PART 3
TWO YEARS LATER
Daksh Dey
Daksh: First, I would like to thank all of you who have been a part of this incredible journey.
When we started this podcast four years ago, we had no idea we would have literally hundreds of thousands of people listening to us, but it happened and we are grateful for that.
It means a lot to us and always will. Can you believe it, Amruta, it’s been that long?
Amruta: Felt like a week to be honest. The podcast, I mean. Staying with you feels like a long, never-ending lifetime. It’s like Dormammu stuck in a time loop It never ends.
Daksh: Before we start with the insults, Amruta, do you want to tell the listeners why this is the last episode?
Amruta: Umm . . . the short answer is that we have had enough of each other.
And we think it’s best for us to go our separate ways.
Our listeners should know that last week our divorce came through and we are no longer together.
To every girl and woman who has mailed us confessing about their crush on him, he’s officially single from today. I’m letting him go.
Daksh: So is Amruta. I would pitch her to you as a possible prospect, but I don’t want to mislead you guys.
But divorce . . . such a maligned word. Never thought I would have to use it, but there’s a first time for everything.
But . . . umm . . . you guys must be thinking—why stop the show if we had an amicable divorce?
Amruta: Firstly, no divorce is amicable. We have had our share of screaming and shouting. We have wanted to murder each other countless times. Haven’t we?
Daksh: So many times. So it’s better that we bow out before one of us gets charged for murder.
And we want to apologize upfront because we have kind of put up a front for this podcast for a long time.
We pretended that everything was going fine between us when in reality, everything was pretty much going to shit.
We would have a huge fight at home and then come here and record an episode as if everything was great.
Amruta: We apologize for not sharing it sooner. But there’s another reason why we want to shut down this podcast. Daksh and I have talked about this quite a bit over the years. And it’s one of the things we agree on. We can’t do this podcast any longer because our kids are no longer kids.
Daksh: They are more like half-functioning adults, aren’t they?
Amruta: Absolutely.
Daksh: So, whatever we say here is kind of dishonest. We have no idea what kind of challenges parents are facing these days. Some of you send us questions that we don’t relate to at all.
Amruta: Then we have to watch other people give advice and then we repackage it for you . . . so yeah, that’s another reason we need to shut this down now. So that’s what it is.
Daksh: Hmmm.
Amruta: Hmmm.
Daksh: Amruta, will you miss it . . . this podcast?
Amruta: It would feel like losing someone. I feel my relationship with this podcast is more complex than my relationship with you. This podcast has been . . . a little all-consuming for me. Now, I don’t think I can do anything else.
Daksh: Neither can I. It’s been what, two years since you stopped teaching?
It’s been a year since I have done anything else but this podcast. And of course, the other things that have come from it.
And life’s been good, right? It’s given us money, brand collaborations and honestly, it was just the two of us talking.
Amruta: Absolutely.
Daksh: Sometimes we would go back home and we would discuss how easily we were earning money and you would say things like . . . it almost feels like we have a cheat code to earning money.
Amruta: I remember feeling so terrified when I resigned from my teaching position.
Daksh: You have to thank me for that.
Amruta: True. So anyway, before slipping in that resignation, I had to remind myself again that what I earned in a month from this podcast, I wouldn’t make even in five years from the teaching job.
It felt and still feels strange that I earn a living out of this.
Anyway . . . I think it’s only fair that we tell them why we fell apart.
Because you know, this is something that can happen to them as well.
Daksh: Of course . . . And we shall be as calm as we can be about us.
But don’t judge us by our calmness. We are doing it so you can properly understand what we went through.
So yes, should we start from the first few months when we started living together?
So . . . honestly, the first few months were great.
Amruta: We didn’t have a fancy wedding as you guys know by now. Thank god for that. We saved a lot of money.
Daksh: So after we got married in the registrar’s office, you have probably seen the picture, we took a nice apartment on rent. All of us moved in together. It was a lot of fun because earlier, we used to keep going to each other’s apartments and now we had our own.
Amruta: Teaching them maths became easier!
Daksh: So much easier!
Amruta: I will miss you most for that. By the way, the time we got married was also the time Alia Bhatt shared our podcast on her Instagram and suddenly we had a hundred thousand new listeners . . .
