Chapter Seven
My face nestles further into the warmth. I’m swaddled like a baby, wrapped tight inside my sleeping bag. Usually, I would find this claustrophobic, but somehow the heat emanating off my pillow is settling me, melting my mood into a lazy puddle.
That is, until my mind slowly awakens. I move my leg and collide with a knee. A long, firm thigh that definitely does not belong to me is entwined with mine. I tense all over, my heart racing, heat pouring through me like my body is harbouring a volcanic eruption. I scramble, my legs and arms pushing against the boiling body beside me.
“Let me out!” I squeal.
“Jesus,” the voice grunts as my knee collides with his unfortunates. “Argh!”
I somehow manage to spin around, unzipping the impossibly tight sleeping bag, and rolling to the other side of the tent.
I suck in a breath. Bugger . It’s so cold outside of my cocoon. “Ugh, shitting shit.”
“ What are you doing ?” James growls, zipping himself back up. “You’re unhinged, I swear.”
I grab at my discarded fleece, dragging it over my head. There’s absolutely no way this can end well. He’s going to remember this moment of weakness and hold it against me forever.
How did I end up in his sleeping bag?
Last night starts to come back to me. I remember the voice. The warmth embracing me… Oh god! A rush of embarrassment pours through me. I want the ground to open up and swallow me whole. I need to escape.
James has turned over and is quietly breathing again as if he’s fallen back to sleep, so I slide my trainers on and escape the tent out into the freshest air I’ve ever experienced. It eclipses my senses. There’s a crisp breeze racing through the valley, slicing at my cheeks. I stand tall, watching a huge bird swoop down towards a shallow river that curves around the hills. My hair is loose without an Alice band to hold it back. The wind lifts it, forcing me to tuck it behind my ears.
This is surreal. How am I waking up here? There’s not another human being in sight. Except, that is, for the man in the tent who is never, ever, ever, going to let me live last night down. I slap my hands to my face to cover my eyes. How have I gone from despising the man to using his body as a personal radiator in a space of twelve hours?
I let my hands fall to my sides and shake my limbs out. I find our bags, tucked under the front awning of the little tent, and take out a protein bar. Another thought hits me like a brick being thrown from a tall building.
An involuntary sob leaves my lips as I realise there’s no caffeine in our bags. No tea, no coffee, not even caffeine gels. I’m going to have to rely on water. I’m going to have to push through inevitable withdrawal symptoms.
“Stop freaking out,” comes a ragged voice from within the tent.
I try. But another sob climbs my throat, forcing its way out of me. I walk away, towards the treeline again where I find my bra, chilled from being left out, damper somehow despite the dry night. I tuck it into my fleece pocket to warm before daring to put it on. I perch on the cold, hard ground at the top of a steep incline that’s smattered with thorny bushes, their wildflowers awakening within, showing off their colours in this early summer sunshine. Hugging my knees, I focus on a patch of bluebells, swaying lightly in the breeze, to ground me. A squirrel scurries past, pausing to eye me up, then shoots back into the overgrowth.
I hear the tent opening again. A scrunched-eyed James clambers out, squinting across at me as he clumsily puts his trainers on. I look away, swiping at my eyes with my sleeve, sniffing. At least he’s put a top on now. The memory of his bare chest pressing against me in the night makes me momentarily nauseous. Not because it wasn’t nice, but because it was sort of, really, really nice.
He sits down beside me, unwrapping his protein bar too and taking a bite. “You were shivering and mumbling incoherently. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Let me die?” I suggest, still refusing to look at him, rocking myself gently.
“I’m not going to let you die,” he says, softly. I look back across at him as he rubs his tired face. His black hair is slightly lighter than usual in its dry, floppy mess. Tawny shades linger at the roots as if he’s got natural highlights. I have a sudden urge to reach out and touch it. I guess I’m overreacting. Surely what he did was kind. I’m lucky he runs at a sweltering temperature compared to me. “It wouldn’t be any fun to tell everyone at work how we cuddled in the same sleeping bag if you were dead.”
And my mood dissipates. “You’re such an arse!”
He laughs. “Whatever. I wasn’t even going to make such a thing of it, but you latched on. You wedged your face right in. What was I supposed to do? Push you away?”
“Yes! Yes , James.”
“You were just cold, it was methodical. What are you so worried about? And by the way, there’s no way I can win in this situation because not only did you panic and knee me in the balls this morning, you also would’ve gone for me if I’d left you shivering.”
