Chapter 38
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
VALERIAN
“What are you doing?” she asks, but her voice is a little faint. “Valen…”
“Taking a bath. Before the water gets cold. You should hurry up, too.”
“Hurry up?” she repeats.
“Undress. Get into the water. Unless you’d rather watch?”
An indrawn breath. “Watch? No. And I’m not… not getting into a tub with you!”
“Why not? It’s pleasant. Have you never shared a bath with anyone?”
“No.”
“You don’t know what you’re missing.” I have to peel the pants off me; the fabric is in shreds, sticking to various cuts and abrasions.
“And seriously, woman, I’m being practical.
This isn’t your manor. Nobody will come to empty the dirty, cold water and refill the tub.
I don’t curry that much favor, not without coin. ”
“So they simply assumed we’d share the bath?”
“We share the room. The bed.” I finally remain in my stained underpants. “Why not the bath?”
She’ll never join me in the tub, and deep inside, I knew that. Biting back a grin, I turn around, ready to tell her she can go first, and I’ll take the cold, filthy water afterward. I don’t even mind. Anything for my princess, dammit.
But I find her right in front of me. “Wait.”
“What’s going on in your pretty head?”
“I’m too inexperienced,” she whispers, her gaze dipping between my legs, then away. “Too na?ve.”
Her cheeks are red. She looks adorably embarrassed and unsure. I’d give my right ball to know what’s going on in her mind. I tease and tease, hoping to get her to open up, relax, let down her guard, but I hadn’t meant to hurt her.
“Princess…” I start.
“I will.”
I frown. “You will, what?”
“Bathe with you.”
I almost laugh out loud, barely containing myself in the last moment. “Really?”
“You invited me in, didn’t you?”
“Sure did,” I rumble, “but…”
She wrings her hands together. “Do you really think that Lord Eorl will be displeased that I’m so sheltered?”
Fuck it, I can’t lie to her. I’ve teased her as I’d have teased any man or woman, but she’s special. She’s innocent. And she’s mine to protect.
“Princess,” I say softly. “Of course not. If he doesn’t realize what a treasure you are when he meets you, then he’s not worthy of you. I was only poking fun. You know that.”
“Nonetheless…” She draws a long breath. “I want to learn things. Experience things. You were right. I’m not very worldly.”
“It doesn’t matter, you—”
She slowly starts unbuttoning her tall collar, and my mouth keeps flapping without a sound.
Fuck, she’s… She’s really going to do it. I didn’t expect her to capitulate so fast. Or ever. And I wasn’t prepared for the rush of heat going through my body, the way my balls tighten and my cock throbs.
“Are you sure?” I make myself ask.
“Watch me.”
“I am watching,” I say hoarsely. “Good Gods, woman… I am watching. How could I ever look away?”
“You…” Suddenly, she stops with her slender hands on the collar, still keeping it closed. Her eyes widen. “No. I can’t.”
“Can’t?”
“Can’t undress in front of you.”
“I see.” Biting down the disappointment, I nod. “I’ll turn around. You can go into the tub first.”
“I can’t do it. Then you’ll see…”
“See what?”
“The… the wolves who took me as a child… they weren’t gentle. They… they bit and clawed me.”
My chest grows too tight. “Princess…”
“I’ve never talked about this to anyone. I wasn’t going to talk to you, either.” Her mouth trembles. “Gods. But I can’t show you my body because…”
“Because of the scars,” I whisper, understanding.
She flinches. Her hand flies to her mouth, to the faint scar there. “Yes.”
“You can barely see them.”
A faint shake of her head. “The others are bigger. Deeper. Uglier.”
“There is nothing ugly about you,” I breathe.
“You haven’t seen them. Few people have. Della.” She frowns. “Only Della. Since I was a child, since I returned home, only she has seen them.”
“And what did she say? I mean… Forget it.” I shouldn’t be asking this. Any of this. I take a step back. “I understand. I’ll leave the room and let you bathe in peace.”
“Wait.”
I sigh. “No. I pushed you. I apologize. I’m used to teasing people, and the only thing I can tell you is that you’re beautiful. Nothing will ever change that.”
She lifts a hand and lets out a controlled breath. You can tell she’s used this technique many times to ground herself. “Just… wait.”
I open my hands. “I’m at your command, my lady.”
“What if… what if I’d rather you saw the scars,” she says, lifting her chin, surprising me yet again, “because I don’t care what you think of me.”
“Right…” I hide my wince at her words. “Right.”
“You can tell me, perhaps…” She swallows hard and looks away, betraying her nervousness. “Tell me how bad they are to… to a man. How ugly they make me. How unattractive and unappealing. How… how Lord Eorl might react to them.”
It’s… so sad and endearing. How honest, how open she is right now. How courageous. I see it now, how brave she is. I’ve been seeing it since I met her, but this, deciding to show me her scars, is even braver than going on this journey with me.
