Chapter 63
CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE
VALERIAN
My heart is a thorny, dark forest.
Rosie has been avoiding me. I was going to take my leave of her and go, as I had planned, but days pass and I’m still here. I’ve been disconnected from time, every moment I watch her passing in the blink of an eye, the rest of the time mired in an eternity. This must be what hell is like.
“Come home with us,” Darian says again when he meets me at the end of the grove. “You’ve lingered and pined long enough, Valen. She made up her mind. So must you. This isn’t good for you. It isn’t healthy.”
I know. She never promised me anything. Never even offered anything. I’m the one who went and fell for her like a fool.
I thought she liked being around me. And around my friends. She laughed. She smiled. I haven’t seen her smile in all these days. Haven’t heard her sweet laughter in this cursed manor.
Why does she want this man? There must be something I’m missing. Something I should be doing. This godsdamned panic is new to me, and I don’t fucking know what to do with it. Beg. Should I beg? Should I demand answers?
Respect her wishes, I tell myself. Respect her space.
“Listen,” Darian goes on. “You’re not even having a fun time here. Why don’t you wring their necks?”
“Because then I’ll be kicked out,” I argue. “Lord Asshole is only looking for a pretext. Besides, once the ears, claws and tail come out, my disguise is done.”
He’s talking about the bullying, of course, which started from day one. Trying to get me to leave. They think that will scare me away. But I’m not leaving.
Oh fuck, I’ve gone crazy. Konstam and Darian are right. I should leave. What’s keeping me here? She’s getting ready for her wedding, and I’m wandering the halls like a wraith, except when—
Two men leap on me as I cross the yard, returning to the manor, pulling me to the ground. What an idiot, too distracted by thoughts of her, instead of being on my guard. After all, who’s to say Lord Asshole isn’t just trying to scare me, but tasked his men with offing me?
With a grunt, I shove one off me, sending him flying against a low wall, and turn my attention to the second one. I twist about and get my hands around his neck.
That’s when I realize he has a knife. Fuck. My suspicions aren’t that far-fetched, I think, when he presses the tip of the blade against my side.
Shift, a voice in my head says, and even without its encouragement, my body is subtly starting its change, as it does whenever I’m in a fight-or-flight situation.
Pulling the shift back is a bitch. Then I think—He has a blade? I have ten.
And let my claws out, pressing them on either side of his ribcage. I watch his eyes go round, and the color run out of his face.
His knife clatters to the ground when he realizes I can kill him before he even shouts for help. “Don’t,” he hisses. “Let me go.”
“Tell your friends to stop coming after me,” I hiss back, “and it’s a deal.”
“The lord… I can’t…”
“Fuck off.” I let him go, hiding my claws behind my back until I relax enough to retract them. “I said, run along now. I don’t have time for this shit.”
He turns and flees, and the urge to chase him down and finish him off has my teeth grinding together. This type of chase is a different kind of pleasure. Not sexual, just… gratifying.
Breathing hard, still annoyed with myself for getting caught off guard, I pace the yard up and down until my shift is reversed and my nails return to their normal shade and size. I pat my ears to check they aren’t animal ears, pat my ass for the tail.
I’m good. Ready to go back inside and continue this charade.
Then I stop in my tracks, because the most beautiful woman in the whole fucking world appears. She’s a vision, with her dark hair pulled back, a few loose strands teasing her long neck, her mouth like a rosebud. Her long, yellow and green dress seems to glow, flowing over her precious curves.
“Rosie,” I whisper, dropping to my knees, because damn, she’s a goddess and I can’t stand it. Can’t take it. “My Rosie.”
“Valen?” She frowns and hurries toward me. “What happened? Are you all right?”
“Not anymore,” I growl, leaping back to my feet and striding over to her. “You’re crying. What did he do now?”
“It’s not… it’s you.” She shoves me away, or tries to. “This is your fault.”
“What is?”
“Making me think men can be kind. That they can be… lovable.”