I frown into the distance. “It’s always about you, isn’t it?” I quip. “Are you really going to tell everyone?”
James chews for a moment longer, takes a sip from his bottle. “No.”
I release a breath which says more than I’d like it to.
“What’s the plan today, then?” he asks. “Shall we look at this map again?” James suggests, nipping back to the tent to grab it, then spreading it out in front of us.
I peer at it with him for a few seconds without saying anything. It’s all blurring in front of my eyes. It’s all the same. Hills, and woodlands, and lakes… How the hell are we supposed to know where to start? “I need a coffee.”
“Same,” James grumbles. “I think we’re here,” he says, pointing to what looks like an incline, the lines closer together. He takes a deep breath as he tilts his head to the side. “What do you think that is?”
“That’s a river…”
“Not that. I know what a river is, Felicity. I meant this, here.”
“Oh, is that a castle?”
James frowns. “Or a hotel? Look, it has this drive all the way along here.”
“There’s no way that’s a hotel.”
“It might be.”
“Maybe we should just follow the road back? It looks like a long walk…” I say, earning myself an exasperated look from James.
“I’m sorry. Is my route too far for you? The road will be further. At least this way we have a potential hotel. That way, we already know is a load of potholes and gravel. Do you remember my plan yesterday about walking separately in different directions to find help? Doing this was your idea. Did you not factor in long walks?”
I huff. This is ridiculous. It’s such a risky, insane idea to send two of your most important staff off to the middle of nowhere with virtually no safety equipment and a ￡50 note. A thought occurs to me. The pang of anxiety that sits deep in my belly hasn’t moved since early yesterday morning and it might be because… “Do you think Michael wants us dead?”
James laughs at my remark as if I’m joking.
“I’m serious. Do you think he’s trying to kill us? I thought we were doing a pretty good job at Starr. I mean I get that we were at each other’s throats a lot. That must’ve been awkward for the rest of the team. But in my defence, you’re a real pain in my arse.”
James opens his mouth to respond but I carry on before he can. “But I think we’re actually very good at our jobs though, right? And by the sounds of it, he’s getting a real fucking bargain out of me. So, why kill us? Why do this?”
“I told you already. He’s an arse-raving lunatic.”
“No, he’s not! He always has a plan… And his vision—”
“Stop!” James yells. “This is part of the reason I cannot stand to work with you. You’re always on his side. I can’t trust you at all. And neither do most of your team, by the way. And yes, I know this. You know how? My team talk to me . A few of them are actually dating people in your team. Did you know that?”
I gasp. “No? They wouldn’t!”
“Wouldn’t what? Date well-paid, charismatic people they work with?”
“ No … Is that what you think you are? Charismatic? So humble. I mean my team wouldn’t betray me like that. And we do talk, for your information. We talk all the time.”
James huffs, shaking his head as he rises to his feet.
I snort, annoyed. He doesn’t know how my team are with me. They’re loyal and hardworking. They’d tell me if anyone from his team was flirting with them so I could report it… Wouldn’t they? I glare at his back for a moment as he bends to take the tent apart.
He’s just trying to get in my head. He’s psyching me out.
*
Once we’re finally packed up, and our rubbish has been tucked away neatly into our bags, we head off in the direction of the castle James is certain is a hotel, or something similar. There are no paths to follow once again, and it feels as if we’re trudging through a jungle at points. The terrain is varied. It can go from hard and rocky with a slight layer of grass; to weeds; to boggy, wet ground that’s exhausting to cross, all in a matter of metres. And now, after an hour of walking, we’re heading towards forest. There are huge dragonflies hovering low to the ground, flying close to us, making us duck and dodge them as if they’re not used to seeing people around these parts.
James is behind me today, barking directions every now and again. With my low energy reserves, and without my usual caffeine kick, I can’t be bothered to fight him on the small things. If he wants to lead on directions today, then so be it. And anyway, if he royally screws it up, I can hold it against him.
And I will hold it against him.
Part of me is hoping and praying we can find somewhere with a phone or reception and call for help. I don’t plan on wild camping again tonight. Especially with how it ended last night. James’ body was not only toasty but firm and cosy. I hate to admit how comfortable I was with him entwined around me.
The conversation has waned completely since this morning’s argument. So, I decide to bring it up again. “So you don’t like Michael then?”
I hear James take a long breath behind me. “No.”
“Have you ever liked him?”
“Not really.”
