Chapter 42
Gabrielle’s POV
The ocean… is magnificent.
Even though it’s very cold, I want to walk out to where the jetty is.
I start throwing bits of food that I bought just for the seagulls into the air.
I do this almost every Sunday, and I’ve even named a few of them.
They already recognize me now, so when they see me come up on my bicycle, which I take with me on the shuttle so I can come out here, they start making those calls that sound like someone cleaning a squeaky glass window.
Being here with them feels so amazing, and I used to at first think that they were going to poo on me or something, but they never did. I’ve gotten so used to them that they’ll come up right in front of me when I sit on the ground and take the food and eat it out of my hand.
There’s a ping on my phone.
Looking at the message, there’s one from Jada, sharing some article about a new vacation spot that opened up. Then there’s another one from…
Wow.
It’s from Lincoln.
My stupid heartbeat starts racing out of my chest. Traitor. It’s like my body hasn’t gotten the message that I’m not supposed to be in love with this man anymore, and I’m not. But my body is confused.
I wasn’t even hating the idea of teasing Lincoln, but he always manages to do or say something to piss me off.
Let’s see what the message says.
Lincoln: What are you doing today?
Does he really expect me to come in today for work? At this point he’s trying to find an excuse. My fingers start moving over the screen to type back.
Me: Why? I can’t come in today
He’s typing. The ocean is so serene even though it’s cold, but I feel warm in my jacket.
Lincoln: No reason. Just wanted to thank you for making dinner before and taking care of Morris
Me: r u firing me?
Lincoln leaves me an emoji with one eyebrow raised.
Lincoln: y would you think I’m firing you. did you do something naughty?
For fuck’s sake.
All of a sudden my clitoris starts throbbing as if it’s saying yes baby get that dick.
It’s so damn annoying. Because I’m reading what he said in his voice, and I can tell what his face looks like without even having to see it.
I’m not even going to grace him with a reply.
My feet are still stretched out in front of me, and I pull up my hoodie of my pastel pink bubble jacket and lie back flat on the ground, my hands on my belly as I look up at the sky.
One of the seagulls lands on the tip of my shoe and then flaps off.
It’s nice having them all around me. That way I don’t feel so alone.
“Skkeeuh-skeeuh-skee-skee” Handsome, the biggest seagull, shrills.
“Would you stop? Damn. Is all you care about food?” I smile, still lying back, looking over to my left at the seagull staring at me. “Like… don’t you like me for my personality?”
The seagull responds by cocking its head at me and then moving closer so it can bury its beak in my jacket pocket looking for food.
I chuckle and push the chest of the bird away.
It resists, walking back toward the pocket.
When the others try to come close to me to follow suit, Handsome unfolds his wings in a bright, intimidating display, his beak wide open, his tongue curled as he flaps in their direction, legs still on the ground, letting them know not to come close.
“Y’all better be careful. Handsome will fuck you up,” I laugh.
Another ping.
Sighing in complete frustration, I take out my phone again, still lying back and holding it up so I can see.
Lincoln: I wanted to ask you something.
There goes my heartbeat again. I don’t need cardio. Every interaction I have with this man I’m supposed to hate makes my heart start bolting down the freeway of whatever the hell this feeling is that I need to get rid of.
I read the message but send nothing back.
Lincoln: can I call?
“Ugh. Guess I’m not getting any peace on this Sunday afternoon because damn. Can’t a girl just lie down with some fucking sky rats and check out?”
One of the seagulls makes its last squeaking noise. I sit up, legs still outstretched in front of me. As I’m about to reply, it’s like Lincoln can’t wait, and my phone starts ringing in my hand.
I hold the phone up and say nothing.
“Gabby?” comes his voice on the other line.
“You better have a good reason for interrupting my day off.”
There’s silence for a little bit. “Um… If the answer’s no I understand.”
“Just ask the damn question, Link.”
“Well… I have a doctor’s appointment coming up…”
As soon as he says this, my heart beats for a whole new reason. Is he okay?
“...and I was wondering if you could come with me.”
I hesitate. “Why?”
“Because… they’re going to draw blood and all that stuff.”
His voice sounds so small on the other line.
Is he actually freaking serious?
“Why can’t you ask Sarah to go with you?”
“I don’t want Sarah to go with me.”
“It’s so sad when we can’t get what we want. Isn’t it.”
I don’t care if I’m being an asshole to him. It’s not like he doesn’t deserve it. Lincoln has always been afraid of doctors, even more so deathly afraid of injections.
As soon as the needle comes out, he faints.