My heart swells. “Princess…”
She shakes her head. “He told me to stop talking to him unless he calls for me. Since I arrived here, he has told me that I’m ugly, undesirable, stupid, unnecessary, and unwanted.”
“I’m going to break his fucking neck,” I growl, my claws coming back, my teeth growing too long. “Going to fuck him up, cut him into tiny ribbons. Nothing will be left of him.”
Her eyes widen. “But he hasn’t hurt me.”
“You mean, physically? That’s his absolution?” I start toward the manor. “Fuck that.”
“No, Valen.” She hurries after me and puts her hand on my arm. It’s enough to stop me. Her every touch is a jolt going through me. On our journey together, I enjoyed it, but never appreciated what I had until I lost it. “Don’t.”
“Do you love him?” I demand. “Tell me you love him, that you really want to be with him, and I’ll go. Not knowing is the only reason I’ve stayed.”
She snatches her hand away, her blue eyes shimmering. “I can’t…”
“Please, Princess. I was on my knees before, and I’d do it again. Talk to me. Tell me the truth.”
“We’re to be married.”
“That’s not an answer!” I snarl.
Her face twists with anguish. “Stop. I thought you understood.”
“I want to understand. Talk to me.” I watch her face for answers, but all I notice is how thin and pale it is. How unwell she looks. “Lean on me and let me take care of you. Let me carry the weight. I want to fight for you. Please…” My voice drops. “Let me fight for you.”
“No fighting. I don’t want you hurt, and…” She lifts a hand to my face, her mouth trembling. “Gods, you’re bruised. What happened?”
I frown. “Nothing.”
“Those men I saw running away… they attacked you, didn’t they?” She smooths her hand over my jaw and her touch sets me on fire. “I’ve been seeing bruises on you for days, and you always laugh it off. You’re not brawling, are you? No, they’ve been after you.”
“I’ll be fine,” I growl. “You should see how bruised they are.”
Her gaze drops to my chest. “Why did you stay? I thought you said you’d leave.”
“I want to make sure you’re fine first.” I lift a hand cover hers, pressing it to my cheek. “Are you fine, Princess?”
A nod. “I’m okay.”
“Should I believe you?”
“You should.” She lifts her chin. “How about you?”
I lean into her touch, my eyes closing. “When I’m with you, I’m okay.”
She lifts her other hand, too, cupping my face. My lashes lift, and I gaze down into her bright eyes. “You can’t keep doing this, Valen. You don’t have to stay any longer.”
“Don’t you want me to?”
“What if I do? You shouldn’t stay because of me.”
“Don’t you know I’d do anything for you?
Don’t you know I wear your collar like a bonding gift?
” I lower her hands and kiss her palms, one after the other.
She shivers, that precious blush rising to her cheeks, and I’m so fucking hard for her, so fucking gone, I might die. “You could run away, Princess.”
“Where?” she whispers. “To the godsdamned mountains?”
My hackles rise. “Why not? I swear to you, we aren’t bad people. My family will love you. My friends already do.”
“I’m a human. You’re fae.”
“As if such cohabitation hasn’t happened before? They are more common than you think. Our people have been mingling for centuries.”
“They have also been at war for just as long,” she counters. “Attacking us. Stealing us away. Killing us.”
My jaw clenches. The past is rising between us like a wall. “Princess…”
“I can’t, Valen.” Her hands spasm against my cheeks. “I can’t.”
Bitterness wells in my throat. “Are you happy here? Tell me. I want to hear you say it.”
She frowns, her mouth tightening, but she can’t lie to me. “I will be.”
“Will you?” I release her hands to slide my palms over her shoulders and to the back of her neck, where silky strands have escaped her upswept do. Leaning in, I draw in her delicate, sweet scent. “I was made for you. You were made for me. It’s fate.”
“I don’t believe in fate,” she says, and when I draw back, needing to see the look in her eyes, she rises on tiptoe, throws her arms around my neck and kisses me.