Chapter 15
NOT LEAVING
One week later, Molly had finally moved on. There was no way that Dean was going to contact her again.
She’d done what she never thought she’d do. She’d put out on the first date and now she was all by her lonesome once again.
Her tears were dried up. Her sexy clothes and new persona she’d tried to be were locked away and she was done beating herself up over the stupid experiment. Guess there was a reason it took her so long to come out of her shell.
She could tell herself as much as she wanted to that she was a researcher and that was what she did, by playing a role, being someone she wasn’t, just wasn’t the way to go.
She’d had fun, she really did. She wouldn’t regret what she’d done, even if she was a bit sad it didn’t work out the way she wanted.
That she was that horrible of a judge of character.
Live and learn, and she learned a valuable lesson.
Saturday morning she heard a knock at her door. She’d been cleaning the house and trying to keep herself busy. She had a new Jeffrey Deaver book she was dying to dive into and the minute her chores were done it was the first thing on her list to do.
Well, the second thing. She wanted chocolate chip cookies too. The last batch was actually in the oven, so once they were cooling and she got to eat half a dozen or so, then she’d get to sit down with her book.
She’d never thought she’d be one to bury herself in chocolate when she was depressed, but she’d been snacking on it daily from the vending machine.
Dropping the rag she was dusting with, she went to look through the peephole and saw the last person she ever thought she’d encounter again.
“I know you’re in there,” Dean said. “I can hear you moving by the door and it smells like baking too. I think it’s from your place.”
What the hell was she going to do?
She looked down at her shorts and old T-shirt. Her hair was in a ponytail, but she hadn’t even washed it today. When she put her hand to her face she realized her glasses were on too.
“Come on,” Dean said. “Let me in. I know I should have called you before now, but I’d like to explain. I had a little family emergency on top of work. I left my son earlier than normal to seek you out. Doesn’t that count for something?”
Grrr, that was low on his part.
He didn’t have to justify himself to her. He could have just written her off…but it seemed he didn’t. He didn’t even text, but made the extra effort to come see her.
Should she give him another chance?
The buzzer went off in the kitchen and she jumped, making her bump into the door.
Kind of giving it away that she was standing right there listening to him.
He was laughing now, she could hear him. “Get whatever you are making so it doesn’t burn. They smell really good. I’m not leaving though.”
Her head was swiveling back and forth and she finally went to take care of her cookies. Then she ran cold water on her face to clean it fast, hoping there wasn’t dirt, dust, or sweat left over from her cleaning and baking fest.
When she felt she was finally composed enough, she made her way to the door, unlocked it, and pulled it open.
Yep, there he was still looking hot as ever making her think sweat was going to form on her brow again.
Could she pull this off without her sexy attire to make her confident? That was yet to be seen.
But maybe it was a good test too.
“Look at you,” he said, walking right past her. Ditch-a-date-Molly might have stopped him in his tracks, but she was still too shocked that he’d come knocking at her door to do much more than hope she didn’t say something really stupid.
“And what is it you see?”
“Glasses that make you look sexier than ever.”
“What?” she asked. Black-rimmed glasses weren’t sexy in her eyes. Maybe if she were in a tight pencil skirt and heels with a pen by her pursed lips. Hell, she didn’t even really know the true meaning of a pencil skirt until she started researching fashion online a few weeks ago.
“Glasses are always sexy on a woman who doesn’t wear them often.”
“I’ll have to take your word for it. I don’t normally put my contacts in on the weekends. And well, I’m cleaning today, so I’m a little bit of a mess.”
“You look normal. Natural. I like seeing you this way.”
“Why?” she asked, trying to figure out what parallel universe she was in.
He waved his hand. “No one is made up all the time. That’s not real.”
Was she looking at this all wrong? “No, it’s not,” she admitted slowly, cautiously as if she was still trying to piece together what was going on.
“So, do I get some of those cookies that I can see cooling in your kitchen?”
She almost said, “sure” but then remembered he left her five days ago and there had been no word since.
“Why don’t you tell me why you are here first?”
“I wanted to see you,” he said. He wasn’t moving closer to her, but she could see he wanted to.
“Not enough to contact me all week?”
“The phone works both ways,” he said.
He was right, but she was new to this and didn’t know what to do. If she had texted him would he have thought she was too clingy? Then after a few days with nothing from him, she decided it was best to just move back to her dull existence.
“It does. But you said you’d be in touch, so I was going by that. And I thought maybe you knew the rules more than me.”
“Rules?” he asked. “Remember, you’re the one who invited me into your bedroom.”
Damn him for pointing that out. Her face turned red. She knew it. It had to have with the way her body felt as if someone lit a match right under her skin.
She crossed her arms, put a firm expression on her face that she hoped she pulled off as determined. “You didn’t say no.”
“What guy would?” he said, laughing.
There was no use arguing with him. She’d like to think plenty would say no, but the truth was she had no clue.
