Chapter 13
HEAD ON STRAIGHT
Here Molly was thinking that she was right. It was an experience that she doubted could ever be replicated.
And there was Dean saying something that reminded her she was just a notch on his bedpost.
“Sorry,” he said. “That came out completely wrong. It didn’t sound that way in my head.”
“No worries,” she said. “Neither of us is a virgin.” Thank God she wasn’t.
She threw the covers back and got up. If she did, then maybe he would too.
He had to leave anyway, so there was no reason for them to laze around. They weren’t going to do this again.
He had a kid to get.
And she needed to get her head on straight. Right now it was spinning faster than a character in The Exorcist.
Maybe that was what she needed. Someone to pull out these stupid thoughts and ideas that seemed to have taken over her body making her think she could be someone she never could pull off in the long run.
She grabbed a T-shirt out of her drawer and pulled it over her head, thankful it was one that at least hit her mid-thigh. She was covered up enough in her eyes.
No reason to put her sexy attire back on.
He grinned at her, then stood and grabbed his jeans. “I should go. I don’t want to, but you know.”
“Yep, you’ve got to get Jonah. I hate this is awkward.”
“Don’t let it be. It just tells me what I thought. That you haven’t done this much. I guess it’s odd to me, you come off one way, but then there are layers to you I’m finding.”
Crap.
Not what she wanted to think.
“Don’t we all have those layers? The first time I met you, I wouldn’t have guessed you were a single dad. You said it’s been a while for you too.”
Though she highly doubted it’d been years since he’d had sex and she sure the hell wasn’t going to ask him any of that.
“It has. Life gets in the way.”
“It does.”
So much for this not being awkward because it was happening while she stood there and he got dressed.
What happened now?
Were they not going to talk again?
Not see each other?
“I’ve got your number. I’d like to see you again. Unless this was all you wanted.”
Was he giving her an out?
Did it look as if he was disappointed if she said yes.
She was going to be honest.
“I’d like to see you again, if you want to.”
When he was dressed, he stood next to her, his hand coming out and running down her cheek. It was as if he sensed something had changed with her.
“I’m sorry if my words bothered you. It wasn’t my intention. I think I lost a few brain cells in your bed.”
She grinned. A real one. Not one she even had to consider forcing. “I might know what the feeling is like.”
He pulled her into his arms, gave her a hug.
Not a passionate one.
But a tender one.
Like he cared. Not just about what he said, but about her.
Which was ridiculous for her to let her mind go that way.
“I’ll be in touch. Maybe not tonight, or not until Jonah goes to bed. Could be later. He doesn’t always go down when I like him to. Not like when Carly does it.”
“Carly?”
He hesitated. “His sitter. She’s great. And flexible with hours, thankfully.”
“You’re lucky there,” she said and felt like they were getting off track. “I’ll be around if you want to reach out.”
He gave her one more kiss on the lips and then walked to the door.
When she shut it behind him later she burst into tears.
What the hell did she do? How could she have been so stupid?
She’d been playing a silly game and Dean had no idea he was a player in it. She had no right to get upset he said what he had about being with a redhead.
She had no right to want him to stay and cuddle either.
She shouldn’t wish for more. To wish for a relationship with a man who would just brush by her, if he didn’t bump into her as if she didn’t exist on the street if he saw her as her real self.
She did what she should have done before she had sex with Dean. She called Ruby and hoped to hell her half-sister was around to answer.
“Hi, Molly.”
“Oh, Ruby. I did something so stupid.”
“What?” There was concern there, something that felt good to get.
“I just had sex with Dean.”
“What?” Ruby asked. “When?”
“Like now. He just left. We had a lunch date.”
“Erika told me about it.”
She smiled, not the least bit upset that her sister did that. “I figured she would. And I don’t know. He just makes me feel so good about myself and the next thing I know, I’m asking him back to my place before he has to pick his son up.”
“Good for you.”
“What?” she asked.
“I said, good for you. You take the time to be a woman. You have every right to feel the way you are about being with him. About wanting a little bit of fun in your life. It’s about damn time.”
