Chapter 22 Whitney
Whitney
“Are you okay?” Theo asks into the darkness when he detects that I’m awake again. I must have dozed off at some point during the night, but now, again, I’m awake and forced to face the aftermath of today.
My eyes burn, and I squeeze them shut, trying to fight off more tears. Theo’s arms tighten around me, and he pulls me closer into his chest. I grip onto his shirt for dear life, not caring that I’m getting makeup all over the white fabric.
My whole world was flipped upside down yesterday. Am I okay?
Absolutely not.
But having Theo here with me has been helpful.
He’s been holding onto me for the entire night. At some point, he lifted me into his arms and brought me to bed so I didn’t spend the entire evening crying on the couch. He tucked me in and curled up against my back, spooning me and whispering soothing words into my ear the entire night.
I barely slept a wink, my mind too perturbed by the news that was delivered yesterday.
I was trying to make sense of it all, but it wasn’t working.
For whatever reason, no matter which way I spun it, I couldn’t see why Mr. Peterson would do such a thing.
And I couldn’t imagine him being in that moment where he made the decision to steal from his company like that.
The version of him that I knew was not the version of him that he actually was.
The worst part of it all is that he’s not even here anymore. I wish he was still alive so I could confront him about this. Look him square in the eye and force him to explain to me why he did this. Why would he risk everything he had worked so hard to build?
He leans down and presses a kiss on my forehead. He lingers, breathing me in and exhaling warm breath down against my hair. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers.
I’ve got to give it to Theo—he knew how badly this would hurt me, but he also knew how important it was that I know the truth about this matter. Even though he was the one to rip the rug out from under me, he was simultaneously the one to catch me before I hit the bottom.
Even when it hurts, I always want my partner to tell me the truth. And then I need to be able to trust that they’ll be by my side even when things get rough—like they did yesterday.
Number 1: Trustworthy
If I hadn’t trusted Theo before this fiasco, I know I can now. He’s proven to me that he’s not going to turn my life upside down without being there to help me right it again.
With that in mind, I pull back a little until I can see his face. Even in the darkness, I can make out Theo’s features and his soft eyes as he studies me. I can see how he is hurting, too. Hurting for me.
“Hi,” I whisper to him.
Theo’s hand comes up to the side of my face, and he strokes his thumb over my cheek so gently that I almost don’t feel it. “Hi.”
I swallow, my throat and tongue feeling thick. I could use some water. Crying always seems to dehydrate me more than anything. “What time is it?”
“Almost five-thirty.” Theo shifts a little, glancing at his expensive wristwatch. “I should probably get going soon.”
I exhale, defeated. “Yeah. I’ll need a shower. Do you think we could stop and get coffee—”
“Whitney,” Theo cuts me off by saying my name. His voice is so tender that it halts me in my tracks and derails whatever I am about to say. I look up at him with wide eyes. Something flits across Theo’s face, regret maybe, before he says, “I think you should take the day off.”
“What?” I ask, shocked. “But I can’t. We have the meeting coming up, and all those reports have to get finished.”
“I can handle it,” he says, running his hand down my face again. “I just don’t think the office is where you need to be today. Take the day, do something fun—maybe see if Leila is available for a spa day or something.”
“She’s in school,” I say woefully.
“Well then, just take yourself.” He looks at me earnestly. “Whatever you want to do, I’ll pay for it.”
“Theo,” I start to protest, but he shuts me up again by leaning down and pressing a kiss to my lips.
This is the first time he’s ventured into a real kiss since the whole debacle.
And I missed him. I sigh happily against him, shifting on the bed until we’re closer together.
He wraps me up in his arms and holds me like I’m the most precious thing to him.
When we pull apart, my lips feel swollen. Theo’s brown eyes are gleaming with desire, but I sense that he’s not going to request more of me this morning.
“I’ll leave one of my cards on the counter,” he tells me. “Do whatever you want to do today, and then I’ll come back over tonight, and maybe we can talk some more if you have any other questions. How does that sound?”
I nod, still a little unsure of what to do with this gift. I can’t remember the last time I was ever awarded a day off that wasn’t a holiday. “Sure.”
He kisses me again before rolling out of bed and staggering into my bathroom. I note the shower turning on and contemplate going in to join him. A part of me feels desperate for a shower to help wash away the tears of last night. But I don’t. I curl up into my pillows and close my eyes.
I must doze off again because I jolt awake when Theo’s lips touch my forehead. I moan and shift a little so I can see him better.
“I’m leaving, baby,” he whispers. “Just text me if you need anything today, okay?”
I nod and reach my arms up around his shoulders, drawing him down into a hug. He buries his face in the crook of my neck and breathes me in. After a moment, he untangles himself and then kisses me one more time before sneaking out of my room.
The bed feels lonely now without him. I reach my hand across the mattress, already finding the space where he was lying cold from the time it took him to shower and get ready to leave. I bury my face in my pillows, trying to ward off the familiar burn in my eyes.
