Chapter Five #3
Ann followed him, hovering until she realized that he was going to lie down. She pulled the blinds, dimming the room and let him mercifully be.
Ann wondered if Michael had a headache or if he was just depressed at the failure of his efforts. He had known he would not be able to write but he had tried anyways. Her heart ached for him.
Drawn back to the study, she picked out a volume at random from the row of journals. Each were leather bound vellum, two inches thick. They were beautiful books filled with Michael is beautiful script.
Opening it to the beginning she sat in one of the comfortable armchairs by the window and began to read.
It was a story. A children’s story full of creatures from the beach and ocean.
Words were crossed out, rewritten and circled.
A few pages later, the story started again, this time it was a perfect draft of the other story, copied painstakingly from the earlier draft.
There were pictures of the creatures and their adventure.
Ann enjoyed it immensely. She could not believe that Michael had written such a thing.
He was always so serious and here was an amusing story of imagination.
How many times had she seen him writing at his desk during the early afternoon and she had thought that it was likely to do with the many legal issues the company dealt with? Michael had deceived them all. He was a writer at heart.
And now he could no longer practice his craft. It was incredibly sad.
She skipped a couple of pages and skimmed through journal entries about business at the company.
This journal was old. The date put it a few months after she had been hired.
She wondered what he had thought of her back then.
She flipped through to find an entry with her name.
There she was. The memory was detailed as if it had happened yesterday, and she remembered it.
He had asked her for a specific document that he needed for the afternoon meeting.
She remembered having it on her desk but after a search, she had not found it.
Ann had begun a mad scramble trying to find it.
The old secretary had left, and it was now her job to know these things.
To be organized and ready. Yet she could not find the file.
She panicked and gone through everything again.
She made a complete mess out of what was on the desk, in the desk.
She was in the middle of the file cabinets when Michael had asked her for the document because the meeting was going to start in fifteen minutes, and he wanted to brush up on a particular clause.
Ann must have looked absolutely horrified because he had knelt beside her and asked what was wrong.
She admitted to misplacing the file. Then, like the wonderful man he was, Michael had calmly started the search with her again, going through everything like they had all the time in the world to find the file.
It had stilled her nerves and Ann had been able to focus.
She was certain she had lost her job, that he would fire her, but she was determined to finish the day and find the file.
A complete search of the office had determined that the file was not there.
Michael sat her down, gave her a glass of water and gently coaxed her through what she had done that day.
Finally, they realized that the document was probably in the shredding room, waiting or already shredded.
There was no copy. Ann had felt close to tears over her mistake.
She had picked up the pile of files to go there and had probably scooped it up with the ones that were to be destroyed.
Michael simply listened. He told her it was going to be okay.
They went to the copy room and found the file in a pile waiting to be destroyed.
The meeting had already started. He had taken the time to escort her back to the office and gave her a couple of memos to type.
When she asked him if she was fired, he had said of course not.
She knew to double check her work now. He had invested far too much time and training into her to have her leave.
Then he went to his meeting. They never discussed what happened ever again.
Reading Michael is version fit with hers.
Only it showed his surprise that she thought she should be fired.
It told how she reminded him of Max once in a while, young and impetuous.
How she was improving as a secretary. Also, how he though her skirt was a little short.
The men in the copy room had been looking at her legs.
Her appearance reflected on him. While he thought her legs were long and lovely, he simply must put an end to this.
Ann smiled. He liked her legs. She thought back and recalled that was the week he talked to her about the harassment policy and dress code.
She had been mortified then. Now she was thankful.
He had kindly reminded her of who she was striving to be, a professional secretary, involved keeping up appearances.
Thanks to the journal, she now knew he liked her legs.
Well, they were not at work anymore. Maybe she should keep wearing shorts. She wondered if she had packed her short shorts. She had kept up at the gym and was still slim and leggy. If he admired legs, maybe he would get a view.
She put the journal back and selected one, checking the dates. It was perhaps five years old. She settled down and read about his reaction to her dating Roy.
He listed Roy is occupation, yearly earnings, that he used improper tax reporting, height, weight, age… it was all here! Ann sat up straight. It was worse than an employee file. It was also illegal. What had Michael been thinking? He investigated her boyfriend!
He went on to document dates that they went on. It was all there between work related items that he had written down. Then, right in plain sight, Michael had written,
What kind of a name is Roy? It is a stupid name. Leroy. It sounds like something someone would name their bloodhound. She cannot possibly be serious dating him. He cheats on his taxes.
Ann stared at the words. He had never said anything against Roy.
He had never commented on anyone she had dated.
It was the reason she felt he had absolutely no romantic feelings toward her.
She was shocked that he disliked Roy so much.
She dated Roy for nearly a year before finally breaking it off because he just was not Michael.
Ann flipped a few more years and found a poem. It was beautiful. It described a woman who sounded like perfection itself. It was romantic.
Michael was in love. She swallowed thickly.
Michael was in love with the beautiful, perfect mystery woman with silky hair, perfect curves and a seductive smile.
Suddenly she felt like the bottom had dropped out of her world.
She had known that Michael was not in love with her but had always assumed the possibility, the hope that he might come to do so existed.
She never thought for an instant that he was in love with someone else.
Ann shut the journal. She didn’t want to know anymore.
∞
Something had changed while he was sleeping. Ann was still hovering, keeping him company, being solicitous but she seemed sad and depressed. He was sad and depressed. Still, she had not been earlier. Concerned yes, not looking like someone had taken away her favorite toy.
Now he was worried about her. Michael let her choose the movie.
He let her choose the snack. He got up to refill her drink.
Finally, he paused the movie and turned to look at her.
She was not paying attention to the movie anyways.
He instinctively knew it. Now she looked at him and he wondered what he could do to fix whatever was upsetting her.
Michael reached out a finger and gently traced her frown lines between her eyebrows.
She sighed.
So he took her in his arms and just held her. If she was not going to talk, then he didn’t know what he could do. She leaned on him. Michael waited patiently and was finally rewarded.
“I just realized today that I have loved someone for a very long time, but he will never love me back,” she sniffled and wiped her eyes. “I am so stupid.”
Michael is brow furrowed as he thought. Ann loved someone? He didn’t like the idea at all.
Then he suddenly knew who it was. Max. They each had received an invite to the wedding today.
Max and Ann were nearly the same age. When Max had worked for Ramesly Pharmaceuticals Michael had seen him flirt with Ann.
Truth be told, Max had flirted with every female back then.
What if Ann had let herself fall in love with him?
The thought made him sick. His Ann, in love with his youngest brother who was shortly getting married.
Michael just held her. He didn’t know what else to do. Ann fell asleep so he gently settled them both on the couch, pulling a throw over her. He kept holding her, wishing impossible things.