Chapter 48
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
ROSAMUND
I never thought I’d spend my time thinking of a man’s cock. The shape and size of it. The piercing. The sounds he made when I touched it.
And now this… knot business. Which should be gross. Wild. I mean, it’s an animal thing, he said so himself. A dog and wolf thing. I’ve never heard of humans or fae dealing with knots in their cocks.
Below their cocks? Behind their cocks? Where is that knot?
I’m dying to ask questions, to demand to see, but he doesn’t seem willing to show me. Is it worse than it sounds?
Why do I feel this urge to see it? Why does it sound so exciting? Is it me? Have I gone crazy after all? Or is it him? Everything about Valen is appealing, but surely a knotty cock isn’t?
Is it?
There. This has to be proof. I’m as nutty as a fruitcake.
Not the lady Lord Eorl is expecting, if he’s expecting me at all, if word hasn’t reached him that I died or done something terrible like escaped with a werewolf into the countryside.
What does Lord Eorl expect of me? I always thought I knew, but what did I base that on?
Della and the male servants? How do I know he likes books, or will be proud of my embroidery skills and chastity?
How do I know whether he likes his women experienced and his wife na?ve? How do I know I will like him?
The way I like Valen.
The way I want Valen.
Valen is ruining me for other men. How can I expect any less of Lord Eorl, and how realistic is it to hope he’ll be so perfect when he’s someone I have never even met?
I look down at my feet as we cross a small stream, Valen reaching for me to help me over.
My dusty shoes, scratched and one of them gaping open on the side, my filthy stockings, the ripped hem of my dirty dress.
With my hair loose, I must look like a nymph, a woman gone mad with grief and turned into something eldritch.
Maybe Lord Eorl will take a look at me and send me away. Maybe—
“Watch out!” Valen is suddenly beside me, grabbing me around the waist and lifting me into the air. He turns and splashes through the shallow water, and I wrap my arms around his neck instinctively, holding on as he gets us to dry ground and keeps moving.
“What’s wrong?”
“White snakes.” He swings me up into his arms. “Never seen them swim in such a shallow stream. Not lethal, but they are aggressive and can bite chunks out of you.”
A shiver goes through me as I cling to his muscular chest. “Nature is out to get us.”
“Always. Yet, I find it easier to navigate than high society.”
“It’s all about knowing the rules.”
“Same with nature, Princess.”
“Only nature can kill you,” I grumble.
“So can your own family.”
He’s right. Another shiver racks me as I recall the assassins back home and their attempts to end my life. If Valen hadn’t been there…
He comes to a sudden stop by a clump of trees. They are very pale, both trunk and foliage, and unfamiliar to me. There he gazes down at me, his eyes so dark they look black, and relaxes his hold on me.
Slowly, he lets me slide down his body, so packed with muscle it feels as if it’s hewn out of the rock of these hills and outcrops, past his chest and the hard bulge between his legs, until my feet touch the ground.
I’m still pressed to him, looking up at his face, the dark fire in his eyes, and the savage twist of his mouth. I can’t seem to make myself move away.
“I can hear your heart pounding,” he growls. “I can smell you.”
Something in his voice tells me I should be putting physical distance between us. Wasn’t there a story my mother told me about a wolf and a girl in a red cape who wandered off the safe path and was caught and eaten alive?
That’s how this feels. The look in his eyes tells me he very much wants to eat me alive. Sink those sharp teeth into me, those black claws, that pierced, swollen cock…
His hand slides up my shoulder to my neck and wraps around it, pressing. His thumb presses against my airpipe, restricting the flow of air. “Princess…”
The look in his eyes is flat and feral. I should be terrified, struggling, yet I can’t move, heat flooding my belly. I swallow against his hold.
Suddenly, he lets go with a hiss, his hands curling into fists. “Fuck. My control is slipping.”
I stumble step back, my hand rising to my throat. “Valen—”
“Hit me,” he says.
“What?”
“I’m going into a rut. This is fucking bad.”
I frown. “What does that mean?”
“That I’m about to pounce on you, little mouse,” he snarls, “and do wicked things to you.”
I finally take a step back. “Valen…”
“Which is why you should run. Run and don’t let me catch you.”
“I don’t…” I swallow thickly. “I don’t want to run.”
“So you want me to fuck you?” he growls.
I shake my head. “I shouldn’t.”
“That’s not an answer, Princess.”
“You’re scaring me.”
He steps closer, looming over me. “You should be scared. I’m not human. I’m not safe.”
My body is responding to this threat as if it’s the promise of something good. My belly tightens, and the throb between my legs is maddening. “Please, Valen…”
“Fuck, what you do to me.” One hand reaches for me, and it’s already clawed. “You’re so wet. So ready. I can smell it. But you’re out of bounds, and I don’t know what the fuck to do about you.”
I take another step back. “Don’t hurt me.”
He breathes in and out. His face is distorting, his pointed ears turning into wolf ears. I see movement behind him, and I know his tail is out.
The silence stretching between us is thick like glue, binding us together.
My mouth is dry. He takes another step toward me, closing the distance between us again, and he’s so tall and strong. My heart slams about inside my chest like a frightened little bird.
“You’re torn,” he finally says. “Torn between trusting me and fearing me. And it makes your scent ever more enticing. Because I am a wolf and some danger and uncertainty thrown into the mix always goes down a treat.”
“I…” I lick my lips. “I don’t…”
“You went through things in your childhood,” he says, “you still don’t know how to process. Let me tell you what you should do now. I’m your enemy. Your nightmare. Hit me. Punch me. Kick me. Take your revenge on me.”
“I can’t. It wasn’t you. It wasn’t—”
“I am a wolf. The wolf. I will make you punish me, take out that rage and fear on me.” He opens his clawed hands. His eyes are turning flat and wide. Wolf eyes. “I’m yours to hurt and humiliate. I offer myself.”
“I don’t want it!”
“But I do. I want you to do it. Do it!”
“No.”
“Then,” he says, his voice growing raspier, “I’ll chase you until you have no choice but to lash out and stop me. I’ll recreate your nightmare until you scratch and lance that wound, clear out the infection.”
“Valen—”
“Are you ready, little human? You annoyed me enough to warrant a little chase. You aroused me way too much. Broke my discipline in a way I’ve never experienced before. I need this. This isn’t only for you. It’s for me, too.”
I gulp. “You’re making no sense.”
“Maybe I want to be punished. To be hurt by you. Make up for what my people did to you. Maybe I want the edge of pain to take off the edge of arousal before I go insane with it.”
“Valen...”
“Or maybe I need to hunt you and pin you down. Hurt you sweetly. So run, my lady. Run now before I lose control and actually harm you.”
“You wouldn’t.”
He snarls, his jaw lengthening. “I’m one step away from pushing you belly-down in the dirt and biting into your neck, before spreading your legs and tasting you.
Before showing you what you do to me. Before leaving, because otherwise I’ll truly hurt you, and it would kill me.
So you see... running is your best option. And my only salvation.”
He’s not making sense, but when he takes a heavy step toward me, his eyes going fully wolf, his mouth opening wide with sharp teeth, I turn and run.
“Good girl,” he says. “Faster. Run, little mouse, run as fast as you can. I’ll give you a head start, for all the good it will do. I am a wolf, after all, and I’ll catch you wherever you go.”