When I finally emerge from my bed a few hours later, I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck. I draw myself a hot bath and let myself soak in the warm water, feeling some of the tension release from my shoulders and neck.
After drying off, I manage to find some of my comfiest clothes and shuck them on before wandering out of my bedroom and into the main living space of my apartment.
My eyes immediately find the vibrant purple orchid sitting on my kitchen counter.
The sight makes my chest ache, and I wander over to it, my fingers gently stroking over the smooth petals.
Right next to the pot is a black Amex card and a scribbled note from Theo.
Whit,
Take care of yourself today. Do whatever your heart desires. I can’t wait to see you again tonight. I’ll be counting the minutes.
Love,
Theo
I trace the letters of his sign-off, unable to fight the smile forming on my face. If this were any other man, I’d take the instruction with a grain of salt, but I know Theo means every word, and he wouldn’t leave his card for me if he didn’t.
With that in mind, I find myself at a salon and spa less than an hour later, checking in for a last-minute massage. After my muscles are certifiably jello and my mind much quieter, I go down the street to Uncommon Grounds and get myself a coffee and breakfast.
While I sit, I try my hardest not to let my mind wander back into the dark place thinking about Mr. Peterson and all of his transgressions, but it’s easier said than done.
Still, as if my mind is on a constant reel of the past, all I can think about are the good times spent with Mr. Peterson throughout the years.
It makes my chest feel tight, and my shoulders slowly start inching their way back up to my ears, undoing all the effects of the relaxing massage I had this morning.
I decide I need to do something else. Sitting here and being alone with my thoughts isn’t working. Glancing at my phone, I see it’s almost lunchtime already. Finally, my thoughts turn back to Theo, which I’m much more content with.
I wonder how his day is going, if he’s being productive or finding himself lost in the stacks of work he still has to complete before his big Board review in the next few weeks. It’s so weird not being at the office on a workday. It's weird not being with Theo all day too.
Something deep inside my chest urges me to go see him. I glance at the clock again and then reach for my phone, pulling up the phone number for JT's Pub. Making a quick call, I place an order for both him and myself and then leave the coffee shop to go pick it up.
It’s ready by the time I get there, and I thank them before taking it and making my way to the big eleven-story building where I spend most of my days.
I get a few surprised hellos from the front desk workers when they see me walk in in regular street clothes.
I wave back and go straight to the elevators, clicking the button for the top floor.
It is strange being here off the clock. Like I’m an outsider looking in.
I walk past my desk, not bothering to glance at the to-do list that I had meticulously prepared for today, deciding it will still be there for me to tackle tomorrow.
I knock twice on Theo’s door and wait for his invitation to enter.
When it comes, I open the door and peek my head in.
He’s sitting behind his desk, head bowed and curly hair falling forward.
Chase stands off to the side of his desk, his finger pointing at something that Theo is reading.
Whatever it is, it must be troubling based on the stern expression on Theo’s face.
But when he looks up, that firm expression morphs into something far more desirable.
The man who is quickly becoming my everything sees me walk in, and his eyes light up with emotion that has my heart stuttering in my chest.
With the pure admiration on his face, I can’t help but wonder if I already am his everything.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, fighting off a smile. It makes my heart do crazy things, that he’s so excited to see me at the office today. Chase is watching the two of us with an amused expression.
I hold up the to-go bag as a way of explanation. “I brought you lunch.”
“That’s my cue to leave,” his brother says before rounding Theo’s desk and walking out of his office. He pats my shoulder twice as he passes me, and I shoot him a tight smile.
Once we’re alone, Theo stands and walks toward me. I set the food on a small table and melt into Theo’s arms as he wraps them tightly around me. He buries his nose in my hair and gives a content sigh once I’m pressed against his chest.
“I decided I couldn’t stay away,” I mutter into his suit jacket.
His chest rumbles with a chuckle as he releases me and raises his hands to cup my jaw. He tilts my face up until I’m staring directly at him. His expression is soft, pleased.
“I’m so glad. It’s been miserable being here today without you. I wasn’t sure I was going to last until tonight.”
With no further fanfare, Theo leans down and kisses me firmly. When he pulls away, he eyes the bag of food I brought. A mischievous smile plays on his lips, and he reaches for it.
“So what did you bring me?”
“Something incredibly unhealthy,” I tease him.
He now grins at me. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
Theo leads me over to his desk and brings a chair off to the side so I can sit next to him. After unpacking our food, we both dig in.
As I sit there next to him, stuffing my face with onion rings and a greasy cheeseburger, I feel content. I’m instantly grateful I decided to listen to the urge that was drawing me to be with him.
We make small talk in between bites, and every once in a while, I’ll catch Theo’s eyes on me, something indescribable behind that familiar, warm, chocolate brown. My mind flits back to the note he left me on my counter this morning, and a warm ball of something blooms into my chest.
I never saw this man coming, but now that he’s here, I don’t think I can ever picture a life without him.