Chapter 22—Aspen
Emotions coursed through Aspen’s body more rapidly than the water rushing in the rivers during snowcap runoff.
Her first-ever catering event neared and she continued to work on other pitches for potential future gigs.
Of course, her constant worry about being one disaster in her shop away from losing her business buzzed beneath the surface.
She needed to take to heart the sermon on control she offered Connor last week.
Speaking of Connor, her happiness soared as it related to her burly handyman-come-hockey fella. It seemed the walls between them crumbled after his confession about the loss of his sister.
But as happy as Aspen was in this moment, poor Mia was miserable.
She still refused to acknowledge the existence of Matt or her brother, Dante, after the big blow-up. Aspen prodded, poked and even begged Mia to at least talk to the men in her life, but the stubborn Italian beauty wouldn’t budge.
Aspen had pondered potential scenarios in which she could bring them all together, but she didn’t want to overstep her bounds in this tenuous situation.
Meanwhile, she and Connor’s relationship was simply amazing. Although they were keeping their budding romance on the down low—her wants, not his—to avoid adding any additional strain into Mia’s life, Aspen couldn’t be happier.
Most nights were spent at Aspen’s place playing their naughty-style Wheel of Fortune that usually ended up with them in her bed. After a few rounds of making love, they’d both fall asleep in each other’s arms with Aspen leaving him tangled in her sheets to get to the bakery the following morning.
Speaking of sleep, Connor’s rest became more peaceful over the past week.
Since he shared the tale of his sister’s death and the fractured relationship with his dad, his sleep became calmer with each night they’d spent together.
The first night he jolted awake, sweating and breathing hard.
Aspen gathered his massive frame as best she could and whispered calming words to him.
He had a long way to go, and Aspen was going to encourage him to seek counseling to help him process the events, but for now, she was glad she could be there for him as a supportive and dare she say, loving person in his life.
Love?
No, no, no, no.
Too soon shouted her cautious brain.
The ringing of her cell phone yanked Aspen away from her wild thoughts. She dried her hand on the tea towel threaded through the tie of her apron before answering the call.
“Hi Mom. What’s up?”
“Not too much. Your father went for a walk on the beach before I woke up and I thought I’d check in on you and the bakery.”
A fissure of unease skittered up Aspen’s spine.
“You sure all is well?”
“Yes, tell me about the shop. Have you started ordering extra supplies? With colder weather around the corner, you know traffic will be picking up.”
“I’m prepared, Mom, but it’s still the middle of summer and I have a bigger issue than ordering more flour for ‘It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown’ muffins. The air conditioning unit is on its last leg.”
“Your father and I should have done something about the unit years ago.”
Aspen’s frustration began to mount. “There are a lot of things on its last leg, but hopefully my foray into catering is going to increase my revenue stream.”
“You’re such a dreamer, Aspen. You need to focus on what works.”
Aspen silently counted to ten to refrain from telling her mom that their neglect of the shop put her in the position where she currently sat.
“Not a dreamer, Mom. I need to get creative if I want to compete with the franchised coffee shop down the street.”
“All I’m saying is the bakery is fine just the way it has always been.”
“It isn’t, Mom. If I don’t find a way to become diverse, this shop won’t be here for long.”
“We should have just closed the shop before we moved. That way we’d have some money to actually enjoy retirement.” She complained as though she was completely oblivious to how hard Aspen worked to make this business her own.
Aspen suddenly felt tired. All she wanted was a shot at following her own dream, but would she ever move away from her parents’ shadow or their incessant need to tell her how to operate the business? Or seemingly never be satisfied with life itself?
“Yes, well, it’s my shop now and I’m going to make this work. Gotta go, Mom. I’ll talk to you later.”
Her mom hung up the phone before saying goodbye.
Why was everything so complicated with her parents? All she wanted to do was run her bakery and make it as successful as she knew it was meant to be.
Maybe she should sell her place and use what little equity she had and move to a strip mall in the suburbs. She could certainly rent a place somewhere cheaper than downtown Denver. Maybe she could keep her place and get a roommate to increase her on-hand cash.
With frustration mounting, Aspen slammed a few metal bowls in a childish way in hopes of getting past her anger at her parents.
“Whatever those pans did to you, you’re sure showing them, BB,” Connor teased, appearing out of nowhere and resting his forearms on the counter, a smirk dancing across his face.
Aspen knew she was in an emotionally delicate state when his attempt at being charming not only fell flat, but got on her last nerve following the call with her mom.
“Haaa,” she said lamely.
“Doing okay, there, BB?” concern instantly etched Connor’s face.
“Fine. Dandy. Just had a great call with my mom,” Aspen yanked off her apron, balled it up and tossed it under the counter.
