8. Daire
Daire
Viktor was on the ground, half-conscious, before they dared to open the door to his cell. As soon as they stepped in, Ryan tied his hands behind his back and hauled him off the ground. Viktor groaned, his teeth bared in a grimace.
This was . . . awful. A high, keening whine played in my head.
I didn’t want this—not the power, and not his wolf, which so far had just made my life more complicated. I didn’t know why I did anything anymore. Was it me or his wolf or the fact that things had gone so far that people were dying and—and no sane person should simply take that in stride?
I didn’t even want to be a witchwolf, really. Yes, maybe Dakota Morris’s whole story sounded terribly romantic, that his mate loved him enough that the bite took and worked, but that was the part I liked. That was what I was jealous of.
Mother had compared becoming a witchwolf to being a witch with a nuclear reactor, but it was more like a nuclear bomb.
I’d be a weapon, her weapon, and I hadn’t even gotten my magic yet, much less figured out how I wanted to use it.
When I thought about how life would be after my awakening, I’d imagined simple spells, community, and yes, maybe one day I’d lead the coven, since everyone had always told me that was in my future. Perhaps before that I’d even find some way to impress my mother, and she’d see that I was worthy.
Maybe if I’d been born a girl, it wouldn’t have been so hard to prove it.
And maybe you’re making excuses for a monster.
I dragged my feet behind Ryan, who was holding Viktor.
Destiny brought up the rear, and her eyes on me made the hair at the nape of my neck stand on end.
I wasn’t going to run away if Mother had summoned me, but I didn’t know I’d be a part of this so directly, or why I needed an escort to get there.
I couldn’t assist with magic, and Mother usually kept me out of ritual casting. Perhaps, if I didn’t draw attention to myself, I’d be allowed to watch while the spell work was performed, but I’d never been requested.
We walked not into the pantry with Mother’s cauldron or the library where she had gathered her books, but outside, into the backyard of the compound, where a large fire had been built.
Smoke curled toward the stars above, light gray against the inky blue sky, disappearing into the clouds overhead.
Every member of the coven was dressed in white robes that caught the dim light. They’d gathered in a circle. At the cardinal directions, four witches were standing, chanting quietly, their voices in perfect harmony.
I looked around at the others gathered, and at Mother standing at a small table, set with tools of her craft.
I felt a strange gratitude that there wasn’t anything overtly bed-like laid out there on the ground. I didn’t realize until that moment how nervous I was that this would be something like an actual awakening, that Viktor would be expected to surrender his wolf and—and that too.
The awakening that I’d built up in my head for years would be twisted into a nightmare.
A cold sweat broke out over my skin. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go.
There were supposed to be soft smiles and gentle touches and some fucking privacy, just to start.
But maybe this wasn’t that. It wouldn’t require . . .
Well, I was fairly certain I wouldn’t even manage an awakening under these circumstances anyway. I wasn’t going to be with someone who didn’t want me, and Viktor definitely had not chosen this, and I hadn’t chosen it either.
Everything was wrong. A buzzing nervousness tingled in my head, and everyone’s heartbeats were too loud. They were excited, eager to see what’d happen, and that made me dread what was coming even more.
Ryan pushed Viktor into the open area by the fire. Mother’s nose flared as she sucked in a sharp breath, but she spun away before I could catch her eye.
“Bind them together,” she said.
“What?” I flinched when Destiny put her hands on me, but she turned me around so my back was to Viktor’s. I staggered away from her until my shoulders hit his back, and Ryan brought over a vine of night blooming purple flowers and tied it around my wrists and Viktor’s too.
What the hell was going on? Why not tell me?
Because she doesn’t trust you.
So what? My heart thundered at being restrained like this, and Viktor’s stillness only made my shaking all the more noticeable.
Behind me, he was infuriatingly calm. His heartbeat was steady, his breathing even. How the fuck was he not freaking out?
Maybe if I knew what was going on, I wouldn’t be on the edge of an anxiety attack. I didn’t like being bound, but at least this wasn’t an awakening. If Mother would just talk to me, I’d catch up. I wasn’t completely useless—at least, I didn’t think so.
She doesn’t need your understanding.
But didn’t she want it?
My heart was going to leap out of my chest. I was going to die.
Now you’re getting it.
Oh fuck. I was going to die.
Overhead, the clouds parted over the full moon, and when I craned my neck, I could see the shining silver dagger in Mother’s hand. She stalked toward us, her eyes on Viktor, because he was first.
He was the bigger threat to her, but I knew surer than I’d ever known anything that neither one of us would make it out of this.
I could hear the words she spoke, soft and Germanic and—and all about sacrifice.
I wasn’t being dramatic. I was literally going to die.
Panic clenched my gut and I gasped in air, only to feel a horrifying crack in my body. My arms weren’t supposed to bend backward. They snapped out of socket as the rest of my body writhed, and the very next second, they healed back in place. It really would be incredible, if it weren’t so painful.
My arms, thinner now, slipped from the vines and hit the dirt.
My spine wrenched, curving upward, and I let out a cry that was more like a howl, agony gripping every inch of me.
A few painful moments later, I lifted myself on shaky legs and felt my tail sweep the ground.
My claws dug in. Color had faded before my eyes, the crackling fire was too loud, and the scents were overwhelming.
Ash and blood and the scent of rain that was so familiar—magic swirling all around us, binding us together like that vine had.
Maybe Mother wouldn’t even need to cut my heart out herself. She’d take Viktor’s and that’d kill me all the same.
I yelped, shoving up on my two hind legs to prop an enormous paw on Viktor’s back. Witches around us stared on in horror at what I’d become, but there was no time to think about that. I slashed vine and rope both, tearing through them with my claws before all four feet hit the ground once more.
Come on, I wanted to shout at Viktor.
But all that came out was a bark.
He spun toward me, eyes wide and muscled arms spread, ready for an attack, fingers splayed like he was used to having claws of his own. When he saw me, a line puckered his brows. He scowled and cursed, but Mother’s shriek made him shake himself.
“Move,” he snapped, and he took off running.
And between a wolfless werewolf and my dagger-wielding mother? I’d take Viktor.