Chapter 21 #2
In one of the photos, Hugh had been standing on the far edge of the dais, nearly out of the frame, surveying the crowd. No champagne in his hand, no smile on his face. Utterly alone.
When she’d seen that photo, she’d wondered for the first time whether his life might actually be emptier and less fulfilling than hers, despite all the pomp and wealth and power surrounding him.
And now she had a pretty good sense of what he might have been thinking in that moment. Of whom he might have been thinking.
She spoke quietly. “You must miss Eloise terribly.”
“Every day. Every minute. I…” His mouth worked. “I love her like—”
He swallowed audibly. Corrected himself. “I loved her like my own heartbeat, and now I have to live with the knowledge that I didn’t help her when she needed me most.”
“You tried your best,” Gwen told him, but he just shook his head.
“Sometimes I trick myself into thinking I can sense her here, just like always.” He took Gwen’s hand and laid it on the exact center of his chest, where his demon’s heart steadily beat beneath his sweater. “I imagine that I can feel her love for me and that she’s happy again.”
His lips curved in a wry, sad smile. “A nice bit of self-delusion, isn’t it?”
If that delusion provided him comfort, Gwen was glad for it.
She flattened her palm over his heart. “How many others can you sense here?”
It couldn’t be many, after decades of suppressing his native empath talent.
He didn’t answer her question directly. Instead, he leaned forward and pressed a warm, lingering kiss to the center of her forehead. “As I told you earlier, Gwen, I can sense you. Even though it shouldn’t be possible.”
Her brows beetled. “What does that mean?”
What could be more natural than an empath’s ability to sense the emotions of someone literally intertwined with him?
“My talent shouldn’t apply to you. It should never have applied to you.” His voice was hoarse and low. “When we first met, I’d already deadened my connection to everyone but Eloise. I could only sense others if I consciously tried, which I never did. But I could feel you.”
His heart thudded an inhuman rhythm against her palm, strong and syncopated. His unshielded emotion shone in his molten stare, and she basked in the light, radiant.
“Even from an entirely different room, even though we’d never met, even though I wasn’t trying to sense anyone or anything, I could feel you.
” He shook his head in seeming disbelief.
“I had to seek you out, to see you as soon as possible, because I’d never experienced anything like that before, and I never have since. ”
Sudden understanding widened her eyes. “Is that why you came to see me in the waiting room instead of attending the test before mine?”
All these years, she’d assumed he’d been sent to her by SERC in some sort of weird honeypot scheme, but she’d been wrong. He might have deceived her as to his full identity, but not in hopes of catching her out in a falsehood or proving her unworthiness as an oracle.
He’d simply needed to find her. Needed to figure out who she was and why he could sense her.
“Yes.” His hand covered hers over his heart.
“And yesterday, as soon as Haziq woke me, I knew you were nearby before he said a single word. I recognized you.” Another disbelieving headshake.
“Even though I can barely sense any flickers of emotion at all these days on the very rare occasions when I try—and only from people I’ve known for decades. ”
His free hand coasted over the generous curve of her hip through her new nightshirt, and she nearly dissolved into a puddle of need against his tense, hot body.
“You can’t imagine how shocking that sensation was, Gwen.” His gaze searched hers. “Or how stunned I am every time I can sense you so strongly. With such immediacy.”
From the wonderment in his tone, he seemed to consider that a good thing. “What do you think it means that your talent always responded to me?”
She wouldn’t let herself think of what Eloise had said that day in the waiting room. Wouldn’t let herself imagine being Hugh’s other half, even for a moment.
“I don’t know,” he said. “But it’s the greatest gift of my life.”
Wow. That was…quite a claim. One whose generosity she wished she could justify.
His stern gaze caught hers. Lingered.
“I know how hard your time at Delphi must have been, given the nature of your visions at the time.” He didn’t let her flinch away, his thumb on her chin gently directing her gaze back to his.
“But when I saw you in that waiting room, you still radiated such warmth and charm and humor despite your anxiety over your upcoming test. And when I asked you what you’d change about the academy, you advocated for your teachers and classmates rather than for yourself. ”
“Anyone would have—” she began, but he wasn’t done yet.
“You’re pregnant and not a trained fighter.
” With uncharacteristic rudeness, he didn’t even acknowledge her attempted interjection.
“Nevertheless, when your community came under threat, you joined the battle against that threat and put your life on the line to save your neighbors. Shortly thereafter, you climbed through a hole in Wall Four, donned a horrendous spiky wig, dragged yourself to the apartment of the demon who’d presided over an absolutely terrible moment in your life, and demanded that he help your compatriots, however great your misgivings and exhaustion must have been. ”
Truthfully, she had been quite tired. She’d give Hugh that much.
If he didn’t wrap up this overenthusiastic appraisal of her supposed virtues soon, however, she was simply going to melt under the immense heat of her embarrassment.
“Your friends and neighbors obviously love you, and you help their daily lives in ways you don’t seem to recognize or sufficiently value.
” When she scoffed, he raised a chiding brow.
“From what I hear, you’re the glue holding that community together and making certain everyone cooperates to survive whatever hardships may come their way. ”
“That’s not…” She frowned at him. “Who said that?”
A self-satisfied smile played at the edges of his mouth. “I talked to Kip and Lorrie while you were sleeping in my car. I also conversed with Haziq last night while I was arranging for your cheese delivery. He’s heard a great deal about you from his aunt.”
Gwen waved that off. “He shouldn’t believe a word she says, and neither should you. Farhanah’s just trying to matchmake.”