Chapter 39
Gabrielle's POV
Fabian's text comes as a surprise, well, not totally, seeing how he and I have been pretty close as of late. He's a pretty cool guy.
This is the spot. I look around, searching the streets for him.
A car rolls by and out pops Fabian.
Smiling, I walk over and give him a hug, one of those hugs where we both sway from side to side as he almost refuses to let go.
"I'm so glad that you came," he says.
"Of course."
"I actually have something planned. It's kind of like a reservation thing."
"Really?" I question, a little confused, to be honest.
Fabian walks me toward the other block, where there's a pretty white horse attached to a beautiful red carriage, one with a table in the middle of it. The driver gets down, helps me up the steps, and Fabian climbs in after me. The driver reaches us, smiling warmly.
"Welcome, folks," the driver says. "I hope you'll have a wonderful experience tonight."
He lifts the silver cover from the platter, revealing a gigantic plate loaded with an assortment of meats, salads, and fruits.
I'm really astounded by this.
"Oh my God. Is this dinner?" I ask.
Fabian just laughs at me.
"Everything here is freshly cooked," he explains. "The carriage kind of doubles as a kiosk, a place where they can prepare the food right on the spot."
This is all very endearing to me, but to be honest, the only thing I'm thinking about right now is how sanitary this is. Because… where would he wash his hands?
The driver looks back at us and smiles.
"Enjoy," he says.
"Thank you," I tell him.
Then he flicks the reins, and the white horse starts moving.
"Fabian…" I start, not knowing what to say. "I wasn't aware we were going on a date."
“It's not a date unless you want it to be a date,” Fabian smiles. “Relax, it's just dinner. The truth is I wanted to talk and I wanted you to enjoy yourself while we did.”
“We're going to have dinner while the horse is walking around town?” I ask.
“Yeah, I figured we can see the sights, go alongside the river and everything while we have dinner, and then just enjoy each other's company. We already do at work, but I just wanted to do something fun outside of work.”
“This is all… it's really nice. But how much is this costing?”
“Ah! None of that. If I couldn't afford it I wouldn't have planned on it, and I wanted to have this experience too. I just didn't want to be a loser and do it by myself,” Fabian laughs.
It takes only a few blocks until we arrive at the river.
Fabian and I have been talking for a while, just about the city and about our childhoods and things we used to do when we were younger and how we view life and the world now. It's only been ten minutes, but it's weighing on me a lot as I hear the horse snorting while it clops along.
“Excuse me,” I say quietly to Fabian before turning to alert the driver.
“Yes ma'am,” the driver says kindly.
“I just… sorry if this is rude but how long has this horse been working?”
“Ah, Anavra has been working for 10 years,” the man answers joyously.
“Doing carriage riding through New York?” I question.
“That's right. Very good horse, the best I've had,” he says.
This makes me wonder how many horses he's had.
“I meant tonight. How long has she been working tonight?”
“You are the fifth customer.”
“So how many hours?” I question.
“No worry ma'am. I promise it's a good price and already taken care of,” the man says.
It's clear to me that there's some kind of misunderstanding or language barrier, even though his English sounds great.
“You misunderstand,” I start to say.
Fabian puts a hand on my arm.
“What's going on?” he asks.
“Hold on.”
I raise my hand politely toward Fabian.
“I'll pay you an extra hundred if you just park the horse by the water so we can eat by the river if that's okay.”
“Just to sit?”
“Yes, no riding,” I answer.
Fabian looks confused.
The driver does as I ask, and the horse is parked.
“Would the horse like some water?” I ask the driver.
“You're very kind. She had water an hour ago.”
“Okay. Thank you,” I smile and continue eating, only to notice that Fabian is still looking at me.
“What was that about?”
“Sorry if this ruins it for you but,” I lean in quietly. “I'm not really on board with the whole horse-drawn carriage through the city thing.”
“Really? Why not?” Fabian asks, looking hurt.
“No please, it's not you or anything. And trust me, what you did was very sweet but…
these horses often go through a lot. Look around you.
Do you think this is a place for a horse?
To walk for many hours on hard gravel and concrete, no grass in sight, for the sake of entertainment for people day in and day out for the rest of their lives until they can't do it anymore?
Sorry but I don't feel good about that at all.”
Fabian smiles. “Bleeding heart. I should have known.”
“Most people don't know. But once I get the knowledge, I just can't put it out of my mind and pretend that's not happening, especially if I'm benefiting from it.”
I take a bite of the small pastry with meat as filling.
“That's fair. But I'm sure there are a lot of things that you benefit from even right now that you're not aware of. So you're basically saying as long as you're not aware of it it's all fine.”
“Well I mean… yeah. If you're aware that something you're doing is causing suffering to something else, wouldn't you stop that activity?”
“Well then by that logic Gabby, you should stop eating that meat then.
Everything that we take advantage of, everything that we consume even here in the city, something had to die for it or suffer for it.
Whether it be slave labor from the very people and their children who helped to assemble the phones that you use in your everyday life or the clothes that you wear on your back.
