Chapter 34
Of course it’s her.
Sarah. Walking straight toward me like the devil sent her personally.
And she’s wearing something tight and provocative, the kind of outfit that screams look at me, look at how important I think I am. Her hair is perfect, her makeup flawless, her walk an angry gait like she’s gliding on pure hatred.
Hatred for me.
She’s staring at me with all the hosts of hell burning in her eyes, like I’m the one who ruined her life.
It’s been a couple of months since the incident… the fight… and she’s all healed up now.
Such a shame.
Really. I wish her face would’ve stayed lumpy after all the punches I gave her, but no, here she stands, every bruise long gone.
And she’s walking right at me with that indignation like she’s the wronged party, like she didn’t steal a husband.
At first, I expect Sarah to say something to me, but the other woman just grills me up and down and passes me to go into the house.
You know what… maybe I’ll stay. If anything, to make Sarah uncomfortable.
Yes, it’s toxic, but who cares. This woman injected herself into my life, tempted my husband, and slept with a married man.
It is 100% Lincoln’s fault… but let’s not pretend Sarah is not an element to this party. A catalyst to why this also happened.
Spinning, I head back inside Lincoln’s house.
Sarah is hugging him, giving him a greeting kiss, one with tongue.
I clear my voice. “I’ll take the job.”
Sarah looks back at me, her eyes simmering after rolling them, then she refocuses on Lincoln. Lincoln gives me a smile, still holding on to Sarah, whose arms are wrapped around his waist, her belly pressed to his.
“What job?” Sarah asks.
“I’m going to have Gabrielle house sitting for me and watching Morris.”
Sarah looks at the ceiling as if counting in her head. “Why would you need someone to watch Morris or the house?”
“You didn’t want to watch him.”
“I… so you’re going to get your ex-wife to do it. The same woman who beat me up.”
“And I would do it again. Gladly,” I cut in.
“I have a restraining order against you. So you can’t come anywhere near me.”
“I didn’t come anywhere near you. You came here.”
“Well now I’m here, bitch, so leave,” Sarah says with venom.
Good Lord, the self-control I require is too much to handle, but maybe I should take a page out of Sarah’s book. Allow her to look like the more unhinged person.
“Lincoln hired me. He’s my boss. So only he can tell me whether or not I should leave. Do you want me to leave, Lincoln?” I smile at him.
“No. But like I said about boundaries, if you’re going to work here I expect both of us to adhere to those.”
“I will adhere to the boundaries as well as you did with your co-workers. All of them,” I say, smiling with a closed mouth as dramatically as I can muster, looking between him and Sarah.
There's quiet for a while.
“Are you not coming into work?” Lincoln then asks Sarah quietly.
“Yeah of course, but I thought we were going to go together.”
“You look really nice,” Lincoln smiles at Sarah, and the exchange between the two makes my heart sink to my feet all over again.
How could he stand there doing all of that in front of me knowing how it would make me feel?
Lincoln is acting as though he never loved me.
He’s speaking to Sarah with a tenderness I find hard to even remember him showing me.
Stinging, I head to the bathroom and lock myself inside. After about two minutes of staring at myself in the mirror trying to collect myself, I hear a knock.
“Just a minute,” I say, breathing, trying to maintain control. Then I open the door to see Lincoln standing there.
“I want to show you the rest of the house. Where things go, all of that,” he says almost shyly.
“Pretty sure I can figure it out, Lincoln.”
“I know, but I’d like to make it easier for you to adjust.”
I’m too tired to fight right now, so I blink slowly and hold out my hand to indicate for him to lead the way, which he does.
He leads me through the single-story house. It’s pretty big, and I would have loved to live in something like this. It’s very cozy, very quiet. After he’s done, he stops in the bedroom.
I have no idea where Sarah is, but judging from the sound of clinking in the kitchen, she’s obviously still here in the house. All of a sudden I feel like shit, wondering why I even took this job.
Oh, that’s right. Money.
Well, I guess I’m following in my mom’s footsteps, torturing myself all for the sake of money and trying to survive.
Could I make money doing something else and making less of it?
Yes. But it’s a struggle, especially with my dad’s bills.
That part of my mind reminds me that if I was still with Lincoln, especially with him getting a bump in his pay, getting more popular, and obviously this being the promotion he needed, things would be easier…
but even still, I don’t know exactly how much money he’s making.
He’s living in a nice house, has a nice car, so he’s doing well for himself financially.
He was already doing well for himself when we were together.
I wonder how it would come off if I asked him those questions.
We could always talk about finances together, but now that I’m no longer married to him, what if he takes it the wrong way and thinks I’m trying to get money out of him or something?
“Do you have any questions?” he asks, getting his dress shirt.
“Why are you wearing green?” is the only thing I can come up with to ask, because it’s all my eyes can focus on.
“Why? You don’t like it?”
“No… I mean I guess it’s okay. It’s just that… you never wear green.”
Lincoln gives me a soft smile. “Sarah says she likes it.”
Of course.
I say nothing at first.
“Do you like it?” I question, a bit quieter.
“... I don’t know,” he whispers back.
The quietness that falls over us is uncomfortable and comfortable at the same time.
Two people who were once best friends and each other’s world now seemingly enemies…
but both aware there is always something more between us.
But even still, I can’t convince myself in any world or the next that Lincoln loved me.
Because if you truly loved someone, of course you would have the self-control to not do something you know would hurt them.
Like my mom, Lincoln should have rather sacrificed himself to protect me and to protect the sanctity of our marriage.
But he didn’t do that.
So he can’t love me.
-??-