45. Jess
It feels completely unreal to be sitting at a desk on a Monday morning and working on design instead of staring at numbers. The environment here is so much different from what I’m used to back home; no cubicles, no meandering hallways. The entire tenth floor where we are is an open space concept with desks arranged in groups to encourage communication. Windows line the walls, giving the space a bright and airy feel.
The people here are super nice, at least the few that I’ve met on my team. And it’s a welcome relief from the constant flood of Connor-related thoughts in my brain.
“How’s it going?” my boss, Jamil, asks.
“It’s going well, I think. I’m working on the background landscape for the camping scene,” I roll my chair out of the way so he can step in and look at what I have so far.
“This is great,” he says. “Come see me when it’s finished and we can go over notes.”
“Sounds good.”
I’m about to put my earbuds in to listen to some music when a commotion by the door catches my attention. I turn to look where everyone else is looking, but I don’t see anything. Then I hear…is that a piano? Suddenly a voice starts singing the first lines of Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing and it sounds just like Connor.
Not everything is about Connor, Jess, get a hold of yourself.
I stand up to see what’s going on and—holy crap, that is Connor! And he’s playing the guitar! Oh sweet mercy, he’s walking right towards me.
Right on his heels is Chris wearing a…I think it’s a keytar? Mental note: never stop teasing Chris for playing a keytar. By his side is Anna holding an iPad, but I can’t see what’s on it. She and Chris are singing back up together and they actually sound amazing.
Everything about this is amazing.
By the time the chorus hits, they’re all directly in front of me and the entire office is not only watching, but singing along with them. I can see the iPad now, and it’s a video call, every square showcasing someone I love dearly.
I don’t even know when the tears started falling, but I’m a mess and I don’t care. He’s here in front of me. With my two best friends. It’s almost too much to process.
“Please don’t cry,” he says softly and wipes his thumb on my cheek.
“What is this?” I sniffle.
“You forgot something.” He reaches into his pocket. Pulling out the drawstring bag I immediately recognize, he looks up at me and draws in a breath. “I took the liberty,” he continues as he fishes something else out of his other pocket, “Of adding to it. Here.” He hands me a small gold box.
“What is this?” I ask again.
“Open it,” he smiles.
“Open it!” someone else from the office calls and then suddenly everyone’s joining in, including familiar voices from the iPad.
I gently take off the top of the box and see another charm, an hourglass with diamond chips where the sand would be.
“I know you asked for patience, and that is what you have from me if you’ll give me another chance. That’s what the hourglass is, just take all the time you need. Jess, I miss you so much and I am so sorry for what I said. I…I was scared, and I was an asshole and I will never stop working to earn your trust back. No more timelines, I swear.”
I want to reach out to him and touch his face, but I’m afraid if I touch him, he’ll disappear. “I don’t want you to give up your timelines,” I tell him. “I don’t want you to change who you are, I love who you are.” Both of our eyes widen briefly at my admission, but it doesn’t feel wrong to say it. “I just want to be a partner in your success, not a byproduct. Maybe include me. It can be our timeline.”
He looks at me for a moment. “I know this is the wrong time, but that is the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me,” he whispers.
“Aunt Jess! Aunt Jess! Arielle pooped in da potty dis mornin!” Gemma’s tiny voice comes from the iPad.
I stifle a laugh and look over Connor’s shoulder towards the tablet, still in Anna’s hands. She and Chris are both trying not to laugh, while the handful of coworkers who could hear what Gemma said have no problems chuckling.
“That’s great, sweetie. Give Ari a high five for me.”
“Okay! Are you gonna kiss Uncle Connor yet?”
Connor’s eyebrows raise. “Yeah, are you gonna kiss Uncle Connor yet?”
I smile. “Yeah, I think that sounds like a good idea.” I wrap my arms behind his neck, breathing in the comforting scent of his cologne. The guitar that’s hanging from his shoulders is in between us, but he swiftly pushes me back to slide the strap over his head and set the instrument down by my desk. With a firm hand around my waist, he pulls me against him and brushes my hair back with his hand.
“I love you, Jess.”
“I love you, too.”
I vaguely hear everyone clapping, but to be honest, the second his lips touched mine, all concept of reality leaves my brain. He holds me tight, like he may never touch me again, and I cling to him the same way. Kissing Connor is like coming home. And it feels good to be back.