Chapter 40
CHAPTER FORTY
VALERIAN
I said I won’t tease or push her anymore, and I’ll hold myself to that promise. So instead of staring at her breasts, her mouth, her collarbone, arms, shoulders, neck, eyes, every fucking part of her that’s been driving me crazy with lust, I grab the washcloth and focus on my own body.
My own aroused body that’s aching for hers.
The feel of the rough cloth over my chest is heavenly, and when I move it down my stomach toward my legs, I shiver because I’m so damn hard. My muscles quiver with anticipation, as if I’m about to jack myself off.
I would. I should. But that could be taken as teasing, and I should be able to keep my word for the duration of this bath at least, right? Show I’m dependable. Trustworthy. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable, not when she opened up to me and showed me her scars.
She should be rewarded, not punished, and I’d love to dive between her legs and reward her properly, only that’s way too soon.
Or never, I remind myself. She doesn’t want that. She made it abundantly clear. So get your mind off your dick. You’re an animal, but you can control yourself. A man who can’t control himself might as well turn into a wolf permanently and run in the woods.
Soon, we’ll reach our destination, and she’ll lead the life she’s always wanted. As for me, I’ll return to my hunting grounds, my remaining family, my friends. My world. It will be as if our paths never met.
A lie. I’ll never forget her. Never get over her. But hopefully, over time, her memory will fade enough to let me breathe.
Fuck, I can’t believe how bleak that future looks.
Her hand on top of mine stops me. It stops my movement, stops my mind. I glance up, a question on the tip of my tongue, but it dies at the focused look in her eyes.
Her eyes, fixed on my chest.
“Princess,” I whisper.
“We should… we should talk about your family,” she says.
“We should?”
“Yes. Tell me about this temple your mother belonged to.”
She’s trying to distract herself, so I play along.
“Among the werewolves, the temple holds the greatest power, directing the decisions of our kings and queens. Prophecies, rituals, initiations, acolytes… It’s a big thing.
We worship many of the Sleeping Gods, but the Blue Star House has always worshipped Cassia, Goddess of Dreams, and Ares, God of War.
I spent many years there, following in my mother’s footsteps, after her disappearance. ”
“Her prophecy of a human girl,” she whispers.
“I heard they had selected a few girls, tested them, but none of them proved to be the chosen one.”
Her eyes are dark. “Girls taken from human settlements?”
“I suppose. Acolytes weren’t told much. We were...
serving the God. It was like a military camp.
Chores, training, recon missions through the woods.
A lot of talk about the superiority of our race, about protecting ourselves against others, about our mythical past. A lot of propaganda and brainwashing.
I believed it all for a while. Obeyed. The rules were strict, the punishments for breaking them…
creative. Anyway…” I wince, pull away from the memories. “Princess… What do you want?”
“I want… to touch your chest.”
I blink. “My chest says yes.”
A smile cracks on her face, but her expression remains thoughtful. What in the hells is she thinking so hard about while looking at my pecs?
Can someone die from being so hard for a woman all the goddamn time? Just wondering. Nothing to do with me or the state of my aching cock and blue balls.
“I don’t want to be na?ve and ignorant anymore,” she whispers.
“Being sheltered isn’t a problem for men, I assure you. That was just me talking shit, you—”
“I don’t want to be ignorant,” she says. “To arrive at the manor knowing as much about men as I did when I was a child. To enter his bedchamber unprepared. To… to let him undress me, touch me, do things to me I’m not familiar with.”
I sit in the cooling water as still as I can. “Tell me what you really want. Anything. I’d do anything for you.”
“I told you. I want to touch you… touch your chest and…”
“And anything else you like,” I say quickly, too quickly, because fuck, my mouth has gone dry. Is this really happening? Will I allow it after I decided to stay back?
Who am I kidding? Of course I’ll allow it. I’d beg for it if I hadn’t told myself not to push her.
Still, she hesitates, lifting her hand off mine. My fingers splay, letting the washcloth drop into the water with a small splash. I barely notice, all my attention on her, on her soft breasts and hard nipples, on her face with the lowered dark lashes, the flush on her cheeks, the parted lips.
Fuck, this woman. What she does to me.