Daksh: That’s when we kind of started taking it all seriously also, didn’t we? Anyway, let’s not digress.
Amruta: It feels strange to say this part aloud because all of you call us ideal parents.
Daksh: We always asked you not to do it.
Amruta: But that’s where our problems began—with our parenting.
Daksh’s parenting style and mine clashed.
And I didn’t like the way he parented my sons.
With Rabbani, he was loving but also strict when he needed to be.
You know him, that’s how he is, and that’s how it has worked for him.
But with my sons, because they are also boys, I have to be a little stern all the time.
He started to overrule my decisions. He was too soft with the boys.
Daksh: Because some of her decisions made absolutely no sense to me.
Amruta: I had raised them without you for nine years. They were pretty fine before you came along.
Daksh: This is what our fights used to sound like. On a higher volume though, and more caustic. We would be really, really . . . mean.
Amruta: And we are podcasters. We have a way with words. We know how to win an argument.
Daksh: We would drive to empty parking lots, away from our children and then shout at each other properly. It was fucked up. And it’s true that’s where it started to break.
Amruta: And another part was that he couldn’t see me scold Rabbani.
Daksh: I just couldn’t. It was unacceptable to me.
Amruta: And then it just went downhill from there. There was also the sex part.
Daksh: Do you really want to talk about that?
Amruta: Why shouldn’t we?
Daksh: It’s private.
Amruta: For the last three years, we have come on this podcast and spilt everything there is to know about us here, and now you’re saying it’s private?
Daksh: Fine. You go first.
Amruta: Our appetites didn’t match.
Daksh: Don’t make me sound sex-crazed.
Amruta: For the first few months, it was fine. I could match up, but then . . . it just got tiring. There was so much to do. We had thought combining forces would mean less housework, but it kind of ballooned.
Daksh: That’s because we had to get used to each other’s and our children’s idiosyncrasies. Someone would want something for breakfast, others wouldn’t, some wanted to sleep early, others late.
Amruta: It was a madhouse. It was like living in a dorm.
Daksh: It was an organizational problem. That’s what a lot of parents face too. If they are not morning people, or can’t have heavy dinners, but their children do, it becomes too complex to handle. For us, it was like herding wild horses into a single lane that’s acceptable to all.
Amruta: You changed the topic.
Daksh: I never said I wouldn’t.
Amruta: It started to irritate me. His constant horniness was a problem.
Daksh: I had changed the topic. Can we move on, please?
Amruta: You just hadn’t been with enough people, Daksh. So Daksh hasn’t dated a lot of people. So when I found him, it was all . . . just pent up.
Daksh: And how many people had you been with?
Amruta: Way, way more than you. So anyway, he was like an eighteen-year-old and after a while, it was . . . a little strange. I know, I know, I come across as some old person who doesn’t want to have sex any more.
Daksh: You don’t come across as anything but real. I get it. You had two kids, parents too, who needed your attention all the time. You were exhausted a lot of the time. But from where I was looking, you were intentionally making things complex . . . stressing over the littlest of things.
Amruta: That’s a huge part of who I am, Daksh. Even these listeners know it. I am a worrier. You can solve all the problems I have in the world and yet I will find myself worrying about something.
Daksh: That’s not healthy.
Amruta: It’s no longer your problem, Daksh. That’s just how my mind works. It wasn’t going to change by you saying, stop worrying about it.
Daksh: And I was the opposite. I was, like, we will see what happens. And that made us both angry. But more than that . . . you know . . .
Amruta: . . . just say it.
Daksh: . . . it was like something was always missing.
Amruta: You’re beating around the bush again. So, Daksh always said that in our marriage, romance was missing.
Daksh: I didn’t say that.
Amruta: He meant that. He kept saying, he thought it would feel different.
And every time he told me that, I used to get so angry.
I used to be, like, can’t you see all the things I do for you!
I think about you all the time! I take care of you and whatnot!
But now I see how that was not what you wanted.
Daksh: True. I always knew how to take care of myself.
Amruta: I’m sorry I couldn’t give you what you wanted.
Daksh: Don’t say that.