Chapter 10
TEN
Lilliana
“And then what happened?” Cameron asks me, sipping her glass of wine.
She’s curled up on the opposite end of the couch from me, and it hits me then just how much I missed this and her. I had a few friends in college, but design is a cutthroat industry. We’re all trying to stand out, to be seen. That didn’t really make for a friendly environment.
It’s nice to be relaxed with Cameron. I know that she only wants me to be happy, that she’s always rooting for me, just like I am for her.
“Then Ford called and told him about his dad.”
“I was sorry to hear about him being in the hospital. I’m glad that he’s on the mend.”
“Me too. I don’t know what they would have done if he wasn’t.”
“I was thinking about asking Ford if he needed any help at the diner. I could use the money, and he would be able to spend more time with his dad then.”
I notice that she looks a little tired. There are dark circles under her eyes that concealer isn’t covering, and when I glance at her hands, I can see that she’s been chewing on her fingernails. She used to do that before our exams when she was worried that she wouldn’t do well.
“I think that’s a great idea!” I encourage her.
I’m guessing that money must be tighter than she let on if she’s trying to work as a waitress. She tried that in high school, we both did. We didn’t last very long. Both of us would get inspired by something and end up in the back room sketching instead of working.
“Hopefully he thinks so too. I’m pretty sure that he knows about us being fired from Fireside Café our senior year,” she says, and I giggle.
“Maybe not,” I lie.
I want to tell her that I think that Ford would say yes to anything she asked, but I’ve never been great about reading people and I’d hate to be wrong.
I don’t want to tell her that Ford is in love with her and then have it turn out that he was just being nice to her.
Besides, if Ford hasn’t told Cameron that he wants her yet, then maybe he doesn’t.
Maybe he really is just being friendly with her.
Maybe I could ask Foster. He might know how Ford feels about Cameron.
“What did you say about your night together then?” She asks me.
She came over tonight with a bottle of cheap wine and the town gossip that she promised me that first night that I moved in here.
Things got delayed with Mr. Miller being in the hospital.
When she had shown up, I had blurted out that I slept with Foster and we’ve pretty much been talking about that ever since.
“Nothing. We were at the hospital and then he was worried about his dad. Asking if he wanted to do it again didn’t seem appropriate,” I tell her, and she sighs.
“Okay, but what about now?” She presses.
“Now… I’m worried that he regrets it,” I admit.
“He doesn’t.”
“He might. Things are kind of awkward between us lately.”
“Because you’re all in your head and making a big deal out of nothing?” She asks, and I shrug.
“Maybe. Or maybe he regrets sleeping with me, and now he’s worried about having to break that news to me when his dad is still recovering.”
“When are you going to talk to him next?”
“I don’t know. His dad went home today, so maybe I’ll see him tomorrow.”
“Okay, ask him then.”
I take a sip of my wine, and she groans.
“Promise that you’ll ask him the next time that you see him,” she demands.
“I promise.”
She changes the subject then to what everyone has been up to while I was away. I try to follow along, but all I can think about is seeing Foster again.
“I should get home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, though,” she says, hugging me tightly.
“Okay. Text me when you get home so that I know that you made it there safe.”
“I will.”
She waves as she heads out the door, and I lock it behind her. I clean up our wine glasses and then stare at my mostly bare apartment.
Maybe work will help distract me.
I grab my notepad and curl up on the couch. Normally, I’m inspired whenever I come up with a new design. I can get lost in drawing and lose track of the world. Not tonight, though. All I can think about tonight is Foster.
I’m trying to sketch when there’s a knock on my door, and I hurry to answer it.
I know that it has to be Foster since Cameron just left.
I’m surprised that he’s stopping by. I know that he was bringing his dad home today.
I had almost offered to help them with that, but I figured that the brothers would want some time alone with their dad.
I’m surprised that Foster came over. I know that he’s exhausted after spending the last few days at the hospital. He and Ford took turns sleeping there and visiting him. I’ve been bringing them food and anything else that they might need.
“Hey, is everything alright?” I ask him as soon as I open the door.
“Yeah. Dad is at home, settling in. Ford is going to stay with him tonight.”
“I’m sure your dad appreciates that,” I say, closing the door behind him.
“He hates it,” he says plainly, and I snort a laugh. “He keeps yelling at us to go back to our own lives.”
“So, he’s an easy patient then,” I joke, and Foster laughs.
“Sure. I think that he’s just not used to being fussed over so much. It’s getting on his nerves.”
“I think that I’d hate it too,” I admit, and he nods.
“Same. I still don’t think that I’d be as bad as him, though. I mean, he tried to help me fix his car this afternoon. I had to physically hold him back from crawling under the hood.”
I laugh at the image of Mr. Miller in his cast trying to fix his car while Foster and Ford tried to hold him back. Both brothers got their work ethic from him, that’s for sure.
I smile, and then we just stare at each other for a minute. That awkwardness that I was telling Cameron about hangs heavy between us, and I swallow, wishing that I hadn’t messed things up. I wish that we could go back to the way things were between us.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt when the tension becomes too much.
“For what?” he asks with a frown.
“For messing things up. Can we just go back to the way things were before… the other night,” I finish.
I don’t have it in me to say before we slept together. The truth is that I know that I won’t be able to forget about our night together.
I know that I’m taking the coward’s way out.
I should just finally admit to my best friend that I’ve always loved him and wanted to be with him.
I can’t though. I need Foster in my life, and I don’t want to make things awkward between us or to lose him.
If I can only have him as my best friend, then that will have to be enough.
He doesn’t answer me, and my stomach and heart both drop.
This is it. I’ve messed everything up, and now I’m about to lose my best friend forever.
I can feel tears starting to sting the back of my eyes, and I swallow hard, trying to force them back.
“Can we both just forget that it ever happened? Please?” I whisper.