Chapter 1
The Next Day
Ryven
“Are you ready for tonight's graduation?” Joey beams from my left, and I let out a groan.
That’s all he’s talked about for six damn months. He’s been ready to leave this place, just like the rest of us. Who wouldn’t be? We are all sick and tired of high school, and we’re ready to get on with our lives.
I should be excited too—graduation is supposed to mean more time with Rory. But, her brother has other plans for his life, and I have to follow him so he won’t be alone. Someone has to protect him…
I glance over at him, really looking this time.
Joey’s bouncing on the balls of his feet like this is the best day of his life. Like he’s about to walk into something worth celebrating instead of something that could swallow him whole.
He has no idea. Or maybe he does—and just doesn’t care. That’s what scares me the most.
I shrug. “I guess.” The mumble from my lips has him punching my arm. But the word feels wrong the second it leaves my mouth. Like I’m lying to both of us. Because there’s nothing “I guess” about this. The moment we step onto that stage tonight—everything changes. And there’s no going back from it.
“Come on man! We have been waiting for this all year.” The smile on his face stretches ear-to-ear, and it makes me cringe.
I shake my head. He still doesn’t get it. This isn’t a choice for me. This was never going to be a choice I made for myself. But If he goes—I go.
I don’t even have to think about it. Someone has to keep him alive in there. And I already know it’s going to be me. There’s no point saying it out loud. Not here. Not where anyone could hear.
You don’t talk about the Order like that. You don’t question it. You don’t hesitate. Because hesitation gets noticed. And getting noticed? That’s how you die.
For half a second—I think about not going. About choosing something else. Anything else. Taking her hand and walking out of this place like none of it matters. Like we still have a choice.
But that thought dies as fast as it comes. Because we don’t and Joey will still go without me.
Joey is my best friend. The only person in this world I can trust fully aside from… his sister, who owns my heart.
The Order of Ash isn’t like the other factions. It’s not something you choose because you want a life. It’s something you choose when you’re willing to give one up.
You either make it to the end or you die trying. They’ll break you—tear you apart, spit you out, and hope there’s just enough left to follow orders. Why so many decades ago, the leaders of our districts decided this was what was good for us… I’ll never know.
And Joey is… excited. I don’t know whether to shake him—or let him have this moment. Because once we step onto that stage… there won’t be many moments like this left.
Chairs scrape across the floor as class is dismissed, and we both gather our belongings. No one is acting normal. Not really.
There’s too much energy in the room. Some people are laughing too loud. Some are dead quiet.
A couple of guys in the back are already talking about what they’re choosing, throwing around words like infrastructure and production like they’re safe bets. Like they’re not all just different ways to disappear. And then—someone says it. “Order of Ash.”
The words cut through the room like a blade and everything shifts. People go quiet. Heads turn. Joey grins beside me. But my body locks up. I hate how excited he is.
I walk toward the door. I need some fucking air. I don’t want to be a part of the conversation in here. I have my own demons to fight and I don’t want to hear that someone else is excited to go to the cult like Joey is, anymore.
Rory’s waiting in the hall—and just like that, everything else fades away. The looming dread. The noise around me. The pain I know I’ll see in her eyes when I leave. Nothing else matters except for her.
Her eyes find mine, widening slightly when she spots me and a slight smile forms on her lips. I move toward her without thinking. Joey probably says something smart behind me but I don’t hear him. She’s the only thing that matters.
I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her against me, sinking my lips to her neck.
Her fingers curl into my shirt like she’s holding on tighter than she should.
Like she already knows. I want to remember her like this.
Soft. Calm. Happy to greet me. I want to remember her scent. Anything that will get me through.
She leans back so she can see my eyes and raises a brow. “You okay?”
I kiss her forehead. “Yeah, I just missed you.” I don’t tell her what is really bothering me. It won’t do either of us any good to stress about the inevitable.
She runs her hand through my hair before tugging on it lightly. “You look like shit.”
I bark out a laugh and scowl at her. “You really know how to make a guy feel good about himself.”
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, well. I can tell you didn’t sleep last night.”
I grab her hand in mine as we walk down the hall. “You didn’t either if I remember correctly.”
She squeezes my hand. “Shut up.”
Everyone says we’re too young to know what love is. Maybe they’re right. Maybe we don’t. But I know one thing—whatever this is… it’s the only thing in my life that feels real.
And tonight I’m walking straight into something that might destroy it.