Chapter 12
LEAH
My stomach is slowly tightening into knots on the drive to Kai's house. And not just from the surprising number of potholes on a few of these back roads that toss me around no matter how carefully he drives around the worst of them.
Kai is amazing. I already have intense feelings for him. Yet his lifestyle is so different than mine. Maybe I need to find a way to tell him how I expected my life to go.
The truck takes a tight corner, pointing out just how easy it is to drive nimbly in this sporty, brand-new vehicle. Maybe that's part of the problem. I'm not sporty. I've always planned and deliberated and driven slowly. That's part of having an old RV.
They're huge and clunky and you need to know exactly where you're going.
It takes a while to stop and change direction, too: you need to pump the brakes long before you approach a stop sign, since the weight of such a big vehicle wants to keep going and it takes a massive amount of effort to stop or redirect it.
Is that me? Am I so set in my ways that I’m afraid to change direction?
On the other hand, wouldn’t I be completely nuts to change my entire life plan for a guy I just met?
My stomach lurches again. That’s what I want. I want to stay here and live with Kai forever.
Yeah, and I also want chocolate to have zero calories, and to have stronger legs from just one workout.
"Hey." Kai reaches out and squeezes my hand.
"I know it's weird that I can send a couple of texts and get a project this large underway immediately.
I freely acknowledge that it isn't normal.
But it's the way my family has always operated.
If we see something that needs to be done, something that we can help with, we jump on it.
We have the resources and the connections to do so, so why not, right? "
"Yeah. I guess it makes sense." I stare out at the trees zipping past the window, trying to organize my thoughts.
It really is admirable that Kai and his brothers are so dedicated to helping this town.
"I guess the thing that strikes me as strange is that you don't have an RV. Have you ever traveled in one?"
He shrugs, turning onto a smaller road. "To a large degree, I've had most of my trips sort of thrust upon me in a mad rush.
Never had the time to take it slower in an RV.
" He laughs. "I do want to travel more just for fun. Choose a place and go there, even though there’s no conference or work event. And I haven’t done nearly enough extended road trips. "
“Yet you just trust me, a relative stranger, to tell you what an RV park needs?” I glance over to catch his gaze. “Please tell me you’ll consult with actual experts first.”
“Oh, that’s what the planners and construction people are for. Like I said: we generate ideas and throw money at them, then approve their final drafts.” He chuckles. “And do our best to not throw in any last-minute changes if we have yet another brilliant idea.”
We turn a corner, and the forest opens up to reveal a large clearing. My jaw falls open when I realize this isn’t a small road. This is Kai’s driveway.
And his house. Just…wow.
I expected a regular house. Brick or siding, windows, a few shrubs out front.
This is…a sculpture. Massive windows are clad in what looks like black iron and are softened by rugged, dark red brick and wide beams of wood.
The black corrugated steel roof makes it look both modern, and kind of like a barn. It suits Kai perfectly.
"I know, I got a bit artsy with the house," Kai laughs, pulling up beside another truck in the driveway. There's also a Jeep, and who-knows-what hiding in the three-car garage.
"I just really love the forest," he explains, coming around to my side to hug me close while helping me out of the vehicle. "I wanted to see trees all the time."
My heart swells at how sentimental this enormous man is about nature. Just as he's kissing the top of my hair and wrapping an arm around me, two huge men come barreling out the front door.
"Hey! Oh—” The first one stops in his tracks. "Crap, sorry to interrupt."
"These have to be your brothers," I laugh.
"Yeah, a couple of them. Guys, this is Leah. Leah, this is Kellen and Kingston."
They both shake my hand gently, then Kellen explains, "We have an ongoing rotation for swapping out the main algorithm backups." He waves a small hard drive before slipping it into his pocket. "The five of us each keep one in our basement."
"Is this a weekly thing?" I ask.
Kingston chuckles. "Nah. It's part of our chaotic natural system. Someone feels like going for a drive, he just jumps into a truck."
Kellen's eyes sparkle as he asks, "Are you the girl with the RV downtown?"
"Yes."
"Cool." He nods seriously. "I like it when women drive honking big vehicles. Dunno why."
Kingston elbows him. "Because you like tough chicks, dummy."
"Oh! Right." Kellen nods to himself, chuckling. “Hey, thanks for getting Kai to go to New York. I had to go last time. The traffic—”
This feels like a great opportunity to drop a casual question. “How often do you guys travel for work?”
The brothers look at each other and shrug. “It feels like one of us takes off every…three or four weeks, maybe?” Kingston says. “But we take turns, so it spreads it around.”
“Plus we do plenty of online video calls,” Kai adds. “Like the one you helped me with.” He winks.
“But when one of us is in the mood to go somewhere we’ve never gone before, it can be fun.” Kellan grins. Wow, his eyes are nearly as striking as Kai’s. “We’re spoiled rotten, really.”
“Although sometimes it’s a ten-hour flight, not a quick chopper ride,” Kingston chuckles. He glances back and forth between me and Kai, then smacks Kellan’s arm. “We’re interrupting, dude. Let’s go.”
“Right. Sorry!” Kellan waves as they jump into their truck, then they leave.
