Bloom, I don't think I would've been able to cope with it as a teenager, but Bloom was never shy about complimenting me.
I always thought she wanted to be human, even if she couldn't really say it.
I don't think that anymore. She seems a lot happier with what she is now that she has Maverick, and I love that for her. She deserves it."
"Does she know? She's never said anything."
"I never told her the details, only that we weren't close.
Bloom needed the Guild to stay alive. Without them, she wouldn't have had anyone to feed from.
If she had known what was going on, she would've done something to piss Neve off, and she would've been forced to mate with one of the eligible vampires to survive.
It was better for everyone that I stayed quiet about it. "
"Except you."
"Including me. I moved out as soon as I got my job as Steven's assistant.
I was determined to make it work to avoid moving back in with Neve, so I became really fucking good at my job.
Having thick skin was probably the only reason I survived at the investment company, but honestly, I thrived there. "
"Which is why I've been trying to get you to go back to being my assistant." Rhone squeezed my side lightly.
"I can't," I said honestly. "Being turned has made my mind work differently. I can't balance as many things as I used to. It would be frustrating for me to try to live like nothing has changed when I can't think the same way I used to."
"That makes sense. We can find you something to do here that you enjoy."
"I can find myself something to do, Rhone. If I'm really desperate, I can just follow you around all the time. Oren and Nolan are basically always together, so it wouldn't be that different, other than your inevitable annoyance."
"I wouldn't be annoyed, Harper."
"You don't have to spare my feelings. And it's your turn to share information, now. I want to know how you went from Alpha-in-Training to Beta-Who-Hates-His-Job."
Rhone sighed. "Fine. I told you my sister died during the war, after mating with someone I tried to prevent her from choosing.
The whole fucking world felt like it was burning, between the war and the loss.
I was still trying to figure out how to cope with the constant killing. Then she was gone, too."
I glanced down at his hand when he set it on my knee.
Rhone didn't really do physical affection, outside of cuddling. He'd never tried to hold my hand or put a hand on my lower back just because.
But since werewolves were touchy, I wondered how he would feel if I just took his hand.
"My parents blamed me for her death. They were... not fantastic, through most of my childhood. They tried, but couldn't get along. I loved them, but they were miserable, and they made sure I knew it. They fought constantly. I learned how to play peacemaker before I learned how to put pants on."
"Peacemaker? You?"
"Yeah. I was good at it, too. I could change the subject in the blink of an eye when they started arguing. You would've been impressed."
"I'm sure."
"It worked on the rest of the pack, too, other than Maverick.
We were always enemies. My parents fought no matter what I did when his family made more money than mine at the farmers' market, so I worked my ass off to sell more.
He did too, but he just liked eating. It went back and forth pretty evenly, but we hated each other for it. "
I nodded. Bloom had mentioned that.
"My parents blamed me when Isabelle died. They thought I should've protected her, and they were right. We never made up. They died a few weeks later, still hating me."
"Fuck. I'm sorry."
Rhone didn't respond right away. "Mav doesn't know that. Don't tell him."
"I won't." I finally set my hand on his, parting his fingers with mine and lacing our hands together.
He squeezed my fingers lightly, adjusting his grip to make me more comfortable.
"It wasn't your fault, though. You said she was mated.
He was supposed to be there, and he wasn't. You can't keep blaming yourself for something you didn't even do. "
"Neither can you. Killing Steven wasn't your fault, either."
I grimaced.
The conversation felt familiar.
"I knew enough about turned vampires to know I shouldn't have gone looking for Bloom in a public place."
"You had just died, Harper. You came back as a vampire, but you still died. Velour was the one who should've gotten you somewhere safe and contacted whoever you wanted to contact. You were the victim."
My eyes stung. "I was also the monster. I still am. Even right now, while I'm emotional and you're telling me about difficult shit from your past, I still want blood."
"Thanks to breeding season, my instincts are screaming at me to fuck you while we're talking about the same difficult shit. If you're a monster, I am too."
The stinging became a burning. "How am I supposed to accept it?"
"Change the way you think about yourself." He paused. "I'm also partially to blame. If I'd known how Neve treated you, I would've made an effort to be... nicer."
"I don't think you have that setting, Rhone."
"I do. Somewhere."
"Deep down."
"Really deep," he agreed, absentmindedly lifting a finger to wipe away my tear. "I'll dig it up."
"For me? You shouldn't."
"I should."
"Your parents are the reason you never wanted a mate bond?" I asked.
"Yeah. Seemed like if the people who created me couldn't make it work, I'd be better off alone."
"Considering you're stuck with me, that's probably true."
"No. It's not. They couldn't make it work, but we can. We will."
"Will we?"
"Yes."
"How did your hatred for Maverick change during the war?"
"Our charm didn't get us far with murderous vampires or experienced werewolf warriors. We had to learn how to kill. His parents died, too. When neither of us had anyone left, we slowly warmed up to each other. It felt like we silently agreed that we'd become family."
"And your Alpha-ness?"
"I checked out after losing everything. Became a mindless killing machine.
Had to stay detached to survive it, mentally.
Maverick kept his head when I couldn't. He put the plan together to take over the Alpha Pack and end the war.
I just followed it. Even when the fighting ended and I sort of came back, I couldn't erase everything.
Who I'd been before was gone. This is what I had left. "
"You said you had to choose to live for the people you loved and lost."
