20. Daire
Daire
“I like Drew,” I offered at once. Buddy wasn’t really a name, anyway.
Maybe for a pet? But Drew was clearly more than I’d known, and he deserved a name someone had given him out of love, not .
. . not convenience’s sake. Not because saying, “hey there, raccoon,” felt weirder than just calling him Buddy.
Fuck me, I’d been feeding an actual person kibble for years.
At least you fed him.
Sure, yeah, after my coven had left him an orphan. I’d heard of shifters going into their animal skins and staying that way. The world could get too much, or a traumatic loss might trigger it. But we had done that.
Had I still been a wolf, I’d have made my way to the river with my tail between my legs. To be totally frank, I didn’t much like the idea of taking a dunk in the river in late autumn, but I’d also just fucked on a cave floor and walked barefoot through the woods for hours.
This was easiest, and the last thing I was going to do was inconvenience the wolves on top of everything else. From the way Cash had stalked off, and the alpha with him, I suspected there’d be a long conversation about what to do with me.
Somehow, I doubted the pack had a cell to put me in, which just made my stomach roll over again.
Drew drifted close to me while we walked. He shrugged out of Viktor’s shirt and held it toward me. “Here, you can have this.”
I held up my hands. “Oh, no. No, it’s really okay. I’m—”
One of Drew’s jet-black eyebrows arched high. “Really. This bothers you way more than it bothers me. It’s okay.”
“I—”
We’d killed his parents. And there he was, smiling at me and offering me something he should’ve kept for himself and—
Fuck, my eyes stung. I did my best to discreetly wipe my tears away before anyone could make a big deal of them.
“You don’t have to be nice to me,” I whispered.
Drew’s lips puckered into a frown, like I’d just said the most confusing thing imaginable. “I know. Take it.”
My hands shaking, I held the bunched-up shirt against my chest and whispered, “Thank you.”
I pulled it overhead. Even though I could hear the flow of water, that cotton shield did make me feel a little better until we got there. It wasn’t just the shirt itself, but Viktor’s scent on the fabric, surrounding me. Safe.
The other werewolves had let us go alone, mostly. It was Drew and Viktor and me, sure, but otherwise, only his twin brother had followed us toward the water.
He didn’t say anything, but I could feel his eyes roaming between me and his brother. I noticed the way he stuck close to Drew.
I didn’t mean Drew any harm, but . . . but I didn’t begrudge him the protection either.
At the river’s rocky edge, I stood with my toes submerged. Yeah, this was too fucking cold, but I’d be fast.
I was bracing to take Viktor’s shirt off when his brother stopped directly beside me. His hair was neatly trimmed, and his face, while handsome, wasn’t as sharp as Viktor’s, like he’d eaten more or—or maybe it was the subtle smile lines around his mouth that Viktor didn’t have.
His gray eyes were twinkling when he introduced himself. “I’m Leo.”
“It’s, um . . . nice to meet you. Daire,” I said, offering him my hand.
He snorted. “Yeah, I know.”
He stepped into the water ahead of me, sinking down without so much as a shiver.
With a heavy sigh, I pulled Viktor’s shirt off, set it on a larger rock, and followed him in. Drew splashed along the edge, and for a few moments, Viktor just watched.
His gaze skimmed the trees—looking for threats? I didn’t hear any. Just the night bugs and frogs croaking nearby.
He was the last to toe off his shoes, leaving his pants, and get in the water.
And Leo was still staring at me, a smile on his face like the cat who’d snatched the cream.
“You smell like my brother,” he said. His eyes narrowed slightly, but his lips were still curled in a smile. Of course, nothing about him looked quite so imposing as Viktor. How could they be built of the same parts and look so obviously different?
“Um, yeah . . . ” Heat flooded my face, which made the water less bracing as I scrubbed my hands over my skin. Viktor offered me a bar of soap, and I took it with quiet thanks. “We . . . had to . . . ah, a-awaken. My . . . magic?”
Yeah, getting that out felt as horrible as I thought it would, but I wasn’t going to try and lie to wolves with their sense of smell and who knew what else? I’d done enough harm here already.
“Leave him alone,” Viktor grumbled. “I thought what happened in our bedrooms was none of each other’s business?”
Leo snorted. “Yeah, sure. The ship on that’s sailed. Monkey see, monkey do.”
“Monkey pee all over you,” Drew added, grinning wide and splashing Leo.
Leo laughed, and the sound unlocked some of the tension in my chest. He couldn’t be that angry, with a full-belly laugh like that.
“It was our best course of action,” Viktor said. I hoped he believed that, as devoid of feeling as it made the whole thing sound.
I knew we weren’t anything. Us having sex was a means to an end. But there’d been moments, like when we were kissing, or when he wrapped his arms around me, that were—okay, they were enough to confuse a guy.
Or maybe I was just an idiot who couldn’t keep a grip on the fact that I was the problem and wouldn’t ever be anything but the problem. I wasn’t, like . . .
Well, I didn’t think there’d be a repeat performance.
“It . . . wasn’t planned,” I said. Would that make it any better?
Without Viktor’s magic, I wasn’t sure we’d have made it here.
“And—and Viktor did a great job. With magic,” I hastened to add. “He really saved our butts.”
Leo hummed, considering me again.
As hard as it was to tell what Viktor was thinking or feeling, I wasn’t sure Leo was that much easier. He was smiling, but I wasn’t totally sure whether that was because he hated me and was hiding it, or he really was that nice.
“You really didn’t know what your mother’s been up to with the ritual? Stealing Viktor’s wolf?”
I shook my head. “I really didn’t know. The spell hit Viktor, and I felt it.
I knew something was going on, but when I asked her what, she—” I shivered, remembering what it was not to breathe, to have even that basic need stolen from me.
“She wouldn’t tell me. I didn’t know I had his wolf, and I definitely wouldn’t have guessed he had my magic, but .
. . I’m not sure that’s any excuse. I should’ve paid more attention.
” I glanced over at Drew, who was distracted pulling worn, smooth rocks off the riverbed and inspecting them, though I couldn’t guess what for. “A lot more attention, apparently.”
A twisted, pained sort of look crossed Leo’s face, pulling the corners of his lips down.
He ran his hand through his damp hair. “Sure, but she’s your mother.
Sometimes, even if you know exactly what’s going on, you can’t fix it like you’d want to.
Bad shit changes by increments. It’d be swell if it didn’t, but .
. . well, you didn’t have magic, right? What were you going to do? ”
More.
“I don’t know,” I said. “But I hope I can do more moving forward.”
Leo’s smile returned. “Yeah. That’s the way to go.”
By the time we were done washing up, Altair had brought a stack of folded clothes for us, and I’d never been so glad to see jeans in my fucking life. I put on briefs and dragged the jeans over my hips and—yes, I absolutely was going to wear the thick sweater he’d brought.
Something that cozy? I might just wear it for the rest of my life.
Drew dug through everything, but in the end, he settled on Viktor’s shirt again, leaving Viktor once more without.
And Leo there, insisting that he carry the rest of it so Altair didn’t have to lift a finger.
The vampire was clearly charmed, and it was nice. Maybe I wasn’t a part of this, but it existed, and that was something to appreciate.