Kai murmurs, "They're probably shocked to see us together, since I haven't really, ah, mentioned you yet." We pause on the front step, and he waits until the truck is gone before kissing me gently. "I want to keep you all to myself just a bit longer."
“Plus, the whole…you know…not knowing each other very well yet.”
His face falls briefly. Then he smiles, swings his arm around my waist, and marches us into a vast living room.
We sit facing each other on the couch as he takes my hands, inhaling deeply.
“I’m an open book to you, Leah. I mean it.
The password on my phone is currently 567387.
I change it every month. You can go search my bedroom right now.
The entire house. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. You can even call my mother.”
Where is he going with this? I’ve never seen him this serious before. Yet he’s still got that self-assured smile.
I’m actually melting. The protective forcefield of tension I’ve been holding around me starts to dissolve as I realize I could tell Kai anything under the sun and he would just want to help me.
Maybe this isn’t his way versus my way. Maybe we could create…our way?
I squeeze his hands and then release them, sitting back so there’s a bit of space between us. “I appreciate that, but maybe I should actually go first. Where do I start?”
“Anywhere you like. I’m listening.”
What the heck. I don't have anything to lose. If I spill my guts, and Kai thinks I'm too weird for a real relationship, he's so open and honest that he will just say so.
But I don't think he will.
"Let’s start with the short version," I begin slowly. “Maybe someday I'll get into more detail."
"That's cool."
My shoulders roll back as I try to stay relaxed. "I grew up in a very small town. Everyone knew everyone else. Which was nice, to a point. When I was little, that meant that every parent was kind of watching out for all the kids. There was a real spirit of community."
Kai nods thoughtfully. “We have a lot of that here in Old Hemlock Valley, too. Go on.”
"I'm not sure what happened to her when I was about nine, but Mom started…pulling inward. Every few months we would drive to a big box store in the next town to do a huge grocery shop. And then one day that just…stopped. She didn’t want to leave town.
Then she stopped going to the other side of our town.
Next, she wouldn't leave our neighborhood. "
His warm palm lands on my knee, squeezes gently, then pulls away again.
"Pretty soon the only places Mom would go were all within a twelve-block radius of our house. She didn’t want to drive.
The grocery store and drugstore were the only places we’d visit.
I was going to school on my own by then, thank goodness.
The school was across a main street and outside of her comfort zone. "
"Do you know what happened to trigger all this?" Kai asks softly.
"No. Dad didn't, either. Maybe she saw something on the news, or a friend told her a horror story. But she just began shutting down. Her world got smaller and smaller until…" I stare down at the floor, shaking my head. "She just sort of slipped away."
Kai nods, taking my hand. "And your dad?"
“He traveled a lot for work. He did his best, but they had emotionally gone their separate ways years before.”
Taking another deep breath, I decide to just spit out the rest of it.
"Mom got sick, but refused to go to the doctor, since he was ‘too far away’.
Dad was on a business trip for a few days.
I remember being so jealous of him that he was free to go and do whatever he wanted.
When he got back, he managed to get Mom to go to the hospital, but it was too late.
" I shake my head. “I can't remember the name of what she had, but it was made worse by a lack of vitamin D and exercise.
I think it was more than that, though." I look down, picking at my thumbnail.
"Her world got so tiny that she just lost all interest in it.
And we were similar in many ways, so I guess I'm terrified that I could snap and follow in her footsteps someday. "
Kai nods, taking my hand. "And that’s why you want to make sure that you take after your dad instead and see the world?"
"Exactly. I swore I would make it my life’s mission when I finished school. Then dad got sick too, and made me swear to make the most of his RV after he was gone."
Kai’s thick arms enfold me as he pulls me into his lap, stroking my back. "Baby, thank you so much for telling me all that.”
He rocks me gently for a moment, then meets my eyes with a breathtaking smile. "What if we make the most of the RV every summer? I'm sure your father wouldn't want you hitting the road in the dead of winter."
"Of course he wouldn’t."
"And we can also embrace the spirit of travel in other ways…like airplanes?"
"I guess."
"Do you want to settle down and start a family someday, baby? I couldn't imagine raising kids on the road."
"Oh, I definitely want kids, after I’ve spent at least a year or two traveling. But I want to travel with them so they see the world and don't get stuck in a gray bubble of complacency."
"Okay. So, what if we travel at least every…month? Two months? We'll plan trips to anywhere you want to go, plus take advantage of upcoming conferences where I have to present, or those times when I have to meet with new clients in person."
His fingers trace around my knee, his other palm stroking gently up and down my spine. “We'll go for road trips in the summer. We could also fly to the other side of the country and rent an RV there for a week or two, to save going all the way across the middle."
"What about you, though?" I ask. "Old Hemlock Valley is your home. It's your entire life."
Kai grins, his eyes sparkling. "Baby, I can work anywhere.
I truly enjoyed traveling with you, because you made everything more exciting.
It wasn't a chore. All of a sudden, it was an adventure.
Tell you what: why don't we travel as much as possible for a few years, knowing we'll have to slow down while the kids are super tiny? "
I'm already nodding, then stop. "Wait. You're just assuming that we're going to be together forever? Get married, have kids, the whole shebang?"
There's that gorgeous cocky smile that always makes my stomach flip. "Well, duhh."