“Or whether it be the animals packed in horrible living conditions, tortured and unhappy just so they can be slaughtered after watching their children go through the same, all so you can enjoy it on your plate. Just because you're not aware of it doesn't mean it's not happening.”
“So if you're aware of all that stuff happening then why do you do it?”
“Well let me ask you something. Now that you're aware of that stuff, why are you still eating the meat? I bet you'll still go home and use your phone too won't you?” Fabian says.
He doesn't seem to be challenging me in a malicious way but genuinely having a thoughtful conversation.
Sitting up straight, I wipe my mouth with the napkin.
“I'll still use my phone because I'm aware that stuff is happening but… it's on such a grand scale me stopping the use of my phone isn't going to really affect things and also there's no actual concrete proof that this is happening.”
“And is there concrete proof that the horse is suffering? I don't know, the mare looks really happy to me.”
“How do you know what a happy horse looks like?” I challenge.
Fabian shrugs. “I don't. But neither do you when it comes to proof that she's suffering.”
Then he leans forward a little. “Let me ask you something.
Let's say the horse is not living its best life but it's not being tortured either.
Honestly it's probably in better conditions than the chickens that get slaughtered for everybody else's nutrition in New York.
Even if you want to say you're vegan, plants and animal life still suffer at the hands of agriculture no matter what you're harvesting so…”
He blots the napkin to his mouth.
“…But let's say this mare was saved from being put down or used as pet food and instead this man decided to utilize the rest of her days to do this, which is more than she would have gotten rotting away in some stall.
He's out here with her every single day.
Fresh air, she gets exercise. And what if he's doing this to feed his struggling family as well?
Do you prioritize what you deem to be the animal suffering, under some moral compass, to make yourself feel better over that of his and his family's?”
I giggle. “Okay now you're just trying to make me into a monster.”
Fabian shrugs once more. “All I'm saying is if you're going to start bringing up the whole moral compass thing then we got to start tipping over every barrel and dotting every i.
What people don't understand is that the world…
is the wilderness. Just because we don't have a lot of trees here doesn't mean we're still not part of the jungle.
Those rules apply. Someone's got to suffer for someone to live.
The lion's got to kill and eat the antelope, and it's got to suffer the fear of being chased and eaten alive by wild dogs, or being suffocated by a lion to feed the lion. Sometimes they are necessary evils.”
“But for the little bit that you can do…
I would say the little bit that you can help…
you should. Maybe it looks different for different people.
Maybe for some people that's vowing never to eat meat again.
Are they still destroying the environment?
Sure, maybe. But they're choosing to at least sacrifice one aspect of their life in an attempt to help where they can, where they think it's feasible.”
“Is that so?” Fabian smiles.
“I'm not asking for this guy to have his horse confiscated or anything. But I'm pretty sure you can't blame me for paying the guy an extra 100 bucks to allow his horse to rest for the rest of our dinner. Maybe that makes me a hypocrite.”
I shrug, taking another bite of the pastry.
Fabian smiles. “You really like that pastry.”
Moaning a little, I giggle through the bite, pointing to the pastry in my hand with the other. “If this animal suffered a shit ton for this to taste this good, then suffering is one hell of a seasoning.”
Fabian bursts out laughing. “Wow! Look at Mrs. Righteous over here.”
“It's Miss. And I never claimed to be righteous. I just wanted the horse to rest. And our driver got an extra hundred bucks. What's the problem?” I laugh.
“Well alright then,” Fabian playfully concedes.
My heart swells because… well, Lincoln and I never talked like this.
Sure, we would talk about our dreams, about his work, and we existed with each other in the moment.
We went on adventures, saw different places, had new experiences, danced with each other, and told each other how much we loved one another.
A lot of the time I would read a book while he was on the computer researching his next project; back before he started working at Helion, when he had free time. That was whenever he wasn't working, which wasn't much, but it definitely was far more than the free time he has at the job he's at now.
Fabian is different. Whenever Lincoln and I disagreed on something, it would end in a fight, one that would be fixed with sex or by him walking away from the disagreement, refusing to see my side, or just straight up not even wanting to talk about it anymore.
I understood the frustration, but it left me wanting to be heard, or just wanting someone to hash it out with and still find a way back to each other despite it.
But Fabian is the first guy I've met where we could disagree on something and simultaneously see where the other is coming from; yet come away from it without it being malicious or a reason to hold a grudge.
It's refreshing.
“Thank you for this Fabian.”
“For the meat?” he laughs.
“For all of it. This is nice. Talking with you. Hanging out with you. It's been nice. It is nice,” I smile.
He blushes, smiling shyly. “It's nice talking with you as well. You have a beautiful heart. I hope I didn't… turn you off.”
“I wouldn't say you turned me on,” I tease, eliciting laughter from both of us. “No but for real… thanks for not getting mad at me.”
“Why would I get mad at you?”
Shaking my head, I smile as we continue eating our dinner, the driver playing a game on his phone, completely oblivious, probably over the moon that he gets a break he got paid a hundred bucks to take.
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