It’s actually pretty cute. I mean, it wasn’t the first time I witnessed it because neither of us knew, and apparently he didn’t remember.
His family only ever gave him injections when he was really little, and somehow he was able to skirt by that in his teenage years. Or he blocked it out.
Regardless, I convinced him to get a flu shot with me when we were dating, and either he didn’t remember anything about needles or he didn’t know, because the doctor was explaining something and we were all laughing, and the next thing I know his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he’s falling over.
I remember how scared I was.
Yeah, I can laugh about it now, but at the time I thought he had a heart attack or something and died.
I remember screaming his name and the doctor trying to calm me down, saying he’s okay, he just fainted. He’s breathing, he’s fine.
Panicked, I kept peppering the doctor with questions, asking how he knew that Lincoln wasn’t having a stroke. Now I think I was stupid because of course the doctor would know the signs of what’s happening.
When Lincoln came to, they gave him some juice, and I was crying like mad, hugging him and sobbing into his shoulder.
He asked what happened and I told him. Maybe that was the time he became super aware of it, because anything that had to do with doctors, his blood pressure would always skyrocket to very concerning levels…
The kind of levels where someone could rupture an aneurysm.
As a matter of fact, he goes out of his way to avoid the doctor, and if he ever had to go for any reason, I would be right there with him.
Always.
For ANY doctor visit. And even though he was terrified, he would do the same for me.
It was just one of Lincoln’s quirks that became a normal part of my life with him.
Anybody who doesn’t know him would probably be freaked out by it. Lincoln is quiet on the phone now, probably not sure how to respond.
“... I’d really like it if you come.”
“What is the appointment for? Are you sick? Did you finally catch an STD?”
Lincoln chuckles sheepishly on the other end of the line. “No.”
That’s it? He’s not going to expound on why?
Then he finally does.
“It’s just a full physical. Work is making everyone do one because of the stress levels over the past few months. They want bloodwork, vitals, the whole thing. They’re updating everyone’s medical clearance before the next phase of testing. I have to do it.”
I roll my eyes even though he can’t see me.
“So that’s why you’re calling me?”
He’s quiet for a second, and then softly:
“Yeah. And because… I always did this stuff with you. The last time I did it with you.”
My chest tightens. Not in a romantic way. In the why the fuck are you saying that to me way.
“I'm not your wife anymore, Link.”
“I know but… please.”
The way he’s begging makes me want to do it with him. “Ask Sarah to do it.”
“Gabby…”
“No, ask your bitch to do it. You have some nerve.
I know you're paying me but it's kind of rich how I can do everything a housewife does even though yes you're paying me now for it…
and yeah you're probably going to say you paid for it back then too by providing, which you did…
but now we're not together and you're still getting some of those privileges while still out fucking someone else.”
“Do you want me to fuck you?”
What the…
I want to say something snarky back, but I don’t know what to say.
“Sorry, bad joke. Sorry,” Lincoln says, killing the moment. Mercifully.
“Look, all I'm saying is if you can have a relationship with Sarah she should be able to go to these things with you.”
“I don't want her to go with me.”
“Is that not an issue? You're sleeping with her. She doesn't cook for you, I'm doubting she cleans for you too, you don't trust her enough to take care of your cat, but you can fuck her and do all the other stuff with her even though she's not there for you?
“You can tell her all of our private financial and personal issues and take her advice about your marriage which she helped you burn down in flames, but she can't go to the damn doctor with you for something that makes you afraid?
Don't insult me any worse than you already have,” I say, hanging up the phone and feeling awful…
Because I want to go with him.
When is his appointment anyway?
I expect him to call back but he doesn’t.
I can’t even relax now. Getting up, I smile at the seagulls. “See you guys later. Thanks for sitting with me.”
As I get on my bike to ride down the length of the jetty back to the shore, the seagulls all flock and fly alongside me, something they clearly find fun, and I do too. It makes me feel like I’m flying with them.
Through my earbuds the old song Ravyn Lenae – Love Me Not plays, and I pump my pedals to the music. The seagulls follow me until the main street before they scatter back toward the shore.
Handsome is the only one that keeps following for a while until I get to the intersection toward the shuttle station. He waits on the awning of it until the big shuttle bus comes.
“Bye, Handsome,” I say, waving at him, smiling.
The seagull calls out and flaps away, heading back toward the beach.
By the time I reach my apartment, I’m tired. What time is it?
It’s after 4:00. As I head for the front door of the building, my heart freezes, seeing Lincoln standing there with his hands in his pockets, giving me a shy smile.
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