“So you said you had a family emergency?” she said. “I hope Jonah is okay.”
“He is and thanks for asking. I appreciate that. My sister showed up unannounced. Matter of fact, she showed up when I was at work, and working late, and Carly let her in after she checked with me, if she could do it.”
“She had to check in to let your sister in the house?”
He shrugged. “I’m not that close to my family and I’m not originally from here.”
Interesting. Did they have that in common with their family? “Same here. I mean I’m from here but I told you I’ve got siblings and my mother and I aren’t that close. My father passed years ago.”
“I feel the same way about Willow and my parents. Not close at all. Anyway, it’s always drama with her and it was again. She stayed four days before she had enough and then went back home. So that was yesterday. First chance I could get, I was here. Doesn’t that count for something?”
She didn’t want to cave, but the charming grin he was sending her said she might.
“I suppose,” she said. “I’m still reserving judgment.”
He laughed. She wasn’t really joking but maybe he thought she was.
“And then it was the holiday and things always pick up over the summer to begin with. I’ve had some staff out sick and working nights, which I hate to do too much of, but do work Friday nights. These are excuses, but they are also the truth. I guess I missed you more than I thought I would.”
Her heart shouldn’t be racing over hearing that. Especially because she wasn’t positive he wasn’t just missing the sex.
“Not enough to at least text me.”
He let out a sigh. “You’ve got me there.
I picked my phone up a few times to do it.
I really did. Then I’d put it back down.
I know you were hurt by what I said before I left.
You can argue all you want, but I’m not stupid.
I saw it in your eyes. I saw it in your actions.
I’m not used to hurting people, even if I don’t like them. ”
“I’m not sure if I was hurt more than surprised. I don’t know what I was. It wasn’t like you said anything horrible. It’s just...”
“It was the wrong time for it. We’d just gotten done screaming each other’s names out and here I made a stupid comment about the first time I’d had sex with a redhead.
Any idiot would know you don’t do that. I’m not sure what it is about you that has me twisted.
Maybe that’s why I didn’t reach out either. ”
That might have been the wrong button to push. “So it’s a game to you? That you needed to see if I was worth it or not?”
“Man, your face just got even redder. I’m making a big mess of this.” He reached for her hand. “I want to start over. Can we sit?”
“Have a seat,” she said, motioning to the couch. She moved to the chair. Just the touch of his hand on hers was enough to make her want to jump into his lap. She had to keep a clear head.
“I work a lot. I’ve never had time for anything other than my business.
I’m a goal-oriented and career-driven guy.
Then I’m a single father. Like boom, there it is and I’m doing it all on my own.
So I’ve been balancing a demanding job. As Jonah gets older, he wants to be with me more.
I like that more than I ever thought I would.
It makes it hard to date, so I’m pretty rusty.
That’s not an excuse. That is really the truth. ”
His business? Goals and career-driven? This didn’t sound like the fun bartender that she’d gotten to know.
Then reminded herself how much did she really know about him?
It’s not like they talked much about their pasts or their lives. It was all about their present.
She sighed. “So what was the plan with me?”
“I didn’t have a plan, which is saying a lot because I always have plans.
I don’t normally make the time to date for several reasons, but I wanted to take you out.
I had a great time. I’d planned on another date all along, then life got in the way.
I asked myself how the hell I was going to do that and then there was Willow pulling me in yet another direction. ”
“But then you got me in bed already and figured there was no rush. It’s been a week and here I let you right back in. Maybe that was part of your plan to see how easy I was.”
Damn, where are these words coming from?
But you know what, she could stick up for herself.
If she were going to give this another shot. Or let him keep talking. She wanted all the facts that she could get.
“You go right for the balls, don’t you? I could say the same about you. You came into the bar three times. The first we met. But then you came back two more times and any idiot would know it was for me.”
He was smirking at her and now she knew what it felt like to want to wipe a smirk off someone’s face. But again, he was telling the truth. She went there purposely to see if she could be someone she wasn’t. To see if she had the courage to flirt with him.
Did she think he was going to ask her out? No, she didn’t. At the time she was glad he had.
Now that her world was spinning around her, she didn’t know what to think.
“You’re right. I did go there. I wasn’t going to ask you out though.”
“You weren’t?” he asked, his smile dropping like boulders down a steep mountain.
“I don’t normally ask men out,” she admitted.
“In this case, I’m glad I did it then.”
He might think she had tremors right now with the way her head was moving while every thought bopped around in her head.
“So now what? I’m still confused over what this is all about. Why you’re even here.”
“I don’t know. This is new for me. I haven’t really dated anyone since Jonah was born.
Not seriously. I haven’t even wanted to, but with you, there is a want I haven’t felt in a long time.
The only thing I can honestly tell you is I’m not ready to be done with you, with us.
I’m not ready to have you walk out of my life, but I’m not sure what I can give you either.
I’m not one for promises. I’m just laying it all out there. ”