And that is sexy. Hot as hell.
“For what it’s worth,” I say, “I don’t find scars ugly. We all have them, inside or out. Nothing you have been through ever truly disappears. It leaves traces.”
She shakes her head. Doesn’t believe me. “You haven’t seen them,” she insists. “You might change your mind.”
“Then show me. Just know that it’s hard to shock me.”
“Because you’re a werewolf? A dark fae whose race was twisted up by magic?”
“Shifting changes your perspective, your view. Makes you question the permanence of appearances and the fluidity of identities.”
She frowns. “You mean that a human lord might think differently?”
“It’s a possibility,” I tell her truthfully. “But if he doesn’t appreciate you, doesn’t get painfully hard for you, then he’s the biggest idiot in existence.”
Her mouth twitches a little at that, and her eyes brighten. “Why?”
“Because you’re beautiful. Didn’t I say so before?”
“But scarred.”
“The one doesn’t negate the other.”
That seems to clinch it for her, and she resumes unbuttoning her collar.
I itch to help her, take over, tear her bodice open, and send the tiny pearly buttons flying, but I clench my hands at my sides instead.
I should be removing my underpants, too.
The water is cooling in the tub, but I can’t look away.
She kicks off her shoes, pulls off her stockings, then peels off her dress and lets it pool around her ankles. Finally, she takes off her chemise and her underpants and stands there, naked and perfect, and I couldn’t look away if my life depended on it.
Did I say nothing can shock me? I was wrong. I am shocked. Fucking shaken to my bones.
She really is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. The sexiest, prettiest, most delectable maiden with her elegant legs and hipbones, the dip of her waist and the light roundness of her belly, and fucking hells, her perfectly pointed breasts.
And yeah, I see the scars. Kind of hard to miss. One runs from her collarbone down, between her breasts to her stomach, and there is another on her thigh, twisting around it, twisting the flesh with it. Both are darker than her skin, the flesh puckered along their lines.
They only make her body shine all the more. Its flaws make it flawless.
Mate, my mind whispers. Mate, my body agrees. Our mate.
Her chin dips. Her eyes shimmer, blue like the sea, her dark hair curling on her powder-white cheek. Her rosy lips part as a blush works its way up her long neck and down her chest, spreading over her breasts, all the way to her hard, dark nipples.
She shifts on her bare feet, and the sight of her small toes curling on the floor almost cracks my heart wide open. “You hate them,” she whispers. “They are horrible. I look horrible, I look—”
“Sexy,” I breathe. “You’re the most alluring woman I have ever seen, Princess.”
“Not true.” Her voice cracks. “I’m not—”
“Not ugly. Not even a little. And plenty beautiful.” I smile and look her over again, from head to toe, taking my time.
Letting her appeal seep into me, feeling my cock harden and harden until I can barely stand it.
I reach down and adjust myself in my underpants.
“Fuck… If you needed proof of what you do to a man, look.”
Her gaze dips there again, and her eyes widen. “You’re still…”
“Hard? Oh, yeah.”
“For me?”
“Do you see anyone else in the room, woman? Have you noticed how often I’ve been hard for you since I first met you?”
She shakes her head. “How often?”
“Every day. Every night. Every hour of every day and night. Every fucking moment.”
Her flush deepens. “You’re making fun of me.”
“I’m honest. You can check, if you like.”
“Check what?” Her eyes widen more, so much that I almost laugh. “No. Not touching that.”
“My cock won’t poke you. Not unless you ask nicely.”
“Oh, Gods…”
I lick my lips. Dammit, she makes my mouth water.
I was honest with her. I have been horny and hard for her since I met her.
I’d get glimpses of her body through the clothes, although she did her best to hide it, and together with that pretty face and that steely determination, oh fuck…
I’ve wanted her more than any woman I’ve ever had.
But now… seeing her naked is a whole new level of excitement.
A new treasure trove. A magical lake I want to dive into.
A sweet I want to sink my teeth into. And the way she quivers and blushes and doubts herself is making me burn hotter.
I have to physically restrain myself from touching her, curl my hands into tight fists to control the impulse.
I never thought I’d fall so hard for a girl who is so brave and believes herself so ugly, but the feeling has gone like an arrow through me, through my heart and my cock. I’m all in. All gone for her.
And then she shoots me a tiny smile that wraps around my lungs like a vise, squeezing. It’s a delicious pain. I can’t breathe, looking at her, and I don’t need air. I only need her, her smile, her gaze, her touch.
With delicate steps, she approaches the tub and climbs inside, leaving me standing there like a fucking idiot, my thoughts grinding to a halt.
What am I doing? This is messing with my mind. I’ll never get the image of her out of my head for as long as I fucking live. Keeping my hands to myself is such a struggle. She’s a challenge to my sanity.
I’m here to lead her to her husband, to protect her from the wild animals, her enemies, and her family—but who will protect her from me?
As for me, I’m a lost cause already.