Chapter 8 Whitney #2
He holds me close, and I’m overrun with his presence. His body feels solid, pressed up against mine, and my own body thrums with awareness at how we seem to fit perfectly together. Theo watches me with his warm eyes. His tongue darts out to wet his lower lip, and my belly clenches.
We dance together for a few songs, lost in the feel of each other’s body. As I stare into his eyes, I let my mind wander and imagine what it would be like to have this be my life. To be held in Theo’s arms all the time, rather than just occasionally.
“You look beautiful tonight,” he whispers, his voice laced with desire.
I look down at my skin-tight, black dress, and my body heats up.
I turn my gaze back up to Theo, watching him from under my eyelashes.
“Thank you.” And maybe it’s the effects of the alcohol tonight, or maybe how the way he’s looking at me seems to make me brave, but I steel myself and say, “You look handsome tonight too.”
Even in the dark, I can see how his eyes flare appreciatively. A low sound grumbles from deep in his chest, and he takes a deep breath.
“I don’t like how Chase was looking at you today,” he admits begrudgingly. His hands flex possessively on my lower back; for the first time in a long time, I feel wanted. “And I apparently don’t like seeing you flirt with other people either.”
I look up at his face, trying to dampen the anticipation welling in my chest. “No one was flirting with anyone.”
He laughs under his breath and turns his gaze away. “I know I shouldn’t be having these feelings of having any type of possession over you, much less expressing them. It’s inappropriate. Unprofessional.”
My head spins but I blink it away, trying to make my eyes focus on Theo standing in front of me. I’m not sure if the dizziness is from the euphoric setting of the club, the heat of the dancing, or the quick change of direction our conversation is going.
“I think me choosing to dance with my boss at a nightclub is just as bad as admitting you don’t like your brother hitting on me,” I tease back, trying to ease some of whatever inner guilt he’s working through right now.
Theo’s eyes find mine again, and he draws me closer to him. His neck bends forward until he’s leaning his forehead against mine. The length of his nose presses along mine. His eyelids flutter closed, and he breathes deeply, as if reveling in our closeness.
“I just don’t know what to do with how I’m feeling,” he says, his voice low. He pulls away so he can look into my eyes. “When I’m with you, I feel like I’m spinning out of control, and I can’t stop it.”
My breath hitches, and I nod my head. “I think I feel the same way.”
“How long do you think we can pretend that there isn’t anything between us?” he asks. “Because there is, Whitney. There’s something between us, you know it. I know it.”
“I don’t—”
“Hey, lovebirds!” The sound of my best friend’s voice breaks us out of the trance we were falling into.
Theo’s hands immediately fall from my waist, and he takes a few steps away from me.
I snap my head around to see Leila standing a few feet away, attached to Chase’s hip.
“We’re heading out. Just in case you were wondering where we went when you decide to look for us. ”
The two of them don’t stick around for a response, but their interruption was like a bucket of cold water dropping over my head. I cross my arms over my chest and look at Theo warily. His brow furrows like he’s about to protest, and he reaches for me again, but I skitter away.
I go back to our booth and take a long drink of water. His presence is evident behind me, my body hyperaware of his, but I don’t turn around, still drinking and rehydrating myself—coming back down from the high of being held in his arms.
When I set the cup down on the table, I finally turn to him. “I think I should go too. I’ll see you Monday.” He looks like he’s about to protest but I tear my gaze away from him, avoiding eye contact so I don’t give into my need for him.
I walk away from him again before he has the chance to say otherwise. I quickly make my way out of the club, ignoring the few catcalls or appreciative glances as I go. My fingers fly across my phone screen as I order a rideshare to come to pick me up.
The minute I’m outside on the sidewalk, I take a big gulp of fresh air, glad to be out of the mixture of sweat and pheromones.
But still, I’m not entirely on my own.
I sense him as he walks up next to me. Theo watches me warily as he comes to stand right by my side.
“Well,” he says, looking around at the sidewalk. It must have rained while we were in there. The streets have a glisten of moisture covering them, and the earthy scent of a storm lingers in the air. “Need a ride?”
I fold my hands together in front of me and shake my head. “No, I’ll get an Uber.”
Theo’s lips turn down at this. “Whitney, I don’t think—”
“It’s fine. I do it all the time. I’ve already ordered one anyway.”
He exhales, defeated. “Fine. How far are they?”
I pull out my phone and check the app. “Two minutes.”
Theo nods. “I’ll wait with you.”
I don’t protest, knowing it would fall on deaf ears.
Theo sidesteps so he’s closer to me. I can feel the warmth radiating off of him in the cool night and I want to press myself up against his side, even though I know I should be going the other way.
He seems to give anyone who walks even remotely too close to me the stink eye, silently warning them to keep their distance.
I chew on the inside of my lip, feeling awkward. I wish this damn Uber would hurry up. Too many things happened tonight, and I need to be home—away from Theo—to fully process them.
I can't seem to think straight when he’s standing this close to me. Maybe it's the way his cologne makes my head spin or the apparent attraction between us. Either way, I feel like I completely lose my brain whenever I seem to need it most, which is when he’s right next to me.
After what feels like an eternity, my Uber pulls up next to the curb. I give Theo a wane smile, which he doesn’t return, and then quickly shuffle myself into the vehicle. The driver greets me, and I politely say hello back.
As he pulls away from the nightclub, I turn around to see Theo standing on the curb, looking after me.
I watch him closely until we round the corner, and he’s out of sight. Then I fall back in my seat and close my eyes, leaning my head back against the rest.
Theo may feel like he’s the one spinning out of control, but I sometimes feel even worse off.
At least he can put meaning into the way he’s feeling.
I’m just over here, silently falling harder and harder for the one person I can’t have—my boss.
Maybe in a different reality, we’d find each other and we wouldn’t work together at a company that had a strict no dating policy.
I don’t know what I’m going to do about this.
When I think about having to ignore everything I’m feeling for him, it makes my chest hurt.
My heart is telling me to take the risk and make a move, but my mind is convincing me I can’t.
I could quit Nexus, but I love this company, and I’d hate to let Mr. Peterson down, despite the fact that he’s not here to witness it.
I wonder what he’d say if he could see this mess I’ve made. I’m sure he’d be disappointed in my lack of professionalism, yet at the same time, I wonder if he’d urge me forward, telling me to listen to my heart instead of my brain for once.
But for now, my brain is still in control. Before I even get home, I decide to go into self-preservation mode. There’s no time for any of this heart business right now. All that matters is that I do my job and help Theo succeed at his.
Surely, that’s the best course of action, right?
I suppose only time will tell.