I stare ahead of me. I never knew this. The way James hangs on his every word in meetings, the way he leans towards him in that flirtatious way, the way he always sucks up to him at events. It doesn’t add up. “Well, you’re a very good actor. Or maybe you’re a master of manipulation.”
“No… I’m a salesman. I’ve had to learn the skills to make people like me and make people believe I like them. Unless you’re naturally extroverted or have had to fight for your meals on occasion, it’s not something you’d understand.”
I stop, spinning to face him with a notch between my eyebrows. James stops too, groaning and dropping his shoulders. “What now?” he says.
“You’ve had to fight for meals?”
He shrugs.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
He nods, peeking over my shoulder. “Please keep walking.”
I roll my eyes at his attempt to push the conversation away. I walk on anyway but can’t help myself from saying, “Still can’t believe you don’t like Michael.”
“For crying out loud! Felicity! Why do you like him? He’s ripping you off. You should be earning so much more. I hate you, I really do. You’re a proper prim cow sometimes with all your rules and don’t-ruin-our-image rubbish,” he says. “But you are very good at your job and he should be doing a whole lot more to ensure you don’t leave.”
I swallow, unsure what to say. I honestly didn’t think he felt that way. We have occasional meetings between ourselves and a few members of our respective teams to talk about marketing the hospitality offerings and he’s always so quiet in them, letting others talk. I always assumed he didn’t care or hated being in the same room as me.
“You like my hospitality marketing ideas, do you?”
“Of course, I do. We get great leads through them. Why do you think I don’t?”
“You never say.”
I can almost hear his eyes roll. “I forgot you need constant affirmation. Thank you, Felicity. I like some of your marketing ideas.”
“Then why do you try to sabotage me and my department?”
“I don’t. Only when I see a way to make myself more money.”
I take a big step over a small stream, missing slightly, my heel landing on a slimy rock. My foot slips, and I’m about to right myself when a large hand finds the small of my back, pushing me carefully to the other side. “You alright?”
“I’m fine. I had it.”
“Sure, you did,” James says, removing his hand as he steps in front of me.
I frown at his back as he takes the lead again, his backpack bouncing as he strides ahead. “Is that all you care about? Money?”
“Yeah. What else is there to go to work for?”
I pull a face, using my hand to list off the reasons. “To inspire.” James scoffs. “To motivate. To learn. To grow in yourself. To leave something behind in life.”
“Trust me, nothing you do in your job is everlasting. Someone can replace you tomorrow.”
I don’t agree with that one. I’ve heard it said loads, but surely nobody could do what I do, day in, day out. Or at least they couldn’t do it as well as I do. God, I sound smug. What I mean is, I’m passionate… But I suppose other people are too…
“Who’s covering for you this week?” James asks.
“Well, I was planning on working in the evenings and doing emails from my phone, so nobody was really expected to cover me.”
He laughs. “Such a workaholic.”
“So are you!” I argue. “You stay late so that I have to stay late. It’s infuriating.”
“I only do that because you do!”
“Then stop,” I suggest.
“You stop.”
“ I’ll stop if you stop!” I quip.
Suddenly we both laugh.
“What are you suggesting? We form some sort of an alliance?” I ask.
“A leaving-work-at-normal-time alliance?”
“I wouldn’t trust you not to go back once I’ve left.”
James snorts. “Likewise. And by the way, you are way more likely to do something extremely petty like that than I am.”
“Ouch!”
“In fairness, since working at Starr, I’ve seen a lot less of my mates. I always try to make time for my family though. Do you think we really need to be at every weekend event these days? I feel like we could juggle the workload between us better,” he says. “Just feels like our entire summers vanish and then I’ve missed out on holidays and seeing friends whilst the weather’s nice.”
“I like being at every event, I want to go,” I say, unsure what he’s getting at.
James frowns. “Really? Why?”
“Because I find it satisfying to see what all my hard work has achieved.”
“You’re so strange,” he says with a gentle laugh. “Tell you what. Let’s make a deal. Neither of us stay at work past seven p.m. And on Fridays we leave at five.” James holds his hand out for me to shake. Initially I glare at it.
I really don’t know if touching him again will help the cause.
It’s hard trying to impress people all the time but maybe staying late at work is something we can both let go of. It would be nice to get out more. Maybe I could really try hitting the dating scene again. Be more flexible. Open to openness. With more time anything feels possible. I let the breeze ruffle my hair as a sense of freedom blows over me.
I take James’ hand and squeeze as he shakes mine. “Deal.”