12. Daire
Daire
This was mortifying.
I was a witch without access to my own magic, and my options were to let Viktor carry me through the woods, my bare ass swinging through the breeze, back to his pack.
Or he could awaken my magic, and I could ward us and give us a chance to get our bearings. Maybe even find some solution to being stark naked in the wilderness.
I should’ve watched more Naked and Afraid, but how was I supposed to predict that’d become my life?
For Viktor, getting back to his pack as quickly as possible was probably the best option, but they’d welcome him home, protect him. Me? The second they learned that my coven had tried to sacrifice him, they’d tear me apart.
We’d never heard from Kate or Tristan after they’d gone looking for Altair. Maybe Tristan had read the text I’d sent about Ivan, but that could’ve been anybody. It could’ve been a werewolf, and I was just texting dead people to warn them about the murderous vampire headed their way.
Fuck, it would’ve been nice to have my phone, but it’d been in my pocket when the wolf had taken over, and I’d left my clothes along with everything else back at the coven house.
Anyway, I wasn’t just being selfish, wanting to get my footing and have some power of my own that I could control.
It was insane, for Viktor to try and carry us both.
I didn’t know if he was still stronger and faster than humans, but he hadn’t done anything totally crazy while we were escaping.
At least, nothing that a shredded guy used to running through the woods couldn’t do.
It was too far for Viktor to carry us, and if he tripped up or slowed down, the coven would catch up real quick.
We were better off here.
Probably.
That was what my gut was telling me, anyway.
You should listen to it more.
Whatever.
I peeled myself off the floor, both hands folded in front of parts of me that—that I was going to have to come around to letting Viktor see, if we were going to do this. But this whole time, he’d been staring at me like I was crazy, so I wasn’t sure we were.
“I won’t ask you to if you don’t want to, but I’m—I’m willing. I think it’s our best option, but I’m not—”
“Like the rest of your coven?”
I was going to say a rapist, but . . . yeah, I supposed to a Wildwood wolf, those could be one and the same. No one in the coven really had awakenings like I’d dreamed about anyway. Nobody had a love match for their first time.
Not all the wolves had seemed upset to participate, but I remembered the hard, unimpressed look in the big one’s blue eyes, how cold they’d looked while the others had touched him.
Now he was their alpha, and he was terrifying.
That was who I’d be facing if we managed to make it back to pack lands, and I didn’t think the wolf inside me would help out if he decided to get rid of me, which he had every reason in the world to do.
My stomach twisted, my gaze shot to the floor, and I swallowed past the planet-sized lump in my throat.
“We don’t have to,” I whispered.
“It’s fine.” From my periphery, I saw Viktor turn away and pull his shirt over his head. His movements were fluid, efficient. I glanced up to watch him, awed by the way the muscles moved under his skin.
His hair was about shoulder length, brushing across impossibly broad shoulders. He took off his pants too, and folded all his clothes and set them on a rock nearby.
When he turned back to me again, I flushed and blinked fast. “I, ah, I don’t think you’re drinking enough water.”
His scowl deepened as he stepped closer. “What?”
I glanced down, and—and I was not going to look past his navel. Nope. No, I wasn’t. Only, I’d gotten the impression of—well, he was big everywhere, wasn’t he? And he wasn’t abashedly trying to cover himself like I was. Maybe if you were perfect, you didn’t need to.
“Actors. Um. Sometimes, if they have to do a shirtless scene, they won’t drink water for a while. Makes their muscles more . . . more visible, I guess. So they look good for the camera. And yours are—”
A lot. They were a lot to look at.
Viktor hummed. “Your people offered me no drink.”
“R–Right.” Because they’d put him in that cell. “I’m sorry.”
He shrugged, coming to a stop right in front of me. “How do you like it?”
“Like sex?”
He nodded.
My mouth fell open while I struggled to find words. Human words. In a human language. About all the sex I hadn’t had.
“I—I don’t know.”
His lips pursed slightly. “You haven’t even been with a human?”
I shook my head. “I was . . . ” Fuck, I’d never felt so pathetic in all my life. “I was waiting for the right person for my, ah—awakening.” An awkward laugh escaped me, and I gave a little shake like I could get rid of my nerves so easily. “Maybe . . . can you top?”
It wasn’t just that he was tall and broad and muscular and the kind of guy I’d assume preferred that.
He . . . honestly, he probably had a nice ass too.
Not that I’d looked. Definitely hadn’t peeked below the waist. But we were in a cave, and this was .
. . this was my problem to bear. If it was uncomfortable, if we didn’t have the right things or weren’t compatible, I should be the one to—
Well, I’d just feel better if I didn’t put him out more than I already had and it was . . . it was easier to have a good time on top, right?
“Okay,” he said, which was just the kind of enthusiasm I’d always hoped to hear for my first time.
He looked me over, but his gray eyes gave absolutely nothing away. They were cold as steel in Alaska, and I wanted to shrivel under his stare.
I didn’t think I was so bad to look at. I liked my hair.
I burnt too easily in the sun, but I had freckles on my shoulders even when I didn’t get enough of it.
Obviously, I wasn’t going to even think about carrying a dude thirty miles through the woods—I was much more prone to reading inside, but I was . . . I was okay, right?
When he looked at me, I genuinely couldn’t tell if he thought so. Maybe I wasn’t his type at all. Maybe he was strictly straight.
Oh goddess, was I pressuring a straight guy to fuck my magic out of me?
I sucked in a sharp breath, and it jumped in my throat. “Are you sure this is okay?”
“Yes,” he said, easing my arms apart so my hands slid off my cock, which was .
. . okay, my dick was more than zero percent interested in what was going on.
Viktor’s hands were broad and a little rough.
I liked the feel of them on my skin, and I was undoubtedly standing across from the hottest man I’d ever seen, much less in person. Even less naked.
His fingers wrapped around it and stroked, and I swear, I was about to come out of my skin. I gasped. My hands clapped over my face. “Wait!”
Viktor froze, pulling away. He didn’t go far. I could still feel the heat radiating off his broad chest, so close the hair on it tickled my forearms.
I curled my fingers down so I could see him, but my hands still pressed against my cheeks like I hadn’t just spent the last hour with him, naked. It was different when he was touching me, thinking about fucking me.
“For this,” I choked out, “for this could you just . . . could you pretend you don’t . . . hate me? I know it’s not what you’d choose, but I don’t think I can—I just need—”
I needed him to want me, at least a little bit. I needed this first time to be something other than horrifying.
“Please,” I whispered. I couldn’t have spoken any louder if I wanted to. I couldn’t even draw in a full breath. “I am . . . I am so nervous, so just . . . please.”