“Touch me, then, Princess,” I breathe when I can’t take the tension anymore. “I know. You’re saving yourself for your husband. But this doesn’t count. It’s only practice. Don’t you want to know what it’s like?”
She chews on her lip, and I want to kiss her mouth so fucking badly.
“Feel free to touch any part of me,” I go on. “Get to know my body. A man’s body.” I lift my hands. “I won’t touch you, but you may touch me. If you want. I’m willing to be your doll. Play with me.”
She laughs softly. “You look nothing like a doll.”
“I know.” I wink. “Too rugged, right?”
“Too… alive,” she breathes. “Full of fire.”
“That’s not my element. I’m fae, made of earth and air.”
“Yet, the magic changed. Its very nature twisted out of shape. In his Philosophies of the Elements, Wise Eyrychius said—”
“Fuck the philosophers.” I close my eyes and take a calming breath. “You are setting me on fire. Let’s see them explain that.”
Her soft snort has me looking at her again. Fuck, the way she looks naked in the water… The nymphs haunting the streams on the mountains aren’t half as pretty as her, and they have molded themselves into breath-stopping beauties to lure the fae to their deaths.
They’d be jealous of her. I am jealous. My body is jealous of the water caressing her curves and dipping between her legs, where I want to be.
“Don’t insult the philosophers,” she finally mutters. “They saved my life in ways nobody can understand.”
“And you’re saving mine in ways you don’t understand, either,” I whisper, unable to stop the words from spilling from my mouth.
“Valen…” Her small hand finally collides with my chest. It’s a soft landing, but it feels like a rock-solid punch to my plexus, knocking out my breath. A small gasp escapes her. “So warm…”
Are you cold? I want to ask. Let me warm you up. Let me kiss you all over, let me pleasure you until you scream, let me… just let me.
But I keep my mouth shut, gritting my teeth as her hand travels up to my right pec, her touch featherlight, her gaze following the path of her fingertips. She leans forward as she does so, her pretty tits almost brushing my skin, and I swear I’m about to come. Just from this.
Who’s turned out to be the touch-starved one, Valen?
My cock, that’s who. Have I slept with women and men?
I sure have. I never actually believed in soulmates and waiting for the right one, and like I told Rosie, we wolves like to touch, play, and find pleasure together.
I’m by no fucking means celibate, nor have I ever been.
The thought of not even jacking off when I get the urge is inconceivable to me.
But now, it’s as if I’ve never been with anyone in my life. It’s ridiculous. As if I’m the virgin one, not her. Every light touch of her hand, every glimpse of her face and body, brings me to the brink of an orgasm. I’m so fucking desperate for her.
Her other hand joins the first, moving over my pecs, over my nipples, then down to my stomach that’s clenched tightly as my cock twitches.
“You have so many…” She trails off, a small crease forming between her dark brows. “Muscles.”
I snort. “Is that a bad thing?”
“No, it’s... nice.” Her hands tickle my sides, then return to my stomach, to my navel, tracing it. “You’re so strong.”
“I could pick you up with one hand,” I brag.
“No, you can’t.”
“I absolutely fucking can. And I could toss you onto the bed.” I smirk. “And—”
Her small hands lightly push on my chest and, obeying the implicit command or request, I lie back against the tub. My cock bobs upright, out of the water, and she leans back a little, staring at it.
Fuck me...
A shift is trying to come over me. I’m that far gone. The base of my cock aches where my knot normally inflates. I’m fully aware that such a thing would send her running. Even female wolves are hesitant when a male wolf goes into a rut.
What the fuck, am I going into a rut? My body has taken the reins. Mate, my mind whispers, mate, but it won’t happen.
“And this…” she breathes, brushing her forefinger over the silver bar, tapping it lightly.
The sensation breaks me out of my thoughts as a jolt of unadulterated pleasure shoots through me.
“Fuuuck…” I groan. The gentle tapping vibrates through my cock, balls, and my entire being. I shift my hands to grip the rim of the tub so tightly the wood groans, too, echoing my sentiment. “Woman...”
“You like that,” she whispers, glancing up at my face. Fuck knows what my expression looks like. “You really like that…”
“I like anything you like,” I grunt, “anything you want, just don’t…”
“Don’t, what?”
“Don’t stop.”