“Of course they still think they own the shop and are running it. Even though they didn’t really run it when they owned it.
Oh, and no matter where they are or what they’re doing they never seem happy. ”
She was ranting. Irrationally so, but she couldn’t help it. Maybe it was lack of sleep from all of her extracurricular activities with Connor, or the fact that Mia had asked for a couple of days off to get her head on straight, so Aspen was running on fumes.
Oh, and she was so nervous for the upcoming catering event she could literally feel her insides twisting with worry that the hockey camp wouldn’t turn out the way she planned.
“Ooookay. Let’s grab a cup of coffee. We could watch an episode of Wheel on your phone.”
“I’m not looking for sex right now, Connor.”
Connor crossed his arms, his muscles bulging under his lavender Justin Bieber t-shirt he wore with pride. His eyebrows pinched together, as if he didn’t understand her sudden and illogical tirade.
Join the club, bucko.
“I didn’t assume watching Wheel would mean sex, BB,” he said calmly, but Aspen could tell he, too, began climbing the angry scale. “It’s obvious you’re upset, and I thought doing something that brings you joy, a-k-a watching Wheel of Fortune would make you feel better.”
Before Aspen could respond, the air conditioning unit suspended in the corner of the bakery let out a long grind before making a massive pop and then nothing.
It stopped working.
“Of course. Of course the damn air conditioner would go out,” Aspen threw up her hands and stormed around the counter to where the air conditioner mocked her with a few whisps of smoke climbing to the ceiling.
She looked up at the unit, trying to channel the superpower of a mechanical air specialist to fix the damn thing.
“No need to get upset, I’ll check it out. It’s probably a belt or something. No big deal.”
In a move Aspen was sure to regret later, she turned her full ire toward Connor who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
“It’s a very big deal, Connor. Some of us don’t have the kind of money you have. I just can’t turn around and write a check to make this shop a highly functioning modernized bakery. And I sure as hell can’t keep asking you to fix my shit all of the time.”
They were now standing nose-to-nose. Well, Connor had several inches on Aspen, but close enough that their radiating anger roiled with one another.
“First, you don’t ever ask me to ‘fix your shit,’ BB.
I have done that because I wanted to. If you’d let me help you, you could transition this place into a highly functioning modernized shop that could compete with the national chain coffee shop down the street.
But you won’t, BB. You’re too stubborn. Too controlling, which is ironic since you lectured me on that shit the other night. ”
“Stubborn? Controlling?” Aspen couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“Oh, that’s rich, Connor. You, who needs to control every single aspect of your life, and that of your friends.
You can’t even let Mia explore a relationship with Matt on her own.
You’re there at every turn, at arm’s length, of course, making sure everyone stays in their lane.
With me too. You trying to tell me how to fix my shop and make it successful.
You trying to push things like grants my way. ”
“Stubborn? That’s all you, sweetheart. Those grants that you’re turning your nose up at will help you.
Like I said, yeah, I could write you a check to give you some room to breathe, but you won’t even consider it.
You’re in a financial hole for some reason and I can’t figure out why,” he gusted out a breath of air, probably trying to reign in his anger.
“And what in the hell do you mean arm’s length?
Last time I checked, I fucked multiple orgasms out of you last night. That didn’t seem arm’s length to me.”
“Connor, I already have a loan, and what little I have left, I send a portion to help my parents so they can have some semblance of a retirement. I owe it to them,” she explained, but knew he just didn’t understand.
“As for arm’s length, you keep everything so buttoned-up.
You won’t share anything. It was all I could do to have you tell me about Elle. ”
“Sorry I’m not all touchy-fucking-feely, babe, but this is about you right now. Your issues.”
“You won’t even call anyone by their name!” Aspen yelled.
“What?”
“You won’t call anyone by their name, Connor. Me included. Rookie, squirt, captain, BB,” Aspen clutched her chest. “If you can’t call anyone by their name, how on earth can you even have a real relationship with them?”
“I’m about done with the psychobabble, Aspen,” he spat out. “I was here to help you. Hang out. Fuck. Looks like it’s run its course.”
He turned to walk away.
“That’s it? You can’t even talk it through? You’re just going to leave? Call it quits?”
“Your stubbornness and unwillingness to deal with the fact someone with the means wants to help you ended things between us before they could get started,” he paused with his hand on the door handle.
“I may have all the faults you said, and probably more you couldn’t even think of, but all I wanted to do was help you. ”
Utter silence followed Connor’s exit from her shop.
What had she done? How could she lose it in such a mammoth way?
She had concerns over his lack of engagement, but taking out her frustrations about the shop and another shit conversation with her mom wasn’t what Connor deserved.
“Idiot.”
And she wasn’t talking about Connor.