He nodded. "I just lived for Maverick, at first. He was going to get himself killed if I didn't. Eventually, I had to remind myself that I was living for Isa, because she never had the chance."
"What about you?" I asked. "Who's going to live for you?"
He grunted. "Never thought about it. Maybe we can figure it out how to live for ourselves together, Trouble."
There was a flicker in my chest. Like the one I'd had in the hall with Oren, but stronger. So much stronger.
Hope.
I was finally feeling hope again.
"Why did you start feeding me in the first place?" I asked. "Because I smelled like apples?"
"Because I'd seen the way you and Bloom fought for each other before you devolved. And because for the first time in too fucking long, I actually wanted to be there for someone the way I was for my family."
My throat swelled. Not with bloodlust, this time.
"I know I'm rusty, but I'm trying. I hope that can eventually be enough." His voice almost sounded raw.
I tried to pull myself off his lap, to turn around, but he held me firmly in place. When I pushed his hand away, he reluctantly loosened his grip enough for me to turn around on his lap.
I took his face in my hands and tilted his head down until our eyes met. He breathed out slowly.
"You smell like me," I whispered.
"I fucking better."
My lips tilted upward, just a little. "It's enough."
He captured my mouth, almost gently. I parted my lips for him, and his tongue dragged slowly over mine.
It was sweet.
Sensual, too.
But the asshole pulled away a hell of a lot sooner than I wanted him to.
"Bite me," he ordered.
"We were talking."
"We were kissing. Now I want you to bite me."
"You just want me to fuck you." I released his face.
He dragged my hands back to his cheeks as he tipped his head sideways.
His neck did look pretty tempting.
And his body...
"You have to kiss me more, before I bite you. Slow. Like you just did," I said.
Rhone's mouth captured mine immediately.
His tongue found mine again, his gigantic hands slipping beneath my shirt as the man made love to my mouth.
I was officially obsessed with kissing him.
One of his hands dragged slowly up my abdomen, his thumb brushing my ribcage beneath my breast, as his tongue stroked mine.
I parted my lips wider.
He kissed me deeper.
Rhone's thumb dragged lightly over my nipple, through my thin sports bra, and I moaned into his mouth.
He adjusted my position with his other hand, lining my center up with his erection. We were separated by fabric, but that didn't stop his cock from hitting my clit just right.
I ground against him while he continued kissing me slowly.
Heatedly, but slowly.
He was barely grazing my clit.
I pulled my shirt off after a few minutes of frustration, but he still didn't touch my bra.
So, I pulled my mouth away from his. "Kiss me and fuck me at the same time."
Rhone had my shorts shoved down my thighs and was driving into me a heartbeat later. I groaned into his mouth as his cock stretched me, and he tugged my shorts a few more times, until my legs were completely free.
I hooked them around his back and took him deeper, earning a growl of approval as he released my mouth long enough to tear my bra over my head and toss it aside.
He recaptured my mouth, his tongue and teeth more savage as he kissed me and rocked my hips, fucking me from below. I rocked and arched, crying out as he got me off once.
His fingers found my clit, and I came again quickly. My fangs sliced through his bottom lip, and a savage curse escaped him as he lost control inside me suddenly.
His cock throbbed—and changed.
I gasped in pleasure at the sudden, intense climax that hit me as the bottom part of his cock grew.
"What the fuck is that?" I shriek-demanded. My chest was heaving. My mind was spinning. My fangs were throbbing. I was already about to come again.
"What's what?" he gritted out, his grip tight on my ass as he held me pinned against him. Whatever was happening, it clearly hadn't surprised him.
"Your cock changed."
"I knotted you. We're mates. Knots come with the territory."
"You what? Oh, fuck." I moaned my way through another climax. Rhone swore too, coming with me again.
"Bloom didn't tell you about knots?"
"Why are you bringing up my friend while you—she knows about this?" I sucked in a breath. "Oh my god. Oh my god. What is even happening right now?" I tipped my head back, staring at the ceiling as my pleasure began to grow again. "This is unreal. Absolutely unreal. I don't—"
Rhone tipped my chin down until our eyes locked. My lips were parted slightly, my breathing picking up even though it had never completely evened out. "I'm a werewolf. The base of my cock swells and traps us together. It's called a knot. Feels good, right?"
"Right," I moaned.
"I thought she would've told you, but—fuck, Harp, you just—" A strangled sound escaped him.
I shattered again, and the way my body squeezed around him earned a savage groan from the werewolf.
He dragged my face to his throat, and I bit down without hesitation, claiming his neck and taking his blood.
I had no idea how long we stayed locked together, but by the time his knot finally softened, I was completely and utterly exhausted. Sated and boneless, too.
Rhone's release dripped down my thighs as he carried me to the shower, and I stared at his cock as soon as he pulled me off of him.
The base was thicker than the rest. There was a bulge on it, but it looked normal otherwise.
I dragged my hand over the bulge, and Rhone rumbled for me. "Easy, Trouble. It's sensitive."
"The only sensitive part of you," I muttered.
He snorted. "You're going to drive me crazy for the rest of our lives, aren't you?"
"If you're lucky."
He pinned me to the shower wall and kissed the hell out of me for no apparent reason other than because he wanted to.
Unless he was doing it just because he knew I liked it.
That wouldn't be very Rhone, though. And he was way too into it to not actually be enjoying it.
When he eventually pulled away, he dragged me under the water, and washed my body for me.
Then spent the rest of the day in bed with me, snuggling.
And fucking.
And biting.
It felt like a dream.