She smiled, tears running down her cheeks. “I needed to hear that.”
“I know you did. I met him, remember. He seems like a decent guy.”
She hated that she was doing this. “Do you remember anything about his situation with his son?”
“Sorry. He wasn’t very open about it. He said he needed like a nanny space.”
“Nanny?”
“Or a sitter. He needed a place someone could stay because of his hours.”
“Oh, got it.”
She was reading more into it. People interchange words all the time.
“I showed him one house, he said he’d take it and we closed pretty quickly. I really didn’t have much more interaction with him other than the home inspection where everything went well, and then the closing.”
Ruby was pretty outgoing, so if she couldn’t get information out of Dean, then he wasn’t sharing.
“It was worth a try. He said he’d reach out again. Maybe tonight. He talks about Jonah but I haven’t wanted to ask too much about that situation. It’s not like I want to volunteer about my life.”
“Hey,” Ruby said. “You went through what a lot of girls do. I just say you’re a late bloomer. Nothing wrong with that.”
It was the laughter in Ruby’s voice.
“I guess that is a good way to look at it. You don’t think I’m a bad person for doing this?”
“For wanting to have sex with a hot guy? Hell no. Go get some more.”
She laughed. “Don’t say anything to Erika. Not yet. I’ll tell her at some point.”
“She won’t judge but I don’t know your relationship as well as you either.”
“I don’t know if she will or not, but I don’t want her to slip and have it come out to my mother either.”
She rarely brought her mother up around Ruby. It just didn’t feel right.
Though her half-sister knew she wasn’t close with Tessa Clarke either.
“You know you can always call me if you need to talk.”
“Thanks. I feel so much better. He’d slipped and made some joke about being with his first redhead.”
“And it hurt. I know,” Ruby said.
“Maybe if I’d had more relationships it wouldn’t have. I’m being a wuss.”
“You’re being human. You’re being you dialed up with him and he seems to like it.”
“We were talking seriously too. Like intellectual things. I’ve never done that with a guy before. I was shocked at how knowledgeable he was.”
Which felt bad in her eyes. She didn’t want to put him in a slot like so many people had done her.
“That’s great. There is always more to people than meets the eye. He knows the you that you’ve put out there. Clothes don’t change any of that.”
“Even bringing him back to my place today?”
“You were horny. Girl, we’ve all been there. He wasn’t fighting you off, was he?”
“No. He was really sweet and even said I could change my mind a few times.”
“Then get out of your head. Give it some time and see what the next step is.”
“What if he doesn’t reach out to me? Do I reach out to him? I don’t know these things.”
“Let’s take it one day at a time. Josh, he might have pursued me more than I did him but he saw what we could have. Some people need that more than others. Just remember, he’s a single father and managing a bar. His hours and life aren’t nine-to-five weekdays like yours.”
“Which I’m glad I’m talking to you, because you know that with your job and Josh’s. It makes me feel so much better.”
“That’s what older sisters are for.”
“I’m glad I’ve got you in my life.”
“I’m glad to be in your life,” Ruby said.
She hung up and then took a shower. When she came out, her phone was ringing and she thought for sure it was Dean.
Or maybe she hoped it.
Nope, it was her mother.
Like all the rotten luck.
But she’d been pushing her off and answered it.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Molly, how have you been?”
“Good, busy.”
“Are things slowing down with work? How about dinner sometime?”
She closed her eyes and held back a groan.
She hated to lie. And maybe if she did this now, she could have some peace to work things out with this Dean situation.
Since it was so new, it’d be easy to not have it come up.
“You know, if you’re around tonight, I’m available.”
“That’s great,” her mother said. “Make sure you dress nicely. Maybe you’ll see some nice guy and we can strike up a conversation there.”
She ground her teeth, but wouldn’t say anything else about that.
“I’m going to dress the way I want.”
Which wasn’t going to be her normal frumpy self, but not the new Molly